Intense dejavu episode

Op, how certain are you that it was those exact words you heard? Just that if you heard a low monotone, for example, him taking to the delivery driver, and a word, or words were similar to words in that past conversation, it could just be that your brain made sense of them and 'heard' them like that. This has happened to me before, more than once. No MH issues with me at all, or anything like that. Just a simple mis-hearing that my brain reorganised to make sense of, I guess. Added to that, you were in bed, and were probably a bit surprised to find you had been pocket dialed. I find it quite disconcerting when it happens to me.

In the kindest possible way, I think you need some people around you right now to keep you safe and look after you.

From reading the whole thread and observing how you are thinking and responding, it suggests signs of health anxiety and general mental health challenges.

It's doesn't seem like you're in a good place, although you may not realise it.

And the fact you're boyfriend is showing the level of care that such an obvious situation requires says it all really. If strangers on the internet can see it, you'd expect him to recognise you need care and support right now.

I'd see the GP, not the neurologist, take some time off work, and have a break or shelf the boyfriend. He doesn't sound like the sept of person you need around you right now in your life.

I think it's just a weird thing, let it go. People have hallucinations all the time, it's actually pretty normal when you're tired/ill/half asleep. You don't have any other symptoms and your boyfriend probably isn't engaged on a sophisticated campaign of gaslighting, so just let it go.

If it happens again or you develop other symptoms then get it checked out.

OP, once again, with kindness, I think you are unwell. Please do seek help for that but not at an A and E dept. Go to your GP and explain that you feel anxious, confused and are ruminating.

I also think that you’d benefit from a break from your current boyfriend. You do not seem to be in the right place to have a relationship, particularly with a man who seeks to control your alcohol consumption in a weird way i.e. seeking to make you drink more.

Hi OP
I just want to offer you support as I feel you've had a hard time on here (not out of nastiness, this thread has got strangers caring and concerned for you)

This thread is not the kind of thread I normally read but as a fellow health professional, i was diagnosed with health anxiety a few years ago after sounding VERY similar to you. Im out the other side so can really read your post as if it were mine. I worked in neuro and massively jumped to the wrong conclusion of MS/brain tumour after i had a (very clear trapped nerve/injury) week of pins and needles. I went to the doctor the very next day when most people would be like most on this post (think its bizarre to act so quickly with such a normal symptom we all get from time to time)

I did actually get diagnosed withh low b12 also...but the main thing was health anxiety. I still have a tendency to jump to neuro issues (probably why i clicked on this thread)

You are not crazy!! I do NOT think you have ANY neuro thing going on. I think its a common fear among health workers when faced with worst case all the time.

I dont think there is a point in finding an explanation. We have weird things and lapses in time often (who else has been driving and suddenly forgot a good part of the journey as on autopilot)

I think its a sign you need to rest. Seek help for the grief you have had and maybe acknowledge that subconsciously you have maybe had niggles or slight concerns with your relationship, or thinking about your mum more/approaching an anniversary etc. The mind does weird things!!

I wish you all the best but this sounds like classic health anxiety to me. As someone who has it. Im an intelligent, rational person. Its just our minds on high alert.

Honestly, it sounds like he’s completely messing with you, playing mind games, playing on your past conditions, and taking you for a bit thick…

Actually, is he a bit thick? This is precisely the sort of moronic thing a low IQ boyfriend of mine would have done, and enjoyed the apparent power that comes with it.

I believe you’ve had a pocket dial and heard a conversation he was having with whoever. Please don’t waste your GPS precious time.

The thing is I wasn't tired at 2030 so I don't know why I thought it would be a good idea to try and sleep then and await a phone call. Wouldn't normally do that.

You’ve said this isn’t normal a couple of times now and so it’s obvious you weren’t feeling yourself and must have been feeling tired or run down, else you would have just turned the TV on.

Our brains play tricks on us sometimes.

Are you genuinely worried he’s cheating/not being truthful or that you’ve got some sort of neurological issues?

Both are really extreme.

Are you often quite a worried/dramatic person?

Most of us would be a bit freaked out but we wouldn’t think to call a GP friend or wonder if we should end the relationship over it.

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OP it would be a good idea to visit your GP, you don’t sound well at the moment.

Hi, op. Not sure anyone has suggested this as I've only read your responses and the posts you have replied to but isn't it possible you were actually dreaming?

So you went to bed, fell asleep and then he pocket dialed you. You picked up but were only semi awake at this stage and so dreamt up this bizarre rant. The hearing from a distance sounds a bit dream like to me. Also I think you are more likely to have auditory hallucinations when you are in the process of waking up or falling asleep.

I get something called sleep paralysis where I am awake but can't move any of my limbs. It's highly disturbing and very, very often accompanied by auditory hallucinations. I used to think it's a weird kind of dream till came across sleep paralysis. Not saying you've got this but I'm just throwing out there the possibility that this is something sleep or dream related.

Do see your GP if you are concerned.

Yes, but not for the reasons you think, because you are clearly unwell and need medical help. Focus on that.

Have a look at another thread that's on here at the moment called gaslighting.

It was probably someone in the back ground talking, could have even been the radio. I wouldn't over think this at all. He pocket dialed you. It's not dejavu.

Surely the most obvious explanation is that he butt dialled you while taking to the shopping driver. Perhaps sparked by carrying a bag of bottles or whatever. He was talking to the delivery driver, you heard snippets of it and ran away with the idea that he was saying the exact same thing as he did months ago. He either forgot this happened or is too embarrassed to admit it. You have massively overreacted and are now talking about seeing a neurologist and/or breaking up with him.

This. I think you need some proper sleep and proper rest. You said early on in the thread you were slightly post viral. Chalk this up to an odd experience, and try to let go of it.

He may not even remember what he was muttering to himself about. If he's bad for you, that will become apparent in time.

You’ve been through a lot this year OP. I think you need to take time to look after you MH.

If this had been deja vu, you wouldn't have relived what was a face to face conversation over the phone - you would have hallucinated your boyfriend being with you again.

Seriously how likely do you really think it is that you would experience deja vu out of the blue at exactly the same time as he happens to pocket dial you? It sounds like the most likely scenario is that for some reason he recorded your previous argument and that is what you heard.

Honesty I think your overreacting.

He was just ranting. People do that.

How is it deja vu if he actually said it? Your post is confusing. You don't need to see a doctor because of something your boyfriend actually said surely??

I'm sorry to say this @flowngo, and I really hope that I am wrong, but I just don't/can't believe in coincidences, and I also don't think that your description of what happened points in any way to a neurological "happening". So unlike many other PPs here I only have one explanation, which is that:

Your (D)P is not at all who you think he is, in fact he may have his own serious mental health issues. I think that he deliberately phoned you when he knew he was due a Tesco delivery - then put his phone in his pocket so that he could claim it was an accidental phone call - then as soon as the delivery driver went away he acted out his little scheme to make you feel like you are going mad, ie he is gaslighting you on purpose.

Your boyfriend lives on his own in a remote area, therefore he has no near neighbours?
How much has this laid back and lovely guy - except when he has one of his rants - told you about any of his previous girlfriends/partners/wives? Have any of them ever lived with him in his remote property?

Of course he is most likely to lie to you again about the "phone call" if you ask him directly about it. Therefore you may need to do some skillful skirting around his past etc, but then if you do that you have already lost your trust in him. So do you care enough about this relationship with him to do some careful digging about him?

Perhaps you could have a "girly" lunch in town with his mother, and gently, in a girlfriendly (getting more serious relationship wise with her DS) way, ask what he was like as a baby (maybe asking with a little laugh if has she any embarrassing photos of him as a baby etc - just to seem like a normal thing a girlfriend might say) and things like did he enjoy school etc. Obviously you shouldnt come out with loads of questions about him, and certainly not in a bullet point way, but between talking about other things and maybe sharing some things about your own childhood, then leading on to one or two things about her son's childhood. Then eventually say something about you being amazed that he hasn't already been snapped up by someone else, adding that maybe you have a Guardian Angel who has been keeping him just for you! But you obviously need to be very subtle about it.

Do you care enough about him to go to that sort of effort to find out more about him, or do you trust that he never lies to you, so you don't need to? Whatever else happens, if you continue your relationship with him, could you please not stay alone with him again at his place until you are far more sure about him. Maybe I am paranoid myself, but even if I am it doesn't mean that 'they' are not out to get you or me...
Good luck OP with your decision making 💐

He probably knows OP hasn't had an auditory hallucination but doesn't want to admit that she heard something absolutely genuine, whether it was a recording or him talking to someone else or whatever.