Retired lap dancer- ask me anything

[yourprivatedancerEX]

It’s not something I tell new people I meet that for 10 years I used to be a very successful lap dancer. I have a very different career now but often reminisce about my secret lap dancing past, always with fond memories!
I think it’s still something that is frowned upon by many and in my view I think that’s largely down to being misunderstood. So if any of you have any questions I will answer them and hopefully give you some interesting insight into the secret world of lap dancing! Ask away.

today I had a day off because I wanted to sit on the couch and watch some telly (handmaid’s tale is on today in the US)

Taking a day off from lap dancing to watch the handmaid's tale. Oh the irony

Miss conduct.

Oh. In that case It doesn’t even justify a reply from me.

Thanks for explaining

"Just a dancer"

Well fuck me sideways - that just might be the rudest thing said on this thread.

I'm 33, am I too old to start?

Large glass

Just ignore- if that’s her only contribution to the thread she’s clearly just trying to provoke a reaction.

Aye I'll go and shout at the stupid footballers on the telly box instead!

@notfuninthesummertime

Oh aren’t you hilarious. Considering I’m not being raped or forced into anything and the same can be said for every girl I know in the industry, your comment is pretty stupid. Though please do keep up your judgements of women who enjoy having choice, hmm, sounding a bit Serena Joy. Not everyone has to do what you see as “proper”

@changethisnamething

Nope I wouldn’t say you are at all! We have quite a few women over 40, one has 4 kids which I find unbelievably impressive but I guess with stripping it gives her plenty of time for school plays etc. the oldest I think is early 50s but she’s just incredible in general so she’s kinda an exception.

I'm glad it gave you a financial start and good luck with your new career.

OP, you're quite welcome, and by the way, I think that you've been remarkably polite and patient with the snark that you've been getting.

Early 50s! Really?

@BGD2012

Yep, she has very good skin and is very in shape. Kinda rocks a fairly muscular look with a pixie cut. She has also had her boobs done but no other surgery I believe.

Wearing a short skirt does not in an of itself contribute to the fact that men see women as commodities for sexual exploitation and gratification. Wearing a short skirt (or a sparkly thong) and enticing men to stuff it with money while you writhe and provide them with a private erotically charged lap dance? Yeah that kinda contributes to the idea that women’s bodies are commodities for men’s pleasure.
But what do I know, with 16 years experience of watching male colleagues pay for dancers and prostitutes and listening to their conversations before and after.
I’m still laughing at choice feminism though. I was that naive once.

enticing men to stuff it with money while you writhe and provide them with a private erotically charged lap dance? Yeah that kinda contributes to the idea that women’s bodies are commodities for men’s pleasure.

Yes, that is where it goes from being debatedly empowering for the dancer and definitely into commodifying women for me. The OP tells us this doesn't happen, whilst others tell me that, nowadays it almost does. I'm not off to a lap-dance club to find out so I guess I'm stuck in ignorance on that one.

Women wearing short skirts on a Saturday night could also perpetuate that culture. Ridiculous.

I don't understand your point here?

I’ve only ever seen men shove money into dancers g-strings in films.

I’m not saying it doesn’t happen at all. I’m sure it will somewhere. But I never witnessed or heard of it in the 10 years I worked in the industry.

Perhaps things have changed since? That I don’t know. One of the other more current dancers might be able to shed some light on that one.

No I objected to being called thick. I think there’s a difference.

If you're honest with yourself - lack of intelligence is inevitable feedback on a one-sided, disingenuous presentation of any industry, no matter what it is.

Particularly one with a dark side, on a forum full of women who know people who've worked in the field with very different experiences.

30 to dance for a man wearing little or no clothes!? I thought it was supposed to be good money! Sounds grim

Many of the 'just dancers' at the club my niece works at are dancing to fund their under graduate and post graduate degrees. They're very intelligent, educated, financially independent and very physically attractive and having met a couple of them they certainly don't appear to have low self esteem. In fact, why on Earth would these lovely girls have any self esteem issues considering how many valued attributes they have been blessed with?

Why are certain women so determined to believe these girls are 'just dancers' with zero self esteem, low morals and hiding some inner misery or desperation ?

First time I have ever read a full thread more than 4 pages long.!

It’s been brilliant. I love the OP; I’ve found it really interesting and I have particularly enjoyed the mumsnetters getting worked up about it all.

OP, can you tell us more about your life now? Are you married / children?

Shambu

Well if it’s inevitable then that is a real shame that a group of women from different walks of life cannot hold an intelligent, well balanced and respectful discussion without resorting to childish tactics such as name calling and insults.

And how have you adjusted to the very substantial drop in your earnings?

Miss conduct

Thank you very much, and I have enjoyed your contribution to the thread

@furandchandeliers £600 per hour? Sounds bloody good to me!

What did you do will all the money you earned? At £2500 a night at best and £300 for an average night for quite a few years...