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AIBU?

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Original poster

Guy with teeth

141 replies

sadconfusedembarassed · 26/05/2023 11:13

I met a man at a session for one of my hobbies (outing as it's quite niche so can't mention). He's a really funny and smart guy and I really enjoy chatting with him etc. He's also really good looking/healthy/fit and a few years older than me but I have an embarrassing question that is making me feel quite shallow as well. I don't think I am necessarily shallow and never thought this type of stuff would bother me but I really have an issue with his teeth. I think he might be a smoker and I haven't asked and he definitely has 'bad' teeth and I don't really want to describe it. The problem is that I really like him and his personality and I think he might have a little crush on me (he's quite popular there). So what should I do? How can I tell him to go see a dentist or something along that line, is that even acceptable?? AIBU to even like him?? Please help me, I need some advice from the wise MN. I am definitely name changing after this post!

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Herecomestreble1 · 26/05/2023 13:41

My husband doesn't have wonderful teeth and whilst I noticed, it was never big enough to put me off his other incredible qualities. I suppose you just need to decide how much of a big deal it is to you!

Daffodilsandtuplips · 26/05/2023 13:42

He probably knows he has bad teeth and for all you know he may be trying to get an appointment to fix them. I rang my old dentist for an appointment recently and was told there’s a two year waiting list for NHS patients, if I opted for private I could have had one the following month.

(BTW what kind of bad are we talking about here, are they crooked, discoloured, protruding or missing a few ?)

Original poster
sadconfusedembarassed · 26/05/2023 13:48

@5128gap and I think you can't possibly know exactly what is upsetting someone, how could you? For all we know some did take it personally (probably due to their teeth). The thing is you can't know exactly 🙂

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Original poster
sadconfusedembarassed · 26/05/2023 13:49

Herecomestreble1 · 26/05/2023 13:41

My husband doesn't have wonderful teeth and whilst I noticed, it was never big enough to put me off his other incredible qualities. I suppose you just need to decide how much of a big deal it is to you!

Thanks this was really helpful ❤️

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Timesawastin · 26/05/2023 13:52

Ponoka7 · 26/05/2023 11:16

Does he have £ thousands to spend on dentistry? I desperately need implants but they are just out of financial reach.

This. Finally had access to some capital and had caps and fillers.

£11,000.

NooNooHead1981 · 26/05/2023 13:58

I'm happily married but I have a neurological involuntary movement disorder caused by some prescribed medication. It's horrid and facial tics and involuntary mouth movements are part of it.

If someone pointed this out who I barely knew that they thought my movements were bizarre (they are 😳) and they were embarrassed by them, I'd feel mortified. It already makes me extremely self conscious so to point out something about me that affects my face but I already know about (and can't change) would leave me feeling quite humiliated.

Please be kind to others about their supposed "flaws". Nothing in this world is perfect and we are all human. Be kind ✨ 💛

Cam22 · 26/05/2023 14:15

I have lovely teeth, OP. Talking of rudeness, your own comment about “triggering” was specifically used to insult others on the thread. Most posters were incensed about your attitude, nothing more; I very much doubt they were upset because their teeth were rotten.🙄

Cam22 · 26/05/2023 14:17

sadconfusedembarassed · 26/05/2023 13:48

@5128gap and I think you can't possibly know exactly what is upsetting someone, how could you? For all we know some did take it personally (probably due to their teeth). The thing is you can't know exactly 🙂

But your snide “triggering” comment was chosen by you to be unpleasant. Were you upset because so few backed you up? Awwww…

Original poster
sadconfusedembarassed · 26/05/2023 14:21

Oh dear, I am not here for people to back me up. How old are you? Jesus

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SchoolShenanigans · 26/05/2023 14:23

Take him as he is, or not at all.

Imagine having the audacity to tell someone to change part of themselves just because you don't like it, when you aren't even together.

Original poster
sadconfusedembarassed · 26/05/2023 14:25

@Cam22 can I ask you nicely to leave this thread? Let's agree to disagree and not engage anymore.

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Original poster
sadconfusedembarassed · 26/05/2023 14:26

SchoolShenanigans · 26/05/2023 14:23

Take him as he is, or not at all.

Imagine having the audacity to tell someone to change part of themselves just because you don't like it, when you aren't even together.

Okay that's fair, I will! 😅

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Original poster
sadconfusedembarassed · 26/05/2023 14:33

NooNooHead1981 · 26/05/2023 13:58

I'm happily married but I have a neurological involuntary movement disorder caused by some prescribed medication. It's horrid and facial tics and involuntary mouth movements are part of it.

If someone pointed this out who I barely knew that they thought my movements were bizarre (they are 😳) and they were embarrassed by them, I'd feel mortified. It already makes me extremely self conscious so to point out something about me that affects my face but I already know about (and can't change) would leave me feeling quite humiliated.

Please be kind to others about their supposed "flaws". Nothing in this world is perfect and we are all human. Be kind ✨ 💛

I can see how they are similar- teeth and a neurological involuntary movement. Thanks for this post, I was being unkind and didn't mean to make you feel that way ❤️

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BadNomad · 26/05/2023 14:37

I can't believe you even considered saying something. If you ever wonder about if you should tell someone that they need to lose weight, don't do that either. Or a nosejob/mole removal/breast lift, that's also a no.

JudgeRudy · 26/05/2023 14:38

These types of post perplex me. I get that you're conflicted - you fancy him but....
What I don't get is why you would highlight the to him the bit you don't like. I've seen similar posts along the lines of 'How can I tell my bestie/sister/child that they're fat?'...they know, just like this guy knows his teeth aren't great.
10 years ago I'd have thought the majority of people with bad teeth had them due to poor dental hygiene. You could make a judgement there. Now you are almost forced to go private and for many the cost is prohibitive. The result is bad and decaying teeth.
It's unclear just how bad his teeth are. If he had bad breath that would be a no for me. If they were stained or crooked l might overlook that....for the right man. Tbh it doesn't sound like he's struggling for female attention. See how you feel when someone else shows an interest or h3s flirting elsewhere.

BTW, what if you date and he stays over but dumps you because your cellulite/public hair/stretch marks/jelly belly/orange make up/kid/accent/bitten nails etc put him off?

NooNooHead1981 · 26/05/2023 14:40

That's ok, you didn't upset me really. I actually don't think teeth and a movement disorder are that similar but I guess that they involve the face 😅

Thank you for your apology. Please don't worry about the fact don't like his teeth, I would be put off too. I think perhaps if you found a way to tell him kindly if you were going out, then it might be better for him rather than just saying it is something you don't like before you are together properly.

Hopefully that way he would see it from a kind place. He is most likely aware of his bad teeth, and I'm certain smoking won't have helped his oral health at all. Perhaps you could ask him about whether he's still smoking and how it will be expensive in the cost of living crisis? If you approach it this way, he might see it differently 😉 💖

Cam22 · 26/05/2023 14:57

sadconfusedembarassed · 26/05/2023 14:21

Oh dear, I am not here for people to back me up. How old are you? Jesus

That’s debatable.

Cam22 · 26/05/2023 14:58

BadNomad · 26/05/2023 14:37

I can't believe you even considered saying something. If you ever wonder about if you should tell someone that they need to lose weight, don't do that either. Or a nosejob/mole removal/breast lift, that's also a no.

Quite. Talk about subtle.

Original poster
sadconfusedembarassed · 26/05/2023 15:10

Ah I understand you better now @Cam22 😂😂😂 you're one of those,so much for your high horse bullshit.
"Cam22 · 12/04/2023 15:47

Shes an appalling person so very pleased she won’t be there trying to seek attention."

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/the_royal_family/4783470-harry-but-not-meghan

Harry but not Meghan | Mumsnet

No surprise he's coming on his own to the coronation.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/the_royal_family/4783470-harry-but-not-meghan

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Original poster
sadconfusedembarassed · 26/05/2023 15:12

Also found the Reddit thread by googling @Cam22 Mumsnet 😂😂😂😂😂

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Original poster
sadconfusedembarassed · 26/05/2023 15:15

NooNooHead1981 · 26/05/2023 14:40

That's ok, you didn't upset me really. I actually don't think teeth and a movement disorder are that similar but I guess that they involve the face 😅

Thank you for your apology. Please don't worry about the fact don't like his teeth, I would be put off too. I think perhaps if you found a way to tell him kindly if you were going out, then it might be better for him rather than just saying it is something you don't like before you are together properly.

Hopefully that way he would see it from a kind place. He is most likely aware of his bad teeth, and I'm certain smoking won't have helped his oral health at all. Perhaps you could ask him about whether he's still smoking and how it will be expensive in the cost of living crisis? If you approach it this way, he might see it differently 😉 💖

Nah I am really sorry I didn't realise how my question would affect others, thank you, I would have ever only mentioned it if we were together as even then idk if I would have, that's why I am asking here! 😅

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Cam22 · 26/05/2023 15:27

Wow! Imagine doing a search or ten. Lol
Don’t give up the single life or it’ll leave you less time to check up people you don’t know! 😆

Cam22 · 26/05/2023 15:27

…up on

Original poster
sadconfusedembarassed · 26/05/2023 15:30

Poor @Cam22 😂😂😂😂 I guess trolling doesn't always pay off, I am glad there's traceability on MN

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