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Original poster

Inappropriate ambulance ride

283 replies

Mooshamoo · 15/11/2023 13:21

I couldn't get up out of bed two days ago. I woke up with a really bad back. Every step that I took was agony.

I couldn't move off the couch to even get into my car, to go to the doctors. I waited a couple of days to rest my back, it didn't get any better, I called the doctor and she advised me to get an ambulance to bring me to a+e.

The ambulance arrived. I could barely walk. The paramedics were two men in their fifties. They were totally unprofessional. They were laughing and joking and rude.

I think the way they treated me was absolutely shocking.

They sat me in a chair in the ambulance. First of all they were asking me where the pain was. I said that it was in my lower back.

The first man said "ah it is probably tight arse syndrome. You probanly have a tight arse hahahaha.
Well You're not getting any younger are you? How old are you?"

I said that I'm in late thirties
.
He said "see youre not getting any younger. You probanly have a tight arse. I'm old myself".

Then he came right up to me and said these exact words.

"Im old , I have rust on my undercarriage ".

Talking about his genitals. Isn't that shocking.

Then the second guy asked me "are you married.". I said "no".

The first guy said to the other guy "ah Jim you should ask her for her number then hahahaha".

The second guy said "no I wont". And then he said to me "he is always trying to set me up with people".

He didn't seem to realise that it is completely inappropriate to ever try to set up a paramedic colleague with a female patient who is alone, vulnerable, in pain, in the back of an ambulance.

All the while this "banter" was going on I was sitting there in a lot of pain, feeling a bit nervous.

The first paramedic then gave me some pain relief that I had to inhale. He asked me "do you drink". I said "occasionally". He said "how often". I said "about once a month". He said "this medication will be like a free night out for you hahahaha". "You'll have a good time on this".

He then shouted at me about the way I was holding the pain relief thing. He said "no don't hold it that way, oh for god sake I'll put it on you, I'm getting fed up with you". Because you had to loop a part of it around your hand.

I was at this stage worried about taking anything that would make me a bit lightheaded in front of them
Then I inhaled it. And the paramedic said to the other paramedic "ah you can tell that she's done this before ahhhahahaha" .

I wasn't laughing back at this. And the second paramedic glared at me and said "she's a very serious girl". I was thinking "of course I'm serious and not having a hilarious laugh, I'm in pain, in the back of an ambulance!". They were so unprofessional it was shocking.

When we got to the hospital, the first guy wheeled me in, brought me to the nurse and said "here is this one with back pain. Wait till I tell you - she asked me in the ambulance to go for a drink with her after this ahaha".I said "no I didn't". The nurse said "is he telling fibs". And rolled her eyes a little bit.

They were absolutely shocking. I couldn't believe the two of them

OP posts:
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winetrail · 19/11/2023 12:40

It's accurate alright.
It's not just that forum who have mentioned the posters fables.

Two posts on Tattle last I saw, one possibly yours. I'm on the other forum, and the only, few, regular posters comments are mixing OP up with someone else. It's full of trolls there anyway, Tattle is far more reliable.

The point is that you might feel there are discrepancies but you should report them to Mumsnet. Just in case you're wrong, given the serious nature of subject matter.

I can understand people publicly calling out grief trolls, and begging posts, where people might send money, but not something like this.

Nanny0gg · 19/11/2023 12:24

I may have missed it

Did you report @Mooshamoo ?

DonnaBanana · 19/11/2023 12:18

I believe you 100% because this sort of Carry On/On the Buses level of banter is common in the NHS in my experience (though less extreme than OPs case) with mostly white men and women. It seems to be an attempt at levity but often falls flat on its arse.

allaloneandlost · 19/11/2023 12:10

I've just had a look at what Tattle say about MN and it's just posters poking fun of it. It all seems very childish.

allaloneandlost · 19/11/2023 11:55

BlueEyedPeanut · 19/11/2023 03:48

The NHS has nothing to do with this. This alleged incident wasn't in the UK. And the "vitriol" (aka skepticism) is because of the OP's history. Not because of people's unwavering faith in healthcare workers.

Fair enough, this is outside the UK and not the NHS but whatever the equivalent is in Ireland. I don't know the finer details of that.

But yet again, if people don't believe the OP that's their decision but they can just scroll by instead of piling on and attacking. That's really unnecessary.

Original poster
Mooshamoo · 19/11/2023 10:50

GaggleTheGoose · 19/11/2023 06:51

It's accurate alright.
It's not just that forum who have mentioned the posters fables. 😂

Show quote history

I never heard of tattle until it was mentioned here.

I went to look at it, the first post that I see about Mumsnet is people talking about the horrendous bullying that goes on on mumsnet.

That people pile on ops like vultures. That is what being said on tattle. It's accurate

OP posts:
Original poster
Mooshamoo · 19/11/2023 10:31

BlueEyedPeanut · 19/11/2023 03:48

The NHS has nothing to do with this. This alleged incident wasn't in the UK. And the "vitriol" (aka skepticism) is because of the OP's history. Not because of people's unwavering faith in healthcare workers.

Its got nothing to do with my history. I believe I have said on here on Mumsnet that my estate agent, a doctor, a neighbour, a guy at a meetup, and an ambulance man were inapproproate to me. That is five men
. I'm 39. The guy at the meetup came over to me, hugged me from behind and grabbed my breast. Several other women also complained about him. I'm still annoyed about him too

Many more men have been inappropriate to me that that. And have been far worse to me than that. I wouldnt talk about the worse incidents on here. I mostly talk about the verbal abuse on here.

Many women go through multiple multiple experiences of sexual harassment.

I just asked my aunt there how many times she has dealt with inappropriate men. She said there was too many to tell me them all, but she recalled twenty occasions to me.

She said she was walking down the street and a man stuck his hand up her skirt.
She said that à taxi driver once drove out of the way and parked in a country lane and sexually harassed her.
She said that when she was young, that a doctor was very creepy and inaopropriate to her .
She said in one house that she lived in , that a neighbour stood on a ladder and used to look over the wall at her when she was in the garden

Many many women have multiple experiences of sexual harassment /abuse.

I was just thinking about the last place that I worked in. My female boss told me that she had been at a work conference and a man came up behind her and touched her vagina. At a work conference. It happens so much to people

You're saying that because I have multiple experiences that I'm a liar. I disagree totally. Many women go through multiple incidents I their lifetime.

OP posts:
GaggleTheGoose · 19/11/2023 06:51

winetrail · 18/11/2023 16:43

Grow up. I'm there too, and that's not quite accurate.

Show quote history

It's accurate alright.
It's not just that forum who have mentioned the posters fables. 😂

BlueEyedPeanut · 19/11/2023 03:48

The NHS has nothing to do with this. This alleged incident wasn't in the UK. And the "vitriol" (aka skepticism) is because of the OP's history. Not because of people's unwavering faith in healthcare workers.

allaloneandlost · 18/11/2023 23:44

The fact that posters are continuing to pile on and accusing the OP of lying while themselves twisting things speaks volumes. Oh the irony.

It's not the OP that needs to calm down, it's those of you who are piling on and it's nasty.

I wonder if those doing this are NHS workers or related to them to spout such vitriol? Touched a nerve maybe.

HerbalBovril · 18/11/2023 22:00

Sheesh! Calm down! Apologies if I misread. It’s not an international incident, and I think one could be forgiven for being a little confused by all the back and forth.

winetrail · 18/11/2023 16:43

GaggleTheGoose · 18/11/2023 04:07

Tattle, amongst others know the truth don't they op 🤫

Grow up. I'm there too, and that's not quite accurate.

Original poster
Mooshamoo · 18/11/2023 14:33

HerbalBovril · 18/11/2023 13:53

Just stick to the truth and you’re more likely to be believed. In one post you say you contacted someone and asked her to ask her paramedic husband about the CCTV. Then you say you didn’t ask, she offered, and you agreed. I’m sorry for whatever terrible thing happened. Whatever happened happened. You don’t need to lie about any of it.

Read the thread properly before you accuse someone of lying. What you have said there is completely wrong. I never said that

OP posts:
Original poster
Mooshamoo · 18/11/2023 14:30

HerbalBovril · 18/11/2023 13:53

Just stick to the truth and you’re more likely to be believed. In one post you say you contacted someone and asked her to ask her paramedic husband about the CCTV. Then you say you didn’t ask, she offered, and you agreed. I’m sorry for whatever terrible thing happened. Whatever happened happened. You don’t need to lie about any of it.

You are incorrect. It's annoying that you are accusing me of lying when you have actually just not read what happened properly

Go back and read it again. That is not what happened at all. I'll put on here what happened for accuracy.

A poster on this thread said to me "I know paramedics in Ireland , I can ask for you if you want". I agreed. And she did.

Then later on, I asked my friend in real life to ask a paramedic that she knows.

A poster then said to me on here "why did you ask the woman on this thread to ask a paramedic for you, when you already had someone in real life that you could ask".

I replied "I didn't ask the poster on this thread to ask for me. She offered to ask for me, and I agreed".

OP posts:
HerbalBovril · 18/11/2023 13:53

Just stick to the truth and you’re more likely to be believed. In one post you say you contacted someone and asked her to ask her paramedic husband about the CCTV. Then you say you didn’t ask, she offered, and you agreed. I’m sorry for whatever terrible thing happened. Whatever happened happened. You don’t need to lie about any of it.

GaggleTheGoose · 18/11/2023 04:07

Tattle, amongst others know the truth don't they op 🤫

HollaHolla · 18/11/2023 01:15

Mooshamoo · 17/11/2023 21:46

Well then you don't know much about back pain.
You said "back pain is not an emergency".

You are wrong. Severe sudden back pain can be classed as an emergency.

I copied this from an online medical source:

When is back pain an emergency?

If back pain is a medical emergency, you’ll likely feel intense, sudden symptoms. You usually also experience one or more red-flag symptoms along with such as:

  • Difficulty standing or walking
  • Loss of bowel or bladder control
  • Loss of consciousness
  • Pain that extends from the lower back around to your abdomen
  • Sudden numbness in your pelvic region or in one or both legs
If you experience any of these symptoms, seek emergency care or call 999 immediately. These symptoms can indicate a problem with your blood vessels, spine or nerves that could cause lasting damage if you don’t receive treatment right away..

I could not stand or walk. I could not walk one single step without being in agony. I could not get up off the couch at all.

I rang my doctor, told her my symptoms, and she told me to call an ambulance immediately

Show quote history

These are all potential indication for Cauda Equina - which I suggested you look up, a few posts ago. I’m not sure if you’ve had the opportunity to do this. It’s also important to understand the difference between nerve pain and mechanical pain. The former is significant in CE; but not always the latter.
Having a bad back spasm (muscle/arthritic/disc protrusion) can take a week or so to ease off. The best thing to do is keep moving as much as possible - even though it’s painful. That can mean anything from little pelvic tilts, to walking a mile!

HollaHolla · 18/11/2023 01:12

Mooshamoo · 17/11/2023 21:39

Its not unheard of for medical professionals to be uncaring/cruel. It is not safe for patients.

A lot of them are not watched and it brings up the argument that their should be cctv everywhere, or there should be always two staff present or there should always be a female member of staff present. I know all these things bring challenges, but they should at least look at how they can make things safer for patients.

I've seen so many stories in the news of medical professionals abusing sick/weak people. There needs to be more done to protect people.

On this basis, do you now think women can’t be nasty/abusive/inappropriate? You’re lobbying for female staff to always be present - but you are also saying how nasty and evil women are.
i think you’re having a knee jerk reaction to an interaction you are telling us you found inappropriate and upsetting.
Like others have said, I would advocate for you to consider stepping away from this thread, if you’re set on not taking this further. Kindly, I think it’s continuing to enflame your feelings and emotions about it. (… and I am qualified to give this advice; I have a clinical doctorate.)

allaloneandlost · 18/11/2023 01:01

@Mooshamoo Thanks a lot and I'm really sorry you've gone through this when you've enough to deal with being ill Flowers

I grew up rurally and before learning to drive used to have to take the bus back after meeting friends in town Saturdays for shopping, going to the cinema, or travelling back from work. I wasn't bothering anybody but a few times had older creepy men sitting next to me fancying their chances. Asking me if I was married, where did I live. They'd usually had a drink.

It was a bit uncomfortable at the time but after reading numerous threads on MN, saw it posted by others they never talked to and asked the same questions to another middle-aged man on the bus!

The paramedics wouldn't have said the things they said to you to a man. Says it all really.

allaloneandlost · 18/11/2023 00:49

Generally speaking, I find it horrible that women experience difficult things when their only "crime" is living their lives. We don't need or deserve inappropriate behaviours, especially at our most vulnerable.

I wish I had the answers to resolve this.

Original poster
Mooshamoo · 18/11/2023 00:45

allaloneandlost · 18/11/2023 00:29

@BrightLightTonight Thank you for replying.

I'm saying this in what I hope is a reasonable and fair way, sadly females of all ages could be in vulnerable situations through no fault of their own whilst going about their business.

From a constant stream of threads on this forum alone, many women are or have been abused or experienced unwanted behaviours in some shape or form at home, from neighbours, at work, from the NHS, the police, in pubs and even whilst out walking.

Whilst working for the NHS, I've experienced discrimination and had a few low level racist comments made when people are just being rude and thought it clever to try and walk all over me. This wasn't the public, this was staff. Colleagues. I found the vast majority fine but bad apples definitely exist. You need to be hard and have a mouth and a backbone to work for the NHS. I personally found that hard. At times though I did stand up for myself. I didn't want to, I had to.

I've had men being a bit creepy to me on public transport a few times as a younger woman. No actual harm but I didn't know how to handle it. A woman posting about these experiences personally wouldn't have put me off but made me aware and feel it wasn't just me.

If people think threads of this nature are provocative, fair enough. They have the option of ignoring them :)

Edited

Yes sadly many women experience sexual harassment these days. Im sorry to hear that you had those experiences on public transport

OP posts:
SunsetApple · 18/11/2023 00:45

I have no doubt they were like this. I’ve been appalled on some of the ambulance programmes about how the paramedics talk to the patient. Some comments are beyond inappropriate and very many are patronising at best. Nobody wants sexist and sexual banter when they are feeling unwell and in the back of an ambulance. You can hardly walk away from it like you could if you were in a pub. I get that it is difficult if you live in a small community but that means they will carry on if you don’t report it.

Original poster
Mooshamoo · 18/11/2023 00:43

This reply has been deleted

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I think that the young vulnerable girls would be proud of me for talking out about what happened.

The young vulnerable girls who suffered sexual abuse,.certainly wouldnt feel able to talk to you about it, seeing as you call victims liars .

OP posts:
Original poster
Mooshamoo · 18/11/2023 00:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

What you're saying doesn't even make any sense. You are just saying it to be nasty and we all know it. As others have pointed out, you are rude and unkind

Why would a young vulnerable girl think twice about getting to hospital.

Many women talk about their sexual harrasment at different places.

If a woman came on here and posted about being sexually harassed on a train, it wouldnt stop me from ever taking a train again
I would feel sorry for her and I would feel less alone , as i have also experienced sexual harassment (in other places not on trains)

Women talking about these things help each other

OP posts:
allaloneandlost · 18/11/2023 00:29

@BrightLightTonight Thank you for replying.

I'm saying this in what I hope is a reasonable and fair way, sadly females of all ages could be in vulnerable situations through no fault of their own whilst going about their business.

From a constant stream of threads on this forum alone, many women are or have been abused or experienced unwanted behaviours in some shape or form at home, from neighbours, at work, from the NHS, the police, in pubs and even whilst out walking.

Whilst working for the NHS, I've experienced discrimination and had a few low level racist comments made when people are just being rude and thought it clever to try and walk all over me. This wasn't the public, this was staff. Colleagues. I found the vast majority fine but bad apples definitely exist. You need to be hard and have a mouth and a backbone to work for the NHS. I personally found that hard. At times though I did stand up for myself. I didn't want to, I had to.

I've had men being a bit creepy to me on public transport a few times as a younger woman. No actual harm but I didn't know how to handle it. A woman posting about these experiences personally wouldn't have put me off but made me aware and feel it wasn't just me.

If people think threads of this nature are provocative, fair enough. They have the option of ignoring them :)

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