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Original poster

Retired lap dancer- ask me anything

813 replies

yourprivatedancerEX · 26/06/2018 05:30

It’s not something I tell new people I meet that for 10 years I used to be a very successful lap dancer. I have a very different career now but often reminisce about my secret lap dancing past, always with fond memories!
I think it’s still something that is frowned upon by many and in my view I think that’s largely down to being misunderstood. So if any of you have any questions I will answer them and hopefully give you some interesting insight into the secret world of lap dancing! Ask away.

OP posts:
Murpher · 27/06/2018 18:10

What do you think of #metoo?

OJZJ · 27/06/2018 18:21

Grin Goddamnit! If that's the criteria I am screwed your private dancer aah well.. on the positive side at least we can split the winnings after you PM me Grin

mrjoepike · 27/06/2018 18:24

am only 4 pages in but have to go/no questions
i used to make costumes for/lapdancers/burlesque/old school style strippers.clubs were very careful about security.even watching over me wandering in with boxes of gorgeous goodies for "my" girls.
great thread and demystifying it is needed
husband was a bit older than me and met betty paige and blaze starr

moleskin patches help with heel blisters/the kind you would use in hiking boots

Helmetbymidnight · 27/06/2018 18:28

. She was referring specifically to the extremely rude and actually rather nasty posters upthread that seemed to take great delight in being rude

Well what an usual way to respond to rude people:

‘I bet you don’t earn much, your job is miserable and you must feel crap about your body?’

What odd insults- and hardly likely to be true, don’t you think?

mrjoepike · 27/06/2018 18:32

got news for you men do lapdance
had a male review here a few months ago and after the initial performances were lapdancing for the rets of the evening.

chippendales dancers have been doing lapdances all over the world since at least the 80s.

Moonkissedlegs · 27/06/2018 18:40

I don't think you can compare the Chippendales to the woman who dances in the roadside lapdancing club on the B359, can you?

mrjoepike · 27/06/2018 18:43

why does chippendales not count as lapdancers,
they are you know.?
ok, how about
men of sapphire
hunks
sinsation
just for a few

also females are actually more aggressive generally towards male dancers, than most males i have seen towards female dancers.
downright freaky

mrjoepike · 27/06/2018 18:45

there are sleazy side of the road male clubs as well.

Shambu · 27/06/2018 18:46

And where did I say I expect applause shambu?

I never said you did. But you whined about a post that of adroit criticism as if you were surprised.

OlennasWimple · 27/06/2018 18:48

OP (and the others on the thread) - do you consider yourself a (ex) sex worker? That is, that what you do / did is part of the sex industry?

StripStripHooray · 27/06/2018 18:55

I don't consider myself an ex sex worker. Mainly because sex workers are presumed to be prostitutes, and I was a stripper, it can get conflated. I was a sex worker, but I would never refer to myself as a sex worker, if that makes sense?

Original poster
yourprivatedancerEX · 27/06/2018 18:56

Shambu

No I objected to being called thick. I think there’s a difference.

OP posts:
StripStripHooray · 27/06/2018 18:58

I think #metoo is hugely important regarding the massive amounts of women who are sexually molested, abused, violated. It is horrendous that it is so common.

HappyStripper · 27/06/2018 19:00

@Olennaswimple

I personally do see myself as a sex worker but that’s partly because I’ve also been a cam girl and am planning on doing some porn. I’d also do full service if it was legal here, though probably just as a premium for long term clients who I know well and for quite a premium price as it wouldn’t be worth doing it for what I could earn just stripping.

There’s also a community of sex workers especially online so it can be nice to have an all encompassing term, mostly just to bitch about mutual grievances and funny clients etc.

MissConductUS · 27/06/2018 19:01

OP thanks for this, very enlightening. There was a similar thread recently from someone who worked in the funeral industry. It's a great opportunity to demystify things and let people ask their questions about it.

I, for one, have no problem whatsoever with anyone in any legal occupation.

HappyStripper · 27/06/2018 19:02

At the same time there are plenty of girls at my club are very specific that they’re just dancers, and that’s cool too. They stick to exclusively stripping.

hdh747 · 27/06/2018 19:07

I have found this very interesting and thought provoking, and the more I think about it the more complicated it gets.
I dislike the objectification of women by men. And I think women doing any kind of job that is purely for a man's sexual gratification could be expected to reinforce that idea in men.
BUT, many women who do the work, claim it empowers them. Because they are proud of their bodies and their sexuality.
BUT the problem is, historically, in our society men have always had nearly all the power. Men were pretty much considered to own their wives. And often dictated that women should keep their bodies covered up (and yes some still do). So removing your clothes can be a statement of your own sexuality and keeping them on can be a statement you're not here to titillate a man.
So my thoughts are: if a woman displays her body and uses in on her own terms, totally her own terms, dances how she wants, says no where she wants, etc, then actually there is some empowerment possible. And if a man, or another woman, is happy to pay for her to do so, and enjoy her performance on her terms, fine.
BUT if she dances how he wants, does what he wants, because that's what will turn him on more and earn more money then the whole argument that it is self-empowering breaks down for me.
BUT if a woman can actually stay true to herself, own her own sexuality, and make a living from it without compromising, which is maybe how men who are Chippendales etc feel then maybe they can actually teach men something positive.

BUT it feels like a big if...
I'd welcome your thoughts OP as I'm not being goady I'm genuinely trying to think it through.

jade9390 · 27/06/2018 19:13

Why are you also a qualified Dr or lawyer? You were just a dancer

BGD2012 · 27/06/2018 19:13

You may have answered this but I can't read through all 24 pages. Did it help set you up financially? For instance did it get you a deposit on a house, accelerate mortgage etc? Great thread.

Original poster
yourprivatedancerEX · 27/06/2018 19:14

Jade I don’t understand your question. Was that directed at me?

OP posts:
Original poster
yourprivatedancerEX · 27/06/2018 19:17

BGD at risk of being accused of glamourising it again, yes it did. Not so much in the early days as I was young and excited to be earning good money so spent a lot at first but a few years in i wised up and saved like crazy. I used it to buy a new car outright, no finance, deposit for a home, paid off student debts and funded some qualifications for myself.

OP posts:
Moonkissedlegs · 27/06/2018 19:18

I think #metoo is hugely important regarding the massive amounts of women who are sexually molested, abused, violated. It is horrendous that it is so common.

Do you think that your line of work perpetuates a culture in which women are objectified and dehumanised, and therefore will continued to be sexually molested, abused and violated?

SlideAway82 · 27/06/2018 19:21

Women wearing short skirts on a Saturday night could also perpetuate that culture. Ridiculous.

MissConductUS · 27/06/2018 19:21

OP, if I'm not mistaken, I think Jade was responding to your comment that "No I objected to being called thick". The implication of course is that unless you're a doctor or a lawyer you should be fine with people assuming that you're not very bright.

Original poster
yourprivatedancerEX · 27/06/2018 19:24

Hdh
Your post doesn’t come across goady at all. In fact it’s well written and you make some really good points which I agree with.

You’re right in that it’s complicated and how you view it depends on the angle from which you look at it. I only ever claimed to be talking about my own experiences and perspectives which for me have been positive.

For me, being able to use my body in a way I wanted to, to be proud of my body and to have full control over what I did, when and for whom was empowering.

I can totally see that for someone made to do it by men, someone without the choice, then of course it’s not empowering at all.

I like that you’re giving it some real thought and not just jumping on the attack. Thank you for your really interesting contribution, please do stay on the thread and chat some more Smile

OP posts: