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Original poster

Argument with DH over a bath

165 replies

Bells2323 · 29/12/2023 12:27

Just had a screaming match with my DH and I want to know if I am being unreasonable or not.

I had a bath in the morning around 11. He was in the bedroom as I having a shower.
At 12 I went into the bath again, and he asked again if I was having a bath. I didn’t answer, he asked again and I didn’t answer because he should have know that I wasn’t having a bath as I had one in the morning.

When I came into the bedroom, he started shouting at me for not answering and I started shouting at him for asking, what I think is a stupid question. He said he didn’t remember; I think he didn’t remember but was asking just to annoy me.
He went downstairs, muttering to himself about me.

OP posts:
GreyBlackLove · 29/12/2023 14:07

The Lack of attention just made me upset, and I thought “if he can’t be bothered to remember / pay attention then I won’t answer him.”

You expect him to track your hygiene routines? Honest to God this isn't a normal response.

If someone asks you what you deem to be inane or stupid questions, especially on a frequent basis, by all means have a conversation about it. Tell them how much it frustrates you, why and what you want. To ignore a person because you decided what they said or asked isn't worth answering is toxic and rude.

DoesMaryNotDrive · 29/12/2023 14:14

Bells2323 · 29/12/2023 13:59

Had a shower in the morning and the went into the bathroom an hour later. DH asked if I was having a shower, I didn’t reply because he should have know I had a shower earlier in the morning.
The Lack of attention just made me upset, and I thought “if he can’t be bothered to remember / pay attention then I won’t answer him.”

I think this is the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Do you generally feel unseen and unnoticed by him?

When I come out if the shower DH often loves to smell me and kiss me, and I do the same to him. Men are the most attractive when they come out of the shower fresh and clean and slightly damp with maybe a dab of cologne.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 29/12/2023 14:17

Bells2323 · 29/12/2023 13:59

Had a shower in the morning and the went into the bathroom an hour later. DH asked if I was having a shower, I didn’t reply because he should have know I had a shower earlier in the morning.
The Lack of attention just made me upset, and I thought “if he can’t be bothered to remember / pay attention then I won’t answer him.”

Right, now you really do sound ridiculous! Lack of attention?!? Should he be monitoring your every move so he knows exactly what you did all day? I genuinely couldn’t give a shit if my DH noticed if I have had a shower. I might laugh at his dopeyness if he forgot I’d had one when he was in the next room at the time or I had already mentioned it but that would be it. This is really not worth your rudeness by ignoring him which led to the argument.

IncompleteSenten · 29/12/2023 14:19

Bells2323 · 29/12/2023 13:59

Had a shower in the morning and the went into the bathroom an hour later. DH asked if I was having a shower, I didn’t reply because he should have know I had a shower earlier in the morning.
The Lack of attention just made me upset, and I thought “if he can’t be bothered to remember / pay attention then I won’t answer him.”

Ok. On the face of it that is exceptionally childish of you.
Is this one of those situations where the thing you're saying you're mad about isn't actually what's really making you angry?
What's really going on?

GalileoHumpkins · 29/12/2023 14:19

Bells2323 · 29/12/2023 13:59

Had a shower in the morning and the went into the bathroom an hour later. DH asked if I was having a shower, I didn’t reply because he should have know I had a shower earlier in the morning.
The Lack of attention just made me upset, and I thought “if he can’t be bothered to remember / pay attention then I won’t answer him.”

There has to be way more to this because being upset that he didn't remember that you had a shower is beyond pathetic.

CarrotCake01 · 29/12/2023 14:20

Y'all have problems OP... 🤦🏼‍♀️

369damnshesfine · 29/12/2023 14:20

Bloody hell your update is even worse.

You are actually coming across as an abusive partner.

There are not many men I feel sorry for on MN but I feel very sorry for your DP and he needs to get out of this relationship as fast as he can.

Fannyfiggs · 29/12/2023 14:22

HelenHerriott · 29/12/2023 12:36

So you had a bath at 11 then you went into the shower then you went back into the bath at 12?

he should have know that I wasn’t having a bath as I had one in the morning

I’m confused. Can someone explain ?

This reminds me of the t-rexing thread 😂

Edited

This reminds me of the t-rexing thread

Haha totally. I love that thread, and completely understood it (like I did this one). I don't know what that says about me 😂

deflatedbirthday · 29/12/2023 14:24

Good grief. You'd not survive a nanosecond in our house! I can't remember my own name half the time let alone whether DH had a shower at some point that day. I must not love him enough...

Nanny0gg · 29/12/2023 14:24

Bells2323 · 29/12/2023 13:59

Had a shower in the morning and the went into the bathroom an hour later. DH asked if I was having a shower, I didn’t reply because he should have know I had a shower earlier in the morning.
The Lack of attention just made me upset, and I thought “if he can’t be bothered to remember / pay attention then I won’t answer him.”

Really?

I think there needs to be some growing up done here

Or are you always ignored?

VoiceOfCommonSense · 29/12/2023 14:42

Yeah sounds ignorant and petty on your part. You should have just answered him FFS

mumsytoon · 29/12/2023 14:57

Lack of attention? How ridiculous!

VainAbigail · 29/12/2023 15:50

The Lack of attention just made me upset

If only you had paid attention to your details when writing your op and replies, no one here would be so confused.

369damnshesfine · 29/12/2023 15:55

VainAbigail · 29/12/2023 15:50

The Lack of attention just made me upset

If only you had paid attention to your details when writing your op and replies, no one here would be so confused.

😁😁

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 29/12/2023 16:01

Bells2323 · 29/12/2023 13:59

Had a shower in the morning and the went into the bathroom an hour later. DH asked if I was having a shower, I didn’t reply because he should have know I had a shower earlier in the morning.
The Lack of attention just made me upset, and I thought “if he can’t be bothered to remember / pay attention then I won’t answer him.”

Putting the childishness aside for a second...

Has it occurred to you that he HAD noticed you'd already had a shower, and was therefore confused as to why you were going for a second one, hence him asking?

Childishness back in play now....grow up and communicate like normal, functioning adults. Are you having a bath? No dear, just need the loo, did you need to be in here?. Much better than ignoring and then him being pissed off at being ignored and so shouting and then you shouting that he should know exactly what your intentions are when you enter any room.

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