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AIBU?

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Original poster

Guy with teeth

141 replies

sadconfusedembarassed · 26/05/2023 11:13

I met a man at a session for one of my hobbies (outing as it's quite niche so can't mention). He's a really funny and smart guy and I really enjoy chatting with him etc. He's also really good looking/healthy/fit and a few years older than me but I have an embarrassing question that is making me feel quite shallow as well. I don't think I am necessarily shallow and never thought this type of stuff would bother me but I really have an issue with his teeth. I think he might be a smoker and I haven't asked and he definitely has 'bad' teeth and I don't really want to describe it. The problem is that I really like him and his personality and I think he might have a little crush on me (he's quite popular there). So what should I do? How can I tell him to go see a dentist or something along that line, is that even acceptable?? AIBU to even like him?? Please help me, I need some advice from the wise MN. I am definitely name changing after this post!

OP posts:
shivawn · 26/05/2023 11:16

No, I don't think you should tell him to go see a dentist. It sounds like you barely know him. Are you completely lacking in social awareness? I think you should just leave the poor guy alone.

Ponoka7 · 26/05/2023 11:16

Does he have £ thousands to spend on dentistry? I desperately need implants but they are just out of financial reach.

Original poster
sadconfusedembarassed · 26/05/2023 11:18

No, I would just leave him alone and I have but I think he really likes me as he always waits for me afterwards and I wouldn't mind dating him. That's the only reason I asked. Can someone give me a little advice without telling me to leave him alone because I can already think and decide that?

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 26/05/2023 11:20

What?! You can't possibly be seriously considering saying something like that.

It's fine to have standards op but you would be incredibly rude to think this was OK, he's not for you, move on.

Catlord · 26/05/2023 11:20

If they put you off him, they put you off him. Get to know him as friends if you like his personality. You absolutely can't be telling some bloke you hardly know to get to the dentist proactively. If things ever got to the point when he asked you what you didn't like about him then ok, he's asked. But he hasn't. Not even close.

Nordicrain · 26/05/2023 11:20

No it's not acceptable to tell someone that.

If you want to date him, accept him with his bad teeth. Or don't date him. It's really that simple.

watcherintherye · 26/05/2023 11:21

If you tell him to go to a dentist, before you’ve even established a friendship with him, I would imagine you’ll put the mockers on any potential relationship!
It’s campanology, isn’t it?

queenMab99 · 26/05/2023 11:22

He has teeth? That's a bonus.

threecupsofteaminimum · 26/05/2023 11:22

I couldn't date a man with bad teeth, sorry. Deal breaker, I have v high standards and have no plans to ever get into another relationship though!

StayingZenInTheVipersDen · 26/05/2023 11:22

I don't think there is any other appropriate advice though. Either you like him as he is or you don't. I don't think you can really go down the road of saying "I like you but I don't like your teeth, so sort those out and we might go out" 😂

How do you feel about dating a smoker though? That's a behaviour not a feature and can be changed with effort and no expense. So I think it would be fair to say no to a date (if he asks) because you wouldn't date a smoker.

But that said you're within your rights not to fancy him because of his teeth! I would not like that either.

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 26/05/2023 11:22

You will get some negative comments on here but 30 years ago there was a man I fancied and I introduced myself to him and asked to to go to a dentist and sort his teeth out.

A year later we were married and have been together ever since!

.....said nobody, ever.

Original poster
sadconfusedembarassed · 26/05/2023 11:22

Yes, I thought so thanks, I feel really bad even posting about this, he's a lovely man

OP posts:
Original poster
sadconfusedembarassed · 26/05/2023 11:23

queenMab99 · 26/05/2023 11:22

He has teeth? That's a bonus.

Love this post! 😂

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 26/05/2023 11:24

Can you imagine him waiting for you.at the end of the evening and saying,

" you know sadconfusedembarrassed I've really enjoyed getting to know you, I like your company and would totally consider dating you, but only if you sorted out that bump on your nose. It's the only thing that keeps putting me off so I thought I'd let you know and put the ball in your court. "

CountessBathorysBeautySecrets · 26/05/2023 11:25

So what should I do? How can I tell him to go see a dentist or something along that line, is that even acceptable??

Oh wow, absolutely not acceptable. Bad teeth would put me off someone too, but I'd never suggest to someone I wasn't actually with that they get their teeth fixed.

Original poster
sadconfusedembarassed · 26/05/2023 11:25

StayingZenInTheVipersDen · 26/05/2023 11:22

I don't think there is any other appropriate advice though. Either you like him as he is or you don't. I don't think you can really go down the road of saying "I like you but I don't like your teeth, so sort those out and we might go out" 😂

How do you feel about dating a smoker though? That's a behaviour not a feature and can be changed with effort and no expense. So I think it would be fair to say no to a date (if he asks) because you wouldn't date a smoker.

But that said you're within your rights not to fancy him because of his teeth! I would not like that either.

Oh yeah I wouldn't date a smoker, great point though, I just have a massive crush on him at the moment so didn't consider this 😅

OP posts:
Thebigblueballoon · 26/05/2023 11:25

Jesus, NO. You can’t say anything like that to him! And if somebody I wasn’t even dating said anything remotely of the sort, I’d run a mile! The only way you could possibly, gently mention his teeth is if you were in a committed relationship, and even then it’s bloody cruel.

Original poster
sadconfusedembarassed · 26/05/2023 11:26

TomatoSandwiches · 26/05/2023 11:24

Can you imagine him waiting for you.at the end of the evening and saying,

" you know sadconfusedembarrassed I've really enjoyed getting to know you, I like your company and would totally consider dating you, but only if you sorted out that bump on your nose. It's the only thing that keeps putting me off so I thought I'd let you know and put the ball in your court. "

Ahahahah 😂

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 26/05/2023 11:27

I hope he gets in first and asks you if you’d consider getting a boob job as he really likes you but your boobs aren’t quite big enough for him

BirminghamNewStreet · 26/05/2023 11:28

No you can't say that to him OP. It's rude and bad-mannered.

5128gap · 26/05/2023 11:28

Goodness. I'm all for self confidence, but when that extends to issuing someone with instructions to enhance their appearance so they may have a chance with you, it's crossed over into a level of arrogance that is so presumptuous and rude, it would kill any crush you imagine he had stone dead.
You either like the guy as he is, or you don't. Once you've established you like him, then you get to hope that's reciprocal.

HaPPy8 · 26/05/2023 11:30

Good job you are perfect hey?

PinkFootstool · 26/05/2023 11:31

Frankly if someone I'd met once told me to sort my teeth out, I'd be asking for the £12k cash from them that my dentist has quoted me.

And I'd think you were a Grade A Arsehole.

Do you really think those of us with poor teeth don't know? Mine are clean and my my breath fresh, but they are badly damaged from years of grinding and poor genetics and need so much repair work that I can't afford it. I'm already humiliated by them, smile with my mouth closed and hate how I look.

I'd be absolutely humiliated if someone saw fit to tell me to go to the dentist. Wow.

neilyoungismyhero · 26/05/2023 11:31

A few people I know have very bad teeth because they do/did a lot of drugs..

Catlord · 26/05/2023 11:32

sadconfusedembarassed · 26/05/2023 11:18

No, I would just leave him alone and I have but I think he really likes me as he always waits for me afterwards and I wouldn't mind dating him. That's the only reason I asked. Can someone give me a little advice without telling me to leave him alone because I can already think and decide that?

Well what other advice can you think of for someone in your shoes? I don't really see what anyone could suggest. He hasn't asked your opinion or begged for a chance and it isn't ok to just tell someone the things you'd like them to change.