Argument with DH over a bath

YABU

takes a second to say ‘no’

I think there is confusion here because @Bells2323 is sometimes saying bath when she means bathroom. So she had a bath, then a shower, and then went back into the bathroom, and that is when her dh asked her if she was having a bath.

Regardless, I think she was rude to ignore the question he asked her not once, but twice.

I have never met anyone who uses it interchangeably, hut can see why if you’re not a native English speaker you might.

But OP clearly did think it was an inane question. If she did need extra bathing then she wouldn’t have minded answering him.

If someone continually asks inane questions then it’s difficult to even respond with a yes or a no out of frustration.

Relatively normal conversations here:

He hears the shower running in the brief periods where he doesn't have headphones on and is paying attention to something other than his computer, phone or guitars

Two hours later, he notices the water is running 'Are you having a bath?'

Answer 1: The cat's had a litterbox accident.
'Oh, yuck, I'll get some towels - do I need to get the carpet cleaner out whilst you deal with her?'.

Answer 2: Yes, I was doing the plants earlier.
'Do you want a cup of tea brought up?'.

Answer 3: I had a shower earlier.
'Oh, right, I thought you were just doing your hair. Shall I do lunch for when you come out?'

Answer 4: Already had one.
'Oh, right, I didn't notice. Tea?'

Answer 5: Yep (with face like thunder)
'Do you need snacks and sympathy when you come out?'.

But I suppose that's what happens when you aren't already in a dysfunctional relationship heading for divorce.

Regardless of whether you deem a question to be stupid or not, it's extremely rude to blatantly ignore someone. He asked you a simple question, you could, and should, have given him a simple answer. YABU.

You’re unreasonable. I don’t necessarily know when my teens go in the shower and even if I heard the shower at 11, doesn’t mean I’d remember that insignificant event at 12. Just answer - no, I had one at 11. He’s unreasonable shouting at you, but all so unnecessary

Just ruddy answer him, I hate being ignored, what’s the point? Would it kill you to answer the bloke?

If you presented yourself like this I would say yabu. Don't have a clue what any of your post means.

Ignoring someone asking you a direct question is the worst. At best its rude but to be honest its actually really disrespectful and controling. You caused the argument. You shouldnt be screaming at each other.

@mumda the draw isn't until Monday is it?

OP - you seem confused about how many baths/showers you've had. I'm certainly confused. Maybe you need to chill a bit?

Mumbai actually tuesday

You don't like him much, do you? No matter how irritating a question is, it's rude to just ignore it. At the very least you could have told him you'd already showered - what would it have cost you?

I can't believe you felt such pathetic behaviour warranted starting a thread on here.

You were both unreasonable.

You were very rude not to answer in the first place and the screaming and shouting that resulted was totally unnecessary and OTT. Is this how you normally carry on? It sounds exhausting.

Maybe neither of you are ready for an adult relationship yet.

Sometimes when my family appears nuts , someone like this comes along 🤣.

Thank you OP. Posts like this always remind me how fortunate I am to be in a loving, happy marriage, instead of whatever the fuck this mess is.

I had a bath in the morning around 11. He was in the bedroom as I having a shower
At 12 I went into the bath again, and he asked again if I was having a bath. I didn’t answer, he asked again and I didn’t answer because he should have know that I wasn’t having a bath as I had one in the morning

Your OP made no sense whatsoever. I see in a later post you said you had a shower at 11. Why use shower/bath interchangeably and then add to the confusion by saying bath when you mean bathroom.
I don't normally like to pick people up on the way they write as there can be lots of reasons for posts not being clearly written but in this case, if this is the typical standard of your communication, it is little wonder that arguments arise.

I think you were being ridiculous quite frankly. Why not just say "No, I had my shower earlier". What is the point of all this pettiness "He should have known that I wasn't having a bath/shower as I had on in the morning"? Do partners really keep track of each other's personal habits/hygiene routines like this?

The day isn't over yet...there could be many more washes before it is.

Wait what??? Isn't Agent Million day nye? And even if it is today they don't tend to come until afternoon/ early evening I think. Though of course they are coming to me anyway I hope!?

OP, kindly, I think you were both unreasonable, but it seems to me that something else must've preceded this situation? It might be worth it to get some outside help to work on your communication if something this minor tends to escalate this badly. If this is a one-off, I feel like asking if the two of your are under any other kind of pressure? Exploding into a screaming match because one person asks another if they're about to take a bath is not healthy. It seems to suggest that either the communication in your marriage has broken down completely, or one or both of you are extremely stressed out a d therefore reacting badly to a very minor miscommunication.

It's ridiculous. Why are you expecting him to remember whether you had a shower or not?

What else is going on? This is a complete overreaction to something trivial. What's the backstory? What else has he forgotten which has pissed you off?

Oh good lord.

I want your relationship. It sounds lovely