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AIBU?

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Original poster

Argument with DH over a bath

165 replies

Bells2323 · 29/12/2023 12:27

Just had a screaming match with my DH and I want to know if I am being unreasonable or not.

I had a bath in the morning around 11. He was in the bedroom as I having a shower.
At 12 I went into the bath again, and he asked again if I was having a bath. I didn’t answer, he asked again and I didn’t answer because he should have know that I wasn’t having a bath as I had one in the morning.

When I came into the bedroom, he started shouting at me for not answering and I started shouting at him for asking, what I think is a stupid question. He said he didn’t remember; I think he didn’t remember but was asking just to annoy me.
He went downstairs, muttering to himself about me.

OP posts:
MILTOBE · 29/12/2023 12:41

Well he was probably in his own world when you had a shower, thinking about other things, and didn't notice you'd had a shower.

If you think that's worrying then you shouldn't ignore his question.

ReindeerShelter · 29/12/2023 12:41

YABVU. You were really rude to ignore him and you need to apologise.

JenniferJuniper80 · 29/12/2023 12:41

Yabvvu. It would have saved you both the screaming match if you'd just replied with "no Ive had a shower when I got up"

You sound immature and a bit unhinged, both of you.

gannett · 29/12/2023 12:42

Bells2323 · 29/12/2023 12:38

Sorry, I had a shower at 11am. At 12, I went into the bathroom again, DH asked if I was having a bath/ shower or not. I didn’t answer because he knew I had a shower at 11am, so why ask me if I am having another shower when I am obviously not.

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Would saying "no" have been too strenuous? Do you hate speaking t o your husband that much?

Even if you think someone's asked a stupid question, it's extremely rude to just ignore them.

Nanny0gg · 29/12/2023 12:43

Bells2323 · 29/12/2023 12:38

Sorry, I had a shower at 11am. At 12, I went into the bathroom again, DH asked if I was having a bath/ shower or not. I didn’t answer because he knew I had a shower at 11am, so why ask me if I am having another shower when I am obviously not.

Show quote history

Is there more to it? Because this is ridiculous

Jacfrost · 29/12/2023 12:44

Yes, yabu.

When your DH asked if you were having a bath the normal response would have been "no, I had a shower earlier". Not a screaming match.

There must be more to this - do you feel like this is symptomatic of him not paying attention to you in general or something? Does he often ignore you?

IncompleteSenten · 29/12/2023 12:45

Why didn't you just say no I'm not?
There must surely be a huge backstory here because otherwise it's completely ridiculous.

ManateeFair · 29/12/2023 12:46

You both sound like a pair of awful, petty children

Noseybookworm · 29/12/2023 12:47

Sounds like you both need to grow up 🤷‍♀️ honestly, who's got the energy to argue about crap like this? You were rude and unreasonable to ignore him which was unnecessary.

Shouldershoulder · 29/12/2023 12:47

I thought you said you had a bath at 11 , not a shower. Even you're confused, so it's no wonder your husband asked.

trulyunruly01 · 29/12/2023 12:47

I would be furious if my dh took the view that if his answer to something was No, then he didn't have to bother responding at all.
It sounds like you were already harbouring some sulky grudgy feeling towards him.
Although in this house a question like that would bring sarcasm to the fore "are you insinuating that I have a problem? Maybe separate beds would solve that one".
But I am not living with the enemy.

CaineRaine · 29/12/2023 12:48

Bells2323 · 29/12/2023 12:27

Just had a screaming match with my DH and I want to know if I am being unreasonable or not.

I had a bath in the morning around 11. He was in the bedroom as I having a shower.
At 12 I went into the bath again, and he asked again if I was having a bath. I didn’t answer, he asked again and I didn’t answer because he should have know that I wasn’t having a bath as I had one in the morning.

When I came into the bedroom, he started shouting at me for not answering and I started shouting at him for asking, what I think is a stupid question. He said he didn’t remember; I think he didn’t remember but was asking just to annoy me.
He went downstairs, muttering to himself about me.

I think you need to work on your communication OP as your first post reads as if you had a bath, a shower and then another bath 😂 You were rude not to answer him.

AutumnFroglets · 29/12/2023 12:48

If fucking annoys me when people don't answer a simple question.

Why didn't you answer him? It only required a yes or no answer.

NutellaRose · 29/12/2023 12:49

You both sound a bit cuckoo, to be honest....👀

kitsuneghost · 29/12/2023 12:49

What the heck was wrong with just saying no, I already had my bath.
Deliberately ignoring someone because you think it's a daft question is just rude and weird

mrsclaus1984 · 29/12/2023 12:49

I’m sorry, I hate to be that person but I did struggle to make sense of your initial post! Could you possibly rewrite it please, OP, explaining exactly how many times you had a bath because I’m totally confused right now!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 29/12/2023 12:50

Why not simply answer your dh’s question, @Bells2323? It is rude to ignore someone when they ask you something, even if you think they should know the answer. It would have cost you absolutely nothing to have replied to him, and would have avoided an unnecessary row.

JMSA · 29/12/2023 12:51

No way can this be for real!
No one can be as nuts as this.

DappledThings · 29/12/2023 12:51

I had a bath in the morning around 11. He was in the bedroom as I having a shower.
At 12 I went into the bath again
I think this is meant to say:
I had a shower in the morning around 11. He was in the bedroom as I having a shower.
At 12 I went into the bathroom again

Babyblackbear78 · 29/12/2023 12:52

You are really weird and sounds like you were spoiling for an argument. Just say no I had one earlier. 7 similar words, 23 letter of the alphabet, less than 2 seconds of speech….

Universalsnail · 29/12/2023 12:52

You are being massively unreasonable and incredibly childish to think it's completely fine to ignore your DHs question about whether you were having a bath or not. That's so rude. Sure he knew you had a bath at 11 but maybe he was momentarily not thinking. He's not the first person to ask a question without thinking it through.

He shouldn't have started shouting at you but you were incredibly rude.
Your relationship sounds really immature and unhealthy tbh.

AnotherDayAnotherDoller · 29/12/2023 12:54

OP you purposely ignored him asking you a question, more than once. It's very rude, regardless of how stupid you feel the question is.
He asked a simple question, you could have simply answered.

AffableApple · 29/12/2023 12:55

Do you have a nice house in the area of the country I'm looking to buy in? Because you could be the divorcing couple I'm waiting for in the new year. This thread is cray cray.

Borth · 29/12/2023 12:58

I can’t answer this I would like to without it being deleted so YABU.

TheFifthTellytubby · 29/12/2023 12:58

DappledThings · 29/12/2023 12:51

I had a bath in the morning around 11. He was in the bedroom as I having a shower.
At 12 I went into the bath again
I think this is meant to say:
I had a shower in the morning around 11. He was in the bedroom as I having a shower.
At 12 I went into the bathroom again

This. If this post is typical of how the OP communicates in general, it's hardly surprising that confusion and arguments ensue!