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Original poster

Retired lap dancer- ask me anything

813 replies

yourprivatedancerEX · 26/06/2018 05:30

It’s not something I tell new people I meet that for 10 years I used to be a very successful lap dancer. I have a very different career now but often reminisce about my secret lap dancing past, always with fond memories!
I think it’s still something that is frowned upon by many and in my view I think that’s largely down to being misunderstood. So if any of you have any questions I will answer them and hopefully give you some interesting insight into the secret world of lap dancing! Ask away.

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Original poster
yourprivatedancerEX · 26/06/2018 06:18

Lobster I didn’t put it on my cv! I don’t judge people for judging me, no. In a way i understand it. I too had preconceived ideas and assumptions about it before I went into it! I suppose if you’ve never seen it from the inside and never experienced it you are going to have assumptions and not always positive ones. But I of course prefer it when people don’t judge and are prepared to be open minded about things.

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LadyRochfordsHoickedGusset · 26/06/2018 06:20

I'm not judging at all, hope it didn't come across that way, genuinely curious.

Original poster
yourprivatedancerEX · 26/06/2018 06:27

Bumbling bovine, ooh that’s a tough one.

My favourite memory would be (and this sounds dead cheesy but it’s the only way to describe it) the ‘sisterhood’ like bond that all the girls had. We were young and carefree and ‘in it together’ we would look out for each other and I’m still friends with some of them over 10 years later. They’ve all left dancing too now and are in other careers, many now married with a family. It’s lovely to catch up and reminisce :)

Worst memory... hmm I’ll have to give it more thought, I’ve not had much coffee yet this morning but the winter months were tough when the club had just opened and hadn’t warmed up yet. You’d be sat there bloody freezing waiting for someone to come in so you could dance and warm up! But then once the club got busy it would be the opposite- too hot and we’d complain about our make up melting off so you couldn’t win really!

I wouldn’t be mad if my partner went to a club no, but I would think he was a fool for wasting his money! (Because I know that all the girls are just thinking about what takeaway they’re going to pick up on the way home, or what they’re going to do tomorrow etc. They’re not really interested in the men that come for dances!)

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zen1 · 26/06/2018 06:28

How many days/nights per week did you work? Did any future employers question why you had a blank CV till you were 27 and what did you say?

Original poster
yourprivatedancerEX · 26/06/2018 06:29

Glad you’re enjoying the thread! I’m trying to answer all your questions but you may have to be patient- im getting ready for work at the same time! (And for those wondering yes it’s on my cv and has a pension Wink)

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zen1 · 26/06/2018 06:30

Also, did you ever get harassed by any of the men?

hildabaker · 26/06/2018 06:32

Were you offered any training when you started?
However did you get the nerve up? I would feel so shy

GetInMaBelleh · 26/06/2018 06:35

Would you be upset if your DP/DH had a lap dance?

Original poster
yourprivatedancerEX · 26/06/2018 06:36

Taytoallday there were some guys that would try and push it or who didn’t believe you when you said dancing only but the clubs were always very much on the girls’ side and if we told the bouncers they would go give the guys a warning or throw them out. We were very looked after. The bouncers even walked us to our cars afterwards to make sure we didn’t get approached or harassed outside the club.

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Original poster
yourprivatedancerEX · 26/06/2018 06:38

Yes there were a couple of clubs I knew of where you had to get naked on stage when dancing the pole. I refused to work there as I didn’t like the idea of not being able to control who could see my body. I only worked in clubs where the stage acts were fully dressed (well to dancing standards anyway!)

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strawberrisc · 26/06/2018 06:38

Would they really let Bethany Platt dance with that many clothes on?

petrolpump28 · 26/06/2018 06:40

Did sleaze bags stuff fivers down your drawers.

MeMyselfand · 26/06/2018 06:44

Did you enjoy it?

Original poster
yourprivatedancerEX · 26/06/2018 06:56

The clients were mixed really. Most of them were ok, normal guys who you’d have a chat with and a bit of a laugh and then they’d egg each other on to go for a dance.

You also got quite a lot of rich guys that liked to show off, they would come in and buy champagne and say they didn’t want a dance but would pay the girls to just sit in the vip area with them to make them look good. That was always an easy night!

There were a lot of parties and stag dos which were good fun as no one took anything too seriously.

The customers I didn’t like were the ones who asked for extras (but as I said upthread they would quickly be removed by the bouncers) and then there were the ones that would be condescending and say things like ‘why are you doing this...you’re too good for this...’ I hated that so much because they assumed i was doing the job out of desperation when actually I loved it.

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Original poster
yourprivatedancerEX · 26/06/2018 06:58

Iheartniles most of the dancers were in their 20s but there were some in their 30s

No really bad experiences apart from dealing with the odd sleazy guy, or being really bored on a quiet night waiting for people to walk through the door. For that reason I and a lot of the other girls used to work like mad over Xmas and then take January through to March off completely as they were the quiet months.

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flumpybear · 26/06/2018 07:00

Did you actually get paid by the club or was your pay just tips? (I'm not interested in the career btw !)

Original poster
yourprivatedancerEX · 26/06/2018 07:01

Bovine we were classed as self employed. For the first year (because I was young and didn’t really know much about it) I didn’t register but then upon the advice of the other girls who had been doing it a while I registered as self employed and paid both tax and NI. A few years back I checked to make sure I was fully up to date with my NI and it was confirmed I am so all good there. Although I can appreciate it is a risk for the girls that don’t realise the importance of doing that. I do think the clubs should do more to make them aware. I was lucky that the girls taught me everything and I went on to do the same for other new girls.

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ReadytoTalk · 26/06/2018 07:01

Did you ever work with trafficked women and if so did they love the job as much as you did?

Original poster
yourprivatedancerEX · 26/06/2018 07:04

Lady Rochford don’t worry I’d be daft if I didn’t expect that question to come up! No it never went further than dancing for me or any of the girls I worked with. The clubs were very very strict and so were the girls. I can’t speak for al clubs everywhere as I haven’t worked in every single one but there is a bit of a dancers code which to my knowledge applies everywhere.

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ThroughThickAndThin01 · 26/06/2018 07:04

Food for thought OP, thanks for the insight.

byanyothernamerose · 26/06/2018 07:08

Really interesting thread! Blatant placemarking...but thank you for your honesty/insight op..Smile

Original poster
yourprivatedancerEX · 26/06/2018 07:14

Zen up to the age of 27 I worked between 5-7 nights a week, through choice. Then at 27 I got a day job in sales and stuck to the dancing on a weekend only for another year or so before stopping completely.

As for my cv I said I’d done club work in the uk and abroad. It wasn’t a lie, I just never specified it was dancing and I don’t think my first couple of jobs asked. After that I didn’t need to mention it at all once I built up a few years of sales on my cv.

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LellyMcKelly · 26/06/2018 07:17

@yourprivatedancerEX. Fascinating thread, and you sound awesome! flowers

LellyMcKelly · 26/06/2018 07:18

Or Flowers even ☺️

Wishfulmakeupping · 26/06/2018 07:19

Did you ever see anyone you knew? My dsis friend used to do it and one night had a stag group come into the club that she’d been through primary and secondary school with she said it wasn’t awkward though!