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Original poster

Retired lap dancer- ask me anything

813 replies

yourprivatedancerEX · 26/06/2018 05:30

It’s not something I tell new people I meet that for 10 years I used to be a very successful lap dancer. I have a very different career now but often reminisce about my secret lap dancing past, always with fond memories!
I think it’s still something that is frowned upon by many and in my view I think that’s largely down to being misunderstood. So if any of you have any questions I will answer them and hopefully give you some interesting insight into the secret world of lap dancing! Ask away.

OP posts:
RatRolyPoly · 26/06/2018 12:45

What are you talking about crunchy? I'm not sure you know as much about how lap dancing clubs as you think you do...

RatRolyPoly · 26/06/2018 12:46

*work

user1471429763 · 26/06/2018 12:47

@crunchymint it's not contradictory at all. Women come and women go and it tends to balance itself out. No one is 'made' to leave or travel elsewhere unless they have broken club rules. If the club needs more girls it recruits. If it has enough it doesn't- just like any job.

crunchymint · 26/06/2018 12:48

Okay now you are talking rubbish. In any industry there are more profitable shifts. Think of this logically. In a pub, fast food place, cafe, restaurant, ANY service has shifts that are more profitable, some average and some less profitable. People say what shifts they want and a rota is worked out. But you always have more people wanting the more profitable shifts and people not wanting the less profitable shifts. So someone decides who gets the most profitable shifts. And of course management can decide to give shifts with few customers to women not playing ball.

And ANYONE who has worked in ANY service industry with shifts knows this is how it works. Lap dancing clubs are no different. Although recruiters in any service industry always tell you differently.

crunchymint · 26/06/2018 12:50

This thread has sadly descended into bullshit.

RatRolyPoly · 26/06/2018 12:53

Sorry crunchy, that's nonsense. In our club you could have every single girl working on a Saturday night; every single girl. If a girl was not a high earner and didn't want to come in on a busy Saturday night with lots of competition, she didn't have to. If she wasn't earning a lot at lap dancing because everyone else was making more than her on busy nights she didn't work as a lap dancer any more.

crunchymint · 26/06/2018 12:55

So how do you get enough women to work all days if you only have enough women to work on a Saturday night?

RatRolyPoly · 26/06/2018 12:57

We didn't need as many girls on in the quiet times, but you were more likely to get dances if you were one of only a handful of girls than if you were one of loads.

RatRolyPoly · 26/06/2018 12:59

Oh, and the guys who come in at quiet times end to be serious - i.e. spenders. Your busy nights are lots of guys but more one or two dances here and there, not booking your company for 2 hours chatting in a private booth types.

crunchymint · 26/06/2018 12:59

That makes no sense at all.

crunchymint · 26/06/2018 13:00

Ah! So the women working quiet times were offering more "extras". Okay that makes more sense. And don't pretend men pay for 2 hours in a private booth to chat.

RatRolyPoly · 26/06/2018 13:00

Well I assure you it's how it works, as have others on this thread, so...

halfwitpicker · 26/06/2018 13:01

Could you actually dance beforehand? I. E. Classically trained, or even non classically trained? Did you have a dance background?

RatRolyPoly · 26/06/2018 13:04

Ah! So the women working quiet times were offering more "extras". Okay that makes more sense. And don't pretend men pay for 2 hours in a private booth to chat.

No-one offers extras at any time crunchy, you really need to let go of that fabrication.

My best ever night a guy gave me £750 to sit with him in a private booth (by the way, these are just the normal booths, not hidden away or anything, it just means other girls can't dance in them too) so he could tell me about his deployment in Afghanistan as he'd just returned.

These booths, like I say, were just the normal dancing rooms, but you got them to yourself. It was a massive con to be honest, you didn't get anything else when you booked someone for 30 minutes in a booth than if you just booked them for dances, mostly because us girls weren't stupid and would spend most of that time making inane conversation with all our clothes on. Why the bloody hell would we do more than we needed?

RatRolyPoly · 26/06/2018 13:05

Oh, and that night was a Tuesday night; "quiet time".

DarlingNikita · 26/06/2018 13:09

OP, do you have to have formal dance training?

crunchymint · 26/06/2018 13:11

Of course you try and do as little as possible for as much money as possible. That makes sense for women working in lap dancing clubs. But men also want value for money and share reviews.

And in most clubs you will now pay £10 for a lap dance. Even Stringfellows only charges £25 for a lap dance. Remember lap dancers pay the club to lapdance and pay commission. So they will be getting about £6 a lapdance. You need to do a LOT of lap dances to make a living. Which is why "extras" are so common. But also why there there is a high turnover of women in the clubs. They go into it and find you don't make much money without offering "extras". Many leave at that stage, others stay and offer "extras".

user1471429763 · 26/06/2018 13:18

@crunchymint You very clearly have little or no working knowledge of lap dancing clubs. You are continually making more and more outlandish claims to back up what you perceive to the 'reality' of the industry without any reference to where you are drawing your knowledge from whilst disregarding counter opinions from people who have worked in the industry. You clearly have an axe to grind and won't accept anyone who challenges your opinion.
Unfortunately this thread has very much become something I'm sure the OP didn't mean it to as often happens about posts regarding lap dancing on mumsnet. In order to properly debate one needs to draw from many different view points and experiences and regard these fully to either challenge or accept them. I'm certainly not suggesting there aren't lap dancers that haven't had bad experiences, I'm merely supporting the OPs statements as ones that resonate with my working experiences too and those of many of my friends and ex colleagues

Nicknacky · 26/06/2018 13:24

crunchy Why are you so convinced extras are as common as you say they are even though there are posters with years of working experience in these clubs?

Why are you so certain you are right and they are wrong if you have never worked in one? What’s your source?

RatRolyPoly · 26/06/2018 13:24

Crunchy you don't need to tell me to "remember", I did it for 4 years!!

I paid £40 to the club for the nights I danced. I got £20 per 3 minute dance. Two dances and I had broken even. Two three minute dances. I'd get two dances out of the first guy I spoke to! You didn't pay "commission" as such, you paid a tip to the club (to the bounders actually, as they kept you safe) based on how much you earned. Some nights I paid quite a large tip, sometimes I paid nothing; it was an honesty system.

Extra are not common. If you can't make a living lap dancing you don't work as a lap dancer, because believe me there are enough girls out there who earn quite enough thank you by not whoring themselves out as well. The guys would sometimes try their luck and say, "oh, that girl over there gave my mate a handjob", and we would laugh in their faces because no fucking way was any girl doing that. The girls were tight, we didn't do that to each other, we didn't need to do that to each other, and the clubs would have sacked us in a heart beat!

There will always be girls who want to be lap dancers. Not every girl can make money lap dancing. As I keep saying, those girls don't turn prostitute in lap dancing clubs, they simply stop being lap dancers.

Original poster
yourprivatedancerEX · 26/06/2018 13:29

Advice please

Where do you get your facts that ‘most women want to leave?’

And why does it set a bad example to young girls? Does modelling? Does reality tv? Does being an artist wearing very little in a music video.

Look around you. The female body is everywhere. For some reason you have a very intense problem with lap dancing alone.

OP posts:
crunchymint · 26/06/2018 13:33

Because of competition the charge for lap dances has decreased. By "extras" I don't mean full sex. I mean anything extra that involves touching. And yes nearly all clubs turn a blind eye.

You know nothing about me, so don't make assumptions about me.

smellfunny · 26/06/2018 13:34

Crunchymint, have you ever actually been in a club? I'm a woman, and I've been to a few. I haven't seen anyone offering extras, and the women I've seen dancing do not seem to be working under duress. I paid for one of my mates to have a lap dance and he actually said it was "thoroughly underwhelming" because he, like you, thought extras are a thing... they certainly weren't in that club, and club is still open and doing well. Can you stop embarrassing yourself now?

Nicknacky · 26/06/2018 13:35

How do you know this though? Why should posters believe what you are saying rather than those with genuine knowledge?

Original poster
yourprivatedancerEX · 26/06/2018 13:35

Tectonic plates

We’ll feel free to start your own thread saying how terrible it is. My thread is about my experience.

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