Retired lap dancer- ask me anything

[yourprivatedancerEX]

It’s not something I tell new people I meet that for 10 years I used to be a very successful lap dancer. I have a very different career now but often reminisce about my secret lap dancing past, always with fond memories!
I think it’s still something that is frowned upon by many and in my view I think that’s largely down to being misunderstood. So if any of you have any questions I will answer them and hopefully give you some interesting insight into the secret world of lap dancing! Ask away.

December
Thank you. I appreciate your appreciation! I will continue to be honest about my experience though for some reason it has really riled a few!

And to be honest, if you can make £20 for a three min dance why would you want to give a guy a wank for the same amount of money?!

Advice please
Why should I stay silent just because you don’t like what I have to say? What a ridiculous comment to make.

Why do you think they would offer extras with you around? Do you think they are stupid?

Book a boo sue

Oh god this is getting ridiculous now. I’m not only responsible for trafficking and sex work but rape too apparently.

I’ve been honest and remained polite but I’m not prepared to listen to such rubbish or told to stay silent.

I remain true to myself. As a lap dancer I had self respect and boundaries which I stuck to and the same applies now. So apologies to all those genuinely interested and enjoying the thread but I’m out.

Enjoy the rest of your day everybody and good luck with all that you pursue.

You don't make £20 for a 3 minute dance. You make £10 except in a few places and a third of that goes to the club.

@crunchy would would anyone be a lap dancer if that was all they made from a dance?! They’d earn more stacking shelves part time in Asda

crunchy I’m quoting the figures an ex dancer used.

And sue That was an appalling thing to insinuate that the op beats any responsibility for male violence.

, it's not 'brave' to sit behind a keyboard possibly telling people a load of old shit

No its not. Have you heard about young girls lured here , then taken to warehouse to be broken before being pimped out. Its vile.

Crunchymint can you give us some sources for your wisdom please? E.g. Links to reputable articles/experience at a club yourself/friendships with people who work(ed) in one/friendships with people who have been to one?

I made £20 for a 3 minute dance, no word of a lie. "A third" did not go to the club, I tipped what I felt was appropriate based on what I'd earned. If it was £200 I'd give them £10, maybe £20. The club made enough money from the £40-£60 each girl was giving them to be there (just remembered it was £60 at the weekends). And from drinks.

There were cameras in every booth and bouncers checking on the girls' activities in every booth. You would be sacked for telling someone your real name, giving them your number, arranging to meet outside the club... hell, we were explicitly told by the club that they could tell the difference between accidentally brushing past someone and grinding. The bouncers would have a word with you if they thought you'd been too friendly... The club was in no way supportive of "touching".

OP why did you start the thread?

But hey, even at £20 a dance some girls couldn't make money lap dancing. Some didn't have the chat, the confidence; I don't know what it was, because you couldn't tell a successful lap dancer from looking at her. I for one do not look anything like you'd imagine a lap dancer. Much better looking women than me didn't make money at it.

But you know what? Those girls didn't stick at it, losing money every night to come sit in a lap dancing club. They didn't start rubbing men's crotches for extra cash, not least because the club wouldn't have stood it for a second. They wouldn't want to lose their successful girls who paid their bills. Those girls stopped being lap dancers. I don't think I can say that enough.

Op hasn't gone anywhere, just being dramatic.
Oh and yes I do disapprove from any way in which a woman's body is used to sell products.
And stop the what abouttery just shows you don't actually have a valid point left.

@JelliedFeels - aye I'd like to know what Crunchy actually does for a living......

Crunchy is correct with the figures used for payment and what the girls earn.
This is what the woman I know was telling me.
They do it for the tips, this is what makes their money.
They rent their space, pay tax and NI, paid slightly above min wage by the club.
No different to being a bar maid on a busy weekend.

Another retired dancer popping in to say hello to the other girls! 🖐

My experience of almost 10 years dancing mirrors what's being said on here by OP. I enjoyed it much of the time, not easy by any means but once you've got your confidence and chat down, it gets easier.

I met my husband in the strip club, we've been together five years, we both worked there.

I'm confident crunchymint has no idea about strip clubs or how the vast, vast majority run.

@gillybeanz this isnt true in the higher end clubs- Spearmint Rhino etc. Dances were a flat fee of £20, more for stage shows involving a stag or sit downs which ran into the hundreds.

Four ex-lap-dancers on one thread? It's like a reunion!

I've read with interest. I can't help noticing those who are pro-lap dancing industry use the word "girls" a lot to describe the dancers. Those who are critical refer to them as women.

@RatRolyPoly
I came out of lurking just for this. Waves to all the other dances 👋🏼

Our manager always used to call us "ladies" when addressing the assembled, but I know how that goes down on MN.

I'd call my friends "the girls" even though we're in our thirties. There's a knitting and craft group at my church though and the average age is 84 and they call themselves "the girls" (i suggested their group name be '50 shades of grey).

Interesting though, there's definitely something in it.

Waving and heel clacking all round 🖐

I think it's familiarity. In my sports team we refer to ourselves as ladies, but as dancers we always called ourselves "the girls". I guess it comes of being/having been part of a group, you use the familiar terms for one another.

Someone needs to glue my lashes back on, one just fell in someone's drink