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To be sick of partner talking about colleague

(141 Posts)
loophole Thu 20-Feb-20 22:51:44

Who he says is one of his best friends?
He and she have dinner, coffees, lunches outside or work hours, on their own. They have arranged meet ups to a shared interest, on their own.They have plans for the summer to attend events, on their own. Is it unreasonable or am I a jealous cow?
I'm bored listening to what an amazing person she is and how talented she is at work.
He isn't attracted to her and he hasn't introduced me to her.
She is single but many years his senior ..trying to avoid a drip feed.
They are colleagues and friends five years past.
AIBU?

Bellyfullofbiscuits Thu 20-Feb-20 22:52:56

How do you know he isn't attracted to her ? Does he speak about anyone else like this ?

PinkSparkleUnicorns Thu 20-Feb-20 22:54:04

Could it be a maternal like figure to him? If there was more romance to it I doubt he'd talk about her so much?

loophole Thu 20-Feb-20 22:55:26

He told me he doesn't fancy her. They are just mates, like a big sister.
No, he only speaks about other females who he is related to,like this. His sister,cousin, Mum.

Rosspoldarkssaddle Thu 20-Feb-20 22:55:58

How would he feel if you did the same?

loophole Thu 20-Feb-20 22:57:11

It could be maternal.she is many years older than him and she is a Mum and is maternal according to the way he speaks about her. Still, is that contact not too intense?

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug Thu 20-Feb-20 22:59:08

It sounds very intense. Do you think he could be craving some emotional closeness that is currently maybe not there in your relationship? He's totally wrong if so, just thinking of ideas as to what it could be..

Dozer Thu 20-Feb-20 23:00:26

Not Just Friends.

loophole Thu 20-Feb-20 23:00:59

I'm not too sure. He has female friends but no one friendship is as intense as this. He said that she and him are frinends a long time and that it is very important to him and that he will not give it up just because I have an issue with it. They have reduced contact since we met but previously it was constant text messages out of work and mutual back clapping and adoring messages.

WorraLiberty Thu 20-Feb-20 23:01:27

He told me he doesn't fancy her. They are just mates, like a big sister.

Well realistically if he does fancy her, he's hardly going to tell you, is he?

YANBU though, it does sound intense.

Grembolina Thu 20-Feb-20 23:05:08

If I was having an affair I am sure I would say I didn't fancy my affair partner to my wife.

yellowowls Thu 20-Feb-20 23:06:26

Wouldn't rely on the age thing. I know someone who is now in a relationship with his former boss who is 15 years older than him.

loophole Thu 20-Feb-20 23:06:54

We are very emotionally close. He thinks that every opinion, thought, idea she has trump everyone else's.He tries to impress her , from the information I can gather. He confides in her, gets advise from her too.she is his'go to' person if that makes sense? He even copies words and phrases that she uses and is not embarrassed to say where he hears these silly phrases and takes them on as his own, repeatedly.
Jeez I sound like a jealous cow!

Ponoka7 Thu 20-Feb-20 23:07:22

The age thing could easily be a red herring. My DD's friend has just found out that her 25 year old partner and father to her child, is having an affair with a 40 year old.

However it might be a good friendship. How long have they been friends and does he going to stuff with her mean that you can't go, or does it cut down on the time that you have together?

AtrociousCircumstance Thu 20-Feb-20 23:07:26

How old is he and how old is she?

He sounds infatuated with her.

MyOtherProfile Thu 20-Feb-20 23:08:57

Mentionitis. Whether he fancies her or not he's attracted to her.

Tell him you would love to meet her as she sounds so amazing, so can she come for dinner?

audweb Thu 20-Feb-20 23:14:26

Hate to say this but my ex describes his work colleague and friend as a sister. Turns out they were sleeping together and in love.

Mumdiva99 Thu 20-Feb-20 23:15:03

How long have you and he been together? Has she come on the scene since you? Or are you and he quite new? How come you haven't met her yet? Do you ever get invited along? Is he usually a sociable man or is she one of few friends?

incognitomum Thu 20-Feb-20 23:18:33

Very odd. He sounds obsessed.

loophole Thu 20-Feb-20 23:20:05

We are together a year give or take.they are friends five years.
They share common shared interests and I am not invited.I suggested meeting her but it hasn't happened.I think he loves me very much and we talk about the future. I see us as a serious couple and he does too but his friendship feels too intense. She is 12 or 13 years older then him.

AtrociousCircumstance Thu 20-Feb-20 23:25:00

How old is he?

loophole Thu 20-Feb-20 23:25:14

He is very sociable.lots of friends but she is the special one for sure.

loophole Thu 20-Feb-20 23:25:50

He is 36.

Chickychoccyegg Thu 20-Feb-20 23:27:03

is she single? i would be very suspicious of this if i were you, its not that unusual an age gap, and it sounds very intense.

loophole Thu 20-Feb-20 23:27:41

Yes.Single.

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