Page 4 | Inappropriate ambulance ride

Mooshamoo · 2023-11-15T13:21:43+00:00

I couldn't get up out of bed two days ago. I woke up with a really bad back. Every step that I took was agony. I couldn't move off the couch to even get into my car, to go to the doctors. I waited a couple of days to rest my back, it didn't get any better, I called the doctor and she advised me to get an ambulance to bring me to a+e. The ambulance arrived. I could barely walk. The paramedics were two men in their fifties. They were totally unprofessional. They were laughing and joking and rude. I think the way they treated me was absolutely shocking. They sat me in a chair in the ambulance. First of all they were asking me where the pain was. I said that it was in my lower back. The first man said "ah it is probably tight arse syndrome. You probanly have a tight arse hahahaha. Well You're not getting any younger are you? How old are you?" I said that I'm in late thirties . He said "see youre not getting any younger. You probanly have a tight arse. I'm old myself". Then he came right up to me and said these exact words. "Im old , I have rust on my undercarriage ". Talking about his genitals. Isn't that shocking. Then the second guy asked me "are you married.". I said "no". The first guy said to the other guy "ah Jim you should ask her for her number then hahahaha". The second guy said "no I wont". And then he said to me "he is always trying to set me up with people". He didn't seem to realise that it is completely inappropriate to ever try to set up a paramedic colleague with a female patient who is alone, vulnerable, in pain, in the back of an ambulance. All the while this "banter" was going on I was sitting there in a lot of pain, feeling a bit nervous. The first paramedic then gave me some pain relief that I had to inhale. He asked me "do you drink". I said "occasionally". He said "how often". I said "about once a month". He said "this medication will be like a free night out for you hahahaha". "You'll have a good time on this". He then shouted at me about the way I was holding the pain relief thing. He said "no don't hold it that way, oh for god sake I'll put it on you, I'm getting fed up with you". Because you had to loop a part of it around your hand. I was at this stage worried about taking anything that would make me a bit lightheaded in front of them Then I inhaled it. And the paramedic said to the other paramedic "ah you can tell that she's done this before ahhhahahaha" . I wasn't laughing back at this. And the second paramedic glared at me and said "she's a very serious girl". I was thinking "of course I'm serious and not having a hilarious laugh, I'm in pain, in the back of an ambulance!". They were so unprofessional it was shocking. When we got to the hospital, the first guy wheeled me in, brought me to the nurse and said "here is this one with back pain. Wait till I tell you - she asked me in the ambulance to go for a drink with her after this ahaha".I said "no I didn't". The nurse said "is he telling fibs". And rolled her eyes a little bit. They were absolutely shocking. I couldn't believe the two of them

myotherkidisacassowary · 15/11/2023 15:38

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Just because you like being harassed by misogynists doesn’t mean OP is unreasonable for having higher standards.

SleepyRich · 15/11/2023 18:37

The cctv won't be voice activated, nothing in the health service is that high tech.

In what you describe there would be no reason for them to touch it. Some ambulances play a recording that cctv is present when you open the door so that's probably what you heard.

The cctv is not there to protect the patient, its only there to protect staff and cannot be accessed for anything other than that reason. It will save the footage if the crew press one of the buttons, when you hit it it saves the previous 30s until you turn it off again.

It's not recording all the time as most people wouldn't want the assessment recorded, plus they'd need to have a method for storing all the footage and the gdpr that goes with it. It would be very expensive and I know I wouldn't want to have a video camera above me all day would you want one above you at work all the time?!

That's if it's the same as the UK system of course.

HollaHolla · 15/11/2023 19:11

The language and approaches to you were inappropriate, OP. However, I think you may be getting yourself more wound up about it by continuing to engage with this thread. (But, your call, of course.)

I can understand that they may have thought you were potentially being excessive by calling an ambulance for a painful back for a few days, without any other worrying symptoms (loss of feeling/bladder/bowel control - which can signify cauda equina.) I've had this, and was treated with far more care and respect by ambulance crews, when I had to be transferred hospitals, than I did from the A&E nursing staff!

Anyway..... you were in pain, and vulnerable. You were spoken to in a way that crossed the line. I think taking a deep breath, and writing it down, factually, might help you here. You write exactly what was said "rust on the undercarriage" may not actually be about his penis, as you are assuming, for example.
I am absolutely not minimising how you feel in this situation, but you do need to be factual, and not include any histrionics.

Original poster

Mooshamoo · 15/11/2023 19:21

HollaHolla · 15/11/2023 19:11

The language and approaches to you were inappropriate, OP. However, I think you may be getting yourself more wound up about it by continuing to engage with this thread. (But, your call, of course.)

I can understand that they may have thought you were potentially being excessive by calling an ambulance for a painful back for a few days, without any other worrying symptoms (loss of feeling/bladder/bowel control - which can signify cauda equina.) I've had this, and was treated with far more care and respect by ambulance crews, when I had to be transferred hospitals, than I did from the A&E nursing staff!

Anyway..... you were in pain, and vulnerable. You were spoken to in a way that crossed the line. I think taking a deep breath, and writing it down, factually, might help you here. You write exactly what was said "rust on the undercarriage" may not actually be about his penis, as you are assuming, for example.
I am absolutely not minimising how you feel in this situation, but you do need to be factual, and not include any histrionics.

He didn't say "rust on the undercarriage".

He said "I have rust on my undercarriage"

It wasn't my idea to call an ambulance. I was going to struggle on for a few more days. And see if it improved.

It is not just bad back pain. I am unable to move in any direction, get off the couch, or take one single step without screaming in agony. The pain is absolutely horrendous. This has never happened to me before. I rang my doctor, after hearing my symptoms she advised me to call an ambulance straight away and to go into a and e

The ambulance brought me in a wheelchair into a+ e and they gave me morphine in a+e because I was in such pain, the doctor said I was right to go in. They kept me in overnight and monitored me . Sometimes you do have to go into a and e with severe back pain .

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Original poster

Mooshamoo · 15/11/2023 19:24

He said "i am old, I have rust on my undercarriage". As he was talking about himself, he was talking about him being old, when he said "i have rust on my undercarriage" that was definitely talking about his body

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RecoveringBorderlineIsBack · 15/11/2023 19:28

What a pair of twats! I'm sorry you had to go through that @Mooshamoo

Wordsmithery · 15/11/2023 20:18

It's sad that so many people here seem to disbelieve OP. I believe we should always assume a woman is telling the truth about situations such as these. We all see the news and hear the stats about sex crimes, and are aware that many many incidents go unreported. It follows that many less serious events also take place - so does it really come as a surprise that some paramedics speak inappropriately to patients?
OP, you really should report this if you possibly can. They won't necessarily lose their jobs (especially with no CCTV) but they will get spoken to and may just think twice next time.

Original poster

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 10:44

I'm still in desperately bad back pain too. It's so awful.

When I went in to a and e the doctor said that it sounded like nerve damage. Then they sent me for am X ray which wouldn't show any nerve damage.

She said that I needed an MRI which would show nerve damage/disc damage. But she said she couldnt send me for an MRI because she could only send me for an MRI if she was going to recommend me for surgery right then.

So they did no MRI. They just gave me painkillers and sent me home.

It feels like something is moving in my back
It feels like I have a slipped disc. I fell off a ladder earlier in the year so maybe I did the damage then

God I'd do anything to be out of pain and to be able to walk one step without pain. It's scary.

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Littlecatonthefence · 16/11/2023 10:47

The first paramedic then gave me some pain relief that I had to inhale. He asked me "do you drink". I said "occasionally". He said "how often". I said "about once a month". He said "this medication will be like a free night out for you hahahaha". "You'll have a good time on this".

This is the only part that i would say it absolutely fine and lighthearted BUT the rest is awful OP and i would complain

CaroleSinger · 16/11/2023 10:56

Mooshamoo · 15/11/2023 13:30

I'm sad that people find it hard to believe when it absolutely did happen, and I had to suffer through their vile behaviour.

They were utterly disgusting.

I don't think that's a judgement on you. More utter disbelief that paramedics would actually behave so inappropriately. Clearly it should be reported.

Original poster

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 11:03

CaroleSinger · 16/11/2023 10:56

I don't think that's a judgement on you. More utter disbelief that paramedics would actually behave so inappropriately. Clearly it should be reported.

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That's the thing. Some women have the incorrect belief that because a man is wearing a professional uniform, that he can't be a pervert/abuser/sexual predator.

When there have been many, many accounts in the past of men in uniform abusing women.

Remember the doctor who sexually abused all the teenage gymnasts in the USA. One of the gymnasts said that she hurt her knee and back very badly, and while she was lying their on the bed in pain, the doctor sexually abused her.

Remember the surgeon who orally raped women in surgery. That sounds utterly unbelievable.yet it did happen.

Some men target women when they are at their weakest and most vulnerable.

I actually think that some men (definitely not all but some) go into the medical profession to be able to touch and abuse women.

There should be procedures put in place in ambulances to protect women.

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SurvivingNotThriving · 16/11/2023 11:08

OP, I'm so sorry you endured this, especially at a time when you were at your most vulnerable. This wasn't 'banter': banter would be funny for everyone involved, including you. This was nasty. If you decide to complain, I hope it's taken seriously.

(Also I hope that your back is getting better.)

Musicaltheatremum · 16/11/2023 11:13

Mooshamoo · 15/11/2023 13:47

There is something extremely extremely sad about coming on here, and saying I was verbally abused in the back of an ambulance, and having several women say "that didn't happen".

I hope it doesn't ever happen to you that you are alone, in pain in a back of an ambulance, and you have two big burly men sneering and laughing at you, and saying things about their genitals.

I hate what those men did.

My son in laws brother is a trainee paramedic and he was joking about a similarly horrible story about what they did and said to a patient...thought it was very funny. My daughter and sil challenged him on it. He thought he had done no wrong. Disgusting. I believe you. Please report.

Original poster

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 11:18

Musicaltheatremum · 16/11/2023 11:13

My son in laws brother is a trainee paramedic and he was joking about a similarly horrible story about what they did and said to a patient...thought it was very funny. My daughter and sil challenged him on it. He thought he had done no wrong. Disgusting. I believe you. Please report.

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What did he say and do to the patient?

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Original poster

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 12:28

I thought it was bad enough being abused by two ambulance men.

But when I came on here and said that two ambulance men abused me , and women said "that didn't happen".

I've honestly never felt as low in my life, as I did last night. I just think it's absolutely unbelievable that women can say to another woman about her abuse story "that didn't happen".

I often feel that it is women in society that help men to keep their abuse going.

If a woman says she is raped or sexually abused, you often don't see other women being kind to her, you usually see women turning on the woman and abusing her in the afermath.

Women can be utterly utterly evil.

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HollaHolla · 16/11/2023 12:38

Without being too outing, I am involved in Fitness to Practice cases for students on healthcare programmes.
Overwhelmingly, cases are thrown out, because there is a lack of evidence, sadly. So, I would stress to you again, OP, write it all down, absolutely factually. Then, you can add how it made you feel. I'm not disbelieving you at all - I am trying to offer you practical advice. You need to be able to present a full account, and not be unsure about anything that happened/was said.

For example:
I entered the ambulance at XX time.
Paramedic 1 said "hello; oh dear, you look like you're in a lot of pain."
Paramedic 2 said "do you drink - you'll like this", then handed me the inhaler for the XX drug, and asked me to breathe it in. Paramedic 2 then said "XXX...."
See what I mean?

You then add a statement on how this made you feel:
"I was made to feel unsafe, due to the behaviour of Paramedic 2, who insinuated that he was talking about his sexual organs, when he commented on 'rust on his undercarriage'. I was shocked that a professional would speak in this way. I felt vulnerable, and was concerned......"

Having this account written, whilst it's fresh in your mind, would mean it's better for if you make a complaint.

In addition, I'm sorry to hear about your back. You will no doubt need an MRI, if it doesn't resolve. It was good news that they didn't consider it enough of an emergency to need one right then, as there are specific symptoms which require that. I would caution you on jumping straight to surgical resolution, unless it becomes an emergency (cauda equina/foot drop/etc.), as these types of back injury often self resolve in a few weeks. I know it's super painful, and you feel like it will never get better, but take it from someone who has had four spinal surgeries - including a fusion at three levels - the recovery is not guaranteed that way; and if you can find a good physio to start treatment now, I would suggest you discuss that as an option.
BUT - discuss this all with your Dr. Everyone's back is different, and I can only give you my experience.

Original poster

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 13:18

I was writing it down and I just remembered something else that they said.

He gave me a pain reliever to inhale and he told me to suck on it.

I sucked on it and he smirked at me and he said to the other man "you can tell that shes done that before" . About me sucking.

I feel so utterly violated

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Original poster

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 13:22

HollaHolla · 16/11/2023 12:38

Without being too outing, I am involved in Fitness to Practice cases for students on healthcare programmes.
Overwhelmingly, cases are thrown out, because there is a lack of evidence, sadly. So, I would stress to you again, OP, write it all down, absolutely factually. Then, you can add how it made you feel. I'm not disbelieving you at all - I am trying to offer you practical advice. You need to be able to present a full account, and not be unsure about anything that happened/was said.

For example:
I entered the ambulance at XX time.
Paramedic 1 said "hello; oh dear, you look like you're in a lot of pain."
Paramedic 2 said "do you drink - you'll like this", then handed me the inhaler for the XX drug, and asked me to breathe it in. Paramedic 2 then said "XXX...."
See what I mean?

You then add a statement on how this made you feel:
"I was made to feel unsafe, due to the behaviour of Paramedic 2, who insinuated that he was talking about his sexual organs, when he commented on 'rust on his undercarriage'. I was shocked that a professional would speak in this way. I felt vulnerable, and was concerned......"

Having this account written, whilst it's fresh in your mind, would mean it's better for if you make a complaint.

In addition, I'm sorry to hear about your back. You will no doubt need an MRI, if it doesn't resolve. It was good news that they didn't consider it enough of an emergency to need one right then, as there are specific symptoms which require that. I would caution you on jumping straight to surgical resolution, unless it becomes an emergency (cauda equina/foot drop/etc.), as these types of back injury often self resolve in a few weeks. I know it's super painful, and you feel like it will never get better, but take it from someone who has had four spinal surgeries - including a fusion at three levels - the recovery is not guaranteed that way; and if you can find a good physio to start treatment now, I would suggest you discuss that as an option.
BUT - discuss this all with your Dr. Everyone's back is different, and I can only give you my experience.

Thanks for that advice.

She didn't say it wasn't enough of an emergency for me to get an MRI. She told me they were short staffed, and that she didn't like to do an MRI for the first time someobe goes in with back pain. She said that as they were short staffed they wouldn't be able to do an MRI.

The thing us I had two falls about three months ago. I fell of a stepladder and then I fell halfway down a stairs . I feel like I've damaged something in my back. The pain is excruciating. It feels like something is moving in my back . I can't walk. Tingling is going up and down my left leg aswell. I wish they'd done an MRI just to see what's going on. I'm going to have to go back to the doctor next week

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Original poster

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 13:23

SurvivingNotThriving · 16/11/2023 11:08

OP, I'm so sorry you endured this, especially at a time when you were at your most vulnerable. This wasn't 'banter': banter would be funny for everyone involved, including you. This was nasty. If you decide to complain, I hope it's taken seriously.

(Also I hope that your back is getting better.)

Edited

Thank you.

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thesurrealist · 16/11/2023 13:31

I'd like to agree, but unfortunately it is all too true of many paramedics I've met both professionally and personally.

If they are half as disgusting and judgemental towards patients as they are behind their backs, then if they were any other HCP group they would be struck off.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 16/11/2023 13:34

That is disgusting I get sometimes they might joke " entonox is like having a couple of drinks" kind of thing but that's actually quite intimidating when you're in pain
Personally I think it's incorrect to sit you in a chair with back pain
If you'd slipped a disc it could cause more damage
Definitely complain

honeyytoast · 16/11/2023 13:35

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Christ

honeyytoast · 16/11/2023 13:38

Is a thread about sexual intimidation the right place to troll hunt? Just quietly report, no need to perpetuate the culture of not believing victims

HollaHolla · 16/11/2023 13:55

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 13:22

Thanks for that advice.

She didn't say it wasn't enough of an emergency for me to get an MRI. She told me they were short staffed, and that she didn't like to do an MRI for the first time someobe goes in with back pain. She said that as they were short staffed they wouldn't be able to do an MRI.

The thing us I had two falls about three months ago. I fell of a stepladder and then I fell halfway down a stairs . I feel like I've damaged something in my back. The pain is excruciating. It feels like something is moving in my back . I can't walk. Tingling is going up and down my left leg aswell. I wish they'd done an MRI just to see what's going on. I'm going to have to go back to the doctor next week

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I'm assuming they told you what symptoms constitute an emergency with your back, OP? Please read up on those - numbness between legs, problems with bowel or bladder are the main ones. Familiarise yourself with Cauda Equina. This is a real emergency, and needs surgical resolution within 24-48 hours. You take yourself to A&E if these arise, as they can become permanent.

Original poster

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 13:59

HollaHolla · 16/11/2023 13:55

I'm assuming they told you what symptoms constitute an emergency with your back, OP? Please read up on those - numbness between legs, problems with bowel or bladder are the main ones. Familiarise yourself with Cauda Equina. This is a real emergency, and needs surgical resolution within 24-48 hours. You take yourself to A&E if these arise, as they can become permanent.

Show quote history

No the doctor didnt talk to me about me, she just said thst she wouldn't be able to do the MRI as they were short staffed.

She just said that they were very short staffed and she also said that as I had gone into hospital later in the evening, after 6pm, it would be even more difficult for her to request an MRI for me, as the staff that could do it had gone home.

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