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Inappropriate ambulance ride

283 replies

Mooshamoo · 15/11/2023 13:21

I couldn't get up out of bed two days ago. I woke up with a really bad back. Every step that I took was agony.

I couldn't move off the couch to even get into my car, to go to the doctors. I waited a couple of days to rest my back, it didn't get any better, I called the doctor and she advised me to get an ambulance to bring me to a+e.

The ambulance arrived. I could barely walk. The paramedics were two men in their fifties. They were totally unprofessional. They were laughing and joking and rude.

I think the way they treated me was absolutely shocking.

They sat me in a chair in the ambulance. First of all they were asking me where the pain was. I said that it was in my lower back.

The first man said "ah it is probably tight arse syndrome. You probanly have a tight arse hahahaha.
Well You're not getting any younger are you? How old are you?"

I said that I'm in late thirties
.
He said "see youre not getting any younger. You probanly have a tight arse. I'm old myself".

Then he came right up to me and said these exact words.

"Im old , I have rust on my undercarriage ".

Talking about his genitals. Isn't that shocking.

Then the second guy asked me "are you married.". I said "no".

The first guy said to the other guy "ah Jim you should ask her for her number then hahahaha".

The second guy said "no I wont". And then he said to me "he is always trying to set me up with people".

He didn't seem to realise that it is completely inappropriate to ever try to set up a paramedic colleague with a female patient who is alone, vulnerable, in pain, in the back of an ambulance.

All the while this "banter" was going on I was sitting there in a lot of pain, feeling a bit nervous.

The first paramedic then gave me some pain relief that I had to inhale. He asked me "do you drink". I said "occasionally". He said "how often". I said "about once a month". He said "this medication will be like a free night out for you hahahaha". "You'll have a good time on this".

He then shouted at me about the way I was holding the pain relief thing. He said "no don't hold it that way, oh for god sake I'll put it on you, I'm getting fed up with you". Because you had to loop a part of it around your hand.

I was at this stage worried about taking anything that would make me a bit lightheaded in front of them
Then I inhaled it. And the paramedic said to the other paramedic "ah you can tell that she's done this before ahhhahahaha" .

I wasn't laughing back at this. And the second paramedic glared at me and said "she's a very serious girl". I was thinking "of course I'm serious and not having a hilarious laugh, I'm in pain, in the back of an ambulance!". They were so unprofessional it was shocking.

When we got to the hospital, the first guy wheeled me in, brought me to the nurse and said "here is this one with back pain. Wait till I tell you - she asked me in the ambulance to go for a drink with her after this ahaha".I said "no I didn't". The nurse said "is he telling fibs". And rolled her eyes a little bit.

They were absolutely shocking. I couldn't believe the two of them

OP posts:
Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 19:22

YeahIsaidit · 16/11/2023 19:16

You seem to be quite a dramatic person... I agree with pp that you'd maybe benefit from therapy or speaking to someone about anxiety issues? It seems that you think that everyone is out to get you/make you feel bad and have extreme reactions to things you dislike or feel uncomfortable with. It isn't normal to live and feel this way and you need to speak to someone that could help

Oh my god. That's shocking. I do not think that everyone is out to get me. Instead of seeing me at the problem, maybe see the men as the problem?

I just told my nurse friend about what happened.

She said that the paramedics asking for my number is enough for the men to get into serious trouble at work. They broke the code of conduct. It is a serious breach of condict.

She said that paramedics are not allowed to flirt with female patients In the ambulance or or ask for the telephone numbers from female patients.

OP posts:
YeahIsaidit · 16/11/2023 19:30

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 19:22

Oh my god. That's shocking. I do not think that everyone is out to get me. Instead of seeing me at the problem, maybe see the men as the problem?

I just told my nurse friend about what happened.

She said that the paramedics asking for my number is enough for the men to get into serious trouble at work. They broke the code of conduct. It is a serious breach of condict.

She said that paramedics are not allowed to flirt with female patients In the ambulance or or ask for the telephone numbers from female patients.

I think you're letting your own personal feelings cloud judgement on the nature of the behaviour, I'm not saying that is was great but to me and many others it looks like a couple of idiot blokes trying to lighten the situation and it not landing well... Undercarriage doesn't mean penis for a start. Nobody asked for your number, a colleague joked to another about asking for your number to which he declined and said that they're always trying to set him up with people, that was a joke at the paramedic's expense, not yours nor was it an attempt to flirt with you or ask you out, you're being dramatic.

It honestly sounds like blokey joking between colleagues attempting to lighten the mood, it didn't go well but your reaction is entirely over the top.

You seem to find a lot of your interactions with people to be inappropriate be it medical staff, family, estate agents, colleagues... The list goes on.

Either you're the most unlucky woman on the planet or you have anxiety issues that really need checked out

Lovemychair · 16/11/2023 19:33

@Mooshamoo you have 2 options really, either report them, which you say you can't or put it behind you. People on here have agreed that they have been out of order, what else would help you do you think?

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 19:34

YeahIsaidit · 16/11/2023 19:30

I think you're letting your own personal feelings cloud judgement on the nature of the behaviour, I'm not saying that is was great but to me and many others it looks like a couple of idiot blokes trying to lighten the situation and it not landing well... Undercarriage doesn't mean penis for a start. Nobody asked for your number, a colleague joked to another about asking for your number to which he declined and said that they're always trying to set him up with people, that was a joke at the paramedic's expense, not yours nor was it an attempt to flirt with you or ask you out, you're being dramatic.

It honestly sounds like blokey joking between colleagues attempting to lighten the mood, it didn't go well but your reaction is entirely over the top.

You seem to find a lot of your interactions with people to be inappropriate be it medical staff, family, estate agents, colleagues... The list goes on.

Either you're the most unlucky woman on the planet or you have anxiety issues that really need checked out

Undercarriage does mean penis.

He had said previously to that

"My hair is grey" and he showed me his grey hair, and then he came up to me and said "and I also have rust on my undercarriage". Of course he was talking about his pubic hair/ penis.

What would you say undercarriage means then?

I have also said that when we got to the hospital, the nurse in the hospital apologised for his behaviour to me.

So if you're saying that my own personal feelings clouded my judgement, why did the nurse apologised to me for his behaviour then?

She also thought he was wrong.

OP posts:
Lovemychair · 16/11/2023 19:36

I have an under carriage and I don't have a penis.

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 19:39

Lovemychair · 16/11/2023 19:36

I have an under carriage and I don't have a penis.

Undercarriage is a term that is used for male and female genitals.

As he was a man, he was talking about his penis.

Theis is exactly what they said to me

He said to me:

"You have a tight arse, you are old and you are not getting younger.

Then the paramedic said to me

"I'm old aswell, sure my hair is gone grey". And then he lifted up his hat to show me his grey hair.

Then he walked over to me bent down smirked and said "and I also have rust on my undercarriage Ann, haha"

OP posts:
YeahIsaidit · 16/11/2023 19:40

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 19:34

Undercarriage does mean penis.

He had said previously to that

"My hair is grey" and he showed me his grey hair, and then he came up to me and said "and I also have rust on my undercarriage". Of course he was talking about his pubic hair/ penis.

What would you say undercarriage means then?

I have also said that when we got to the hospital, the nurse in the hospital apologised for his behaviour to me.

So if you're saying that my own personal feelings clouded my judgement, why did the nurse apologised to me for his behaviour then?

She also thought he was wrong.

Why is it when anyone dares to say you're overreacting you suddenly remember another "inappropriate" thing that was said or done? How exactly does someone deliberately show you their grey hair? Remove a hat?

Undercarriage means arse, it's widely known... You had a bad lower back, he joked it was an age thing and said his undercarriage was rusty... Ie, kaput/old/not working great... An attempt at empathy, admittedly not a great one

Perhaps the nurse sensed your discomfort and apologised to chill you out?

It's not great that you felt uncomfortable, of course it isn't but it really does look like you're over inflating things and looking for more sympathy than you're getting which isn't very healthy

Lovemychair · 16/11/2023 19:41

Ok , so he said all of that, what would you like to do that would help you get past this?

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 19:42

YeahIsaidit · 16/11/2023 19:30

I think you're letting your own personal feelings cloud judgement on the nature of the behaviour, I'm not saying that is was great but to me and many others it looks like a couple of idiot blokes trying to lighten the situation and it not landing well... Undercarriage doesn't mean penis for a start. Nobody asked for your number, a colleague joked to another about asking for your number to which he declined and said that they're always trying to set him up with people, that was a joke at the paramedic's expense, not yours nor was it an attempt to flirt with you or ask you out, you're being dramatic.

It honestly sounds like blokey joking between colleagues attempting to lighten the mood, it didn't go well but your reaction is entirely over the top.

You seem to find a lot of your interactions with people to be inappropriate be it medical staff, family, estate agents, colleagues... The list goes on.

Either you're the most unlucky woman on the planet or you have anxiety issues that really need checked out

When you're sitting in an ambulance in severe pain, and the paramedic says to you"

"Ah you probably have a tight arse. Sure you're not getting any younger are you! Haha!"

Let me know how hilarious you find it.

When you're in pain , sitting in an ambulance, let me know if you enjoy the "blokey joking" that you think is fine when it happens to someone else

OP posts:
Makemydaypunk · 16/11/2023 19:43

Why is it when anyone dares to say you're overreacting you suddenly remember another "inappropriate" thing that was said or done? How exactly does someone deliberately show you their grey hair? Remove a hat?

Yes the conversation keeps getting more and more embellished every time OP is challenged.

MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 16/11/2023 19:44

YeahIsaidit · 16/11/2023 19:40

Why is it when anyone dares to say you're overreacting you suddenly remember another "inappropriate" thing that was said or done? How exactly does someone deliberately show you their grey hair? Remove a hat?

Undercarriage means arse, it's widely known... You had a bad lower back, he joked it was an age thing and said his undercarriage was rusty... Ie, kaput/old/not working great... An attempt at empathy, admittedly not a great one

Perhaps the nurse sensed your discomfort and apologised to chill you out?

It's not great that you felt uncomfortable, of course it isn't but it really does look like you're over inflating things and looking for more sympathy than you're getting which isn't very healthy

This sadly. I don't think this is healthy or helping you.

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 19:45

YeahIsaidit · 16/11/2023 19:40

Why is it when anyone dares to say you're overreacting you suddenly remember another "inappropriate" thing that was said or done? How exactly does someone deliberately show you their grey hair? Remove a hat?

Undercarriage means arse, it's widely known... You had a bad lower back, he joked it was an age thing and said his undercarriage was rusty... Ie, kaput/old/not working great... An attempt at empathy, admittedly not a great one

Perhaps the nurse sensed your discomfort and apologised to chill you out?

It's not great that you felt uncomfortable, of course it isn't but it really does look like you're over inflating things and looking for more sympathy than you're getting which isn't very healthy

Undercarriage means genitals!

Yes he lifted his hat to show me his grey hair.

I'm still considering whether to report or not. I would like to save other women from going through the same thing. If I don't report it it will happen to someone else again .

OP posts:
YeahIsaidit · 16/11/2023 19:46

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 19:42

When you're sitting in an ambulance in severe pain, and the paramedic says to you"

"Ah you probably have a tight arse. Sure you're not getting any younger are you! Haha!"

Let me know how hilarious you find it.

When you're in pain , sitting in an ambulance, let me know if you enjoy the "blokey joking" that you think is fine when it happens to someone else

I wouldn't be bothered, I'd be more worried about whatever pain I was in and at most throw out an eyeroll if I didn't find something funny. I certainly wouldn't be seeking sympathy from Internet strangers and trying to drag it out with "but what about this"

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 19:48

Makemydaypunk · 16/11/2023 19:43

Why is it when anyone dares to say you're overreacting you suddenly remember another "inappropriate" thing that was said or done? How exactly does someone deliberately show you their grey hair? Remove a hat?

Yes the conversation keeps getting more and more embellished every time OP is challenged.

I don't think anyone would write down word for word an entire conversation in their opening post.

I haven't even written down all that they said to me. They said more to me than what I've written down

They said more to me than what I've written, but I haven't written it all out, as it would take ages for me to write it.

I wrote some of the things they said to me in the op. They said a lot more to me than that.

OP posts:
Lovemychair · 16/11/2023 19:49

I'm still considering whether to report or not. I would like to save other women from going through the same thing. If I don't report it it will happen to someone else again

So report it then , help your fellow women.

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 19:51

Makemydaypunk · 16/11/2023 19:43

Why is it when anyone dares to say you're overreacting you suddenly remember another "inappropriate" thing that was said or done? How exactly does someone deliberately show you their grey hair? Remove a hat?

Yes the conversation keeps getting more and more embellished every time OP is challenged.

Thanks for that . That's lovely. If some one came on Mumsnet and said that ambulance men verbally abused and harassed her, I don't think I would ever dream of talking to her the way you talked to me
If I didn't believe her (but why wouldn't I believe her) I would probably just say nothing. I certainly wouldn't say anything nasty to her.

OP posts:
Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 19:53

YeahIsaidit · 16/11/2023 19:46

I wouldn't be bothered, I'd be more worried about whatever pain I was in and at most throw out an eyeroll if I didn't find something funny. I certainly wouldn't be seeking sympathy from Internet strangers and trying to drag it out with "but what about this"

You're sitting alone in pain with two ambulance men. They are shouting at you and making rude and inappropriate jokes. I'm sure you would do more than just eyeroll.

Has it ever happened to you? This is one of those things where people can't possibly understand what it is like until it happens to you.

OP posts:
Teder · 16/11/2023 19:54

I always like to believe what people say and I know most women have experienced sexual harassment and assault. I’m unclear what you want from this thread.
You’ve said what happened but you won’t report it. That’s your choice.
What more do you want people to say?

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 19:56

I just told my friend there now about the pain relief bit.

The paramedic told me to suck on pain relief . He shouted "suck it, suck it" at me.

Then when I sucked he smirked at d other guy, and said "you can tell that she has done that before".

My friend said in reply "that is disgusting, the dirty fuckers". She thought they were awful.

OP posts:
MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 16/11/2023 19:57

And has your friend told you to report?

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 19:57

Teder · 16/11/2023 19:54

I always like to believe what people say and I know most women have experienced sexual harassment and assault. I’m unclear what you want from this thread.
You’ve said what happened but you won’t report it. That’s your choice.
What more do you want people to say?

I didn't say I won't report it. The last thing I said Is that "i'm weighing up whether to report it or not"

OP posts:
Lovemychair · 16/11/2023 19:57

I think we've got the picture, what do you think will help you get past this if you're not going to report it? What do you want people to say ?

YeahIsaidit · 16/11/2023 19:58

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 19:53

You're sitting alone in pain with two ambulance men. They are shouting at you and making rude and inappropriate jokes. I'm sure you would do more than just eyeroll.

Has it ever happened to you? This is one of those things where people can't possibly understand what it is like until it happens to you.

A specific incident in an ambulance, no I haven't experienced that. Other things yes, much worse than anything that happened to you on that ambulance trip

Flickersy · 16/11/2023 19:58

How are you managing to have this conversation with your friend when you're posting frequent lengthy posts on here?

YeahIsaidit · 16/11/2023 19:59

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 19:56

I just told my friend there now about the pain relief bit.

The paramedic told me to suck on pain relief . He shouted "suck it, suck it" at me.

Then when I sucked he smirked at d other guy, and said "you can tell that she has done that before".

My friend said in reply "that is disgusting, the dirty fuckers". She thought they were awful.

Midwife shouted suck it at me when I was given gas and air during labour...