My dd is not coming home from uni this summer, even though the holidays 4 months long. All my friends’ children are; all over social media I see posts about not long until they come home and his all these parents can’t wait. We had such a lovely summer last year - a holiday, spa days , lunches and shopping. I had it in my head I’d get two or three more summers until she had a full time job and would move away.
I was getting so excited and now I feel so down about it. I keep thinking I am literally the person paying for her rent in her uni city and I have paid to make myself this unhappy.

I would like to take my daughter to Africa on holiday. For context, I am Black British and my husband is white. He does not like long-haul flights and is refusing to agree to the trip. His view is that because I visited South Africa four years ago, there is no need for us to travel to Africa again, and that we should choose a closer destination such as Europe instead.
My daughter, who is of mixed African heritage, has never been to Africa and is devastated that she is not being allowed to go.

My husband is threatening to divorce me, should I go ahead and book the holiday?

I think there is little appetite for a new PM and a new Labour leader will make 0 difference to their chances of winning. I also think the best the public can hope for, from any government, is a slow, well managed decline. I don't think there is much of a future in the UK and the public need to accept the social contract is no more. .

A couple of local charity shops near me both constantly have signs up outside on an A-Board, saying that they are not taking donations. However, both of these have very little stock inside, and are both very overpriced. For example, a worn, very bobbly Primark jumper for £7, and a Boohoo polyester dress for £12.

One in particular is just depressing to go into; I went in the other day for the first time in two months and some of the overpriced clothes that were there then were still hanging there, still for sale. The rails were also pretty empty. The board was outside as usual requesting no donations. There were 5 members of staff in the shop.

I really don't get it; surely it would be far better, and raise far more money, if they had more stock out, and priced it at lower prices for a quicker turnover. I really can't see the shop I went in yesterday raising much money at all, as there's never anything in there really to buy.

I'm sure some posters will reply saying it's a 'charity shop bashing thread', and yes, it is! I want to support charities and want to buy pre owned items but shops like this aren't exactly going to raise any money!

A friend is getting married in NYC later this year. The dress code is black tie. The venue has not been disclosed and will not be disclosed until the day of the event to avoid media attention as they are within the celebrity sphere (I know them through family and am very much not from this world)
Any advice on something suitably glamorous given there may be a few A listers present and I don’t want to look out of place? I’m 5’7, size 8-10. Budget not really an issue

Anyone ordered this yet?

Lots of full sized products, looking forward to getting mine on Saturday!

I had a gardener round to quote for trimming some hedges back from my back gate that overhang from the property behind, weeding the patio and jet washing it. Taking all garden waste with them He’s said half a days work for a couple of them max. He’s just emailed me the quote: £750!!! My flabber is truly gasted…. Is this really the going rate?! 5 years ago without the jet washing I paid someone £45!!!

We had an argument about this last night and again this morning.
He has sleep apnea, diagnosed and he has a machine that stops his snoring, it only works if he lays on his side, on his back he still snores.
He only got diagnosed with this after years of me complaining about the lack of sleep i was getting because of the snoring.
A family holiday abroad made him realise how bad it was, because of the layout his teen daughter also told him how horrific it was.
We both work and have to be out of the door by 6.50am Monday-Friday. I work 30 hours but my office is a 10 minute walk, he works 40 hours but commutes an hour each way.
I have insomnia, I take pills have done since I was 18, now 44.
To fall asleep I need a dark and quiet room. I like to be in bed ready to sleep by 10.30.
My husband likes to stay up, until gone midnight some nights but normally 11.30ish.
He has started listening to podcasts, this is the issue.
He’ll come to bed at 10 with me but doesn’t see why I can’t stand him laying next to me, on his back with headphones in listening to podcasts.
My issue is, the light from his phone, I can still hear it regardless of headphones and he tends to doze and start snoring, last night nudged him awake to be told.. Fine, I’ll put my mask on but I’m still listening to it.
He kept dozing off, snoring starts because he’s on his back, it was so frustrating to lay next to while I’m trying to sleep.
I eventually got up and said.. Fuck this. I’ll sleep in the spare room from now on and you can come and get me when you actually want to go to sleep.
His argument is that number 1 he has less spare time than me to chill out listening to podcasts. And 2 that he already made a compromise by strapping a mask to his face every night.
He thinks I should learn to tolerate a little phone light and noise in return, who is being unreasonable here?

I am an animal lover, I am especially a dog person meaning I like wolves too if we’re talking wildlife. My mum has taken this to mean I’m obsessed with wolves - I’m really not.

Every year at Christmas she buys me something wolf related … it started off as huge framed pictures (often featuring native Americans too 😂) and in the end I had so many massive pictures piled up the spare room that I made a point of telling her I am no longer buying wall pictures as I don’t like a lot of stuff on the walls and I’ve ran out of space. She got the hint and stopped buying me pictures … instead she started buying me huge blankets, fleece bed covers etc, again featuring wolves howling at the moon, native Americans, wolf eyes staring out of dark trees etc 🤦‍♀️

I ended up with a big pile of fleece blankets that were just sat there collecting dust. In the end I asked her if she wanted any blankets as I’m getting rid of loads as I have far too many and don’t use them. She got the hint.

Now … as my birthday this year was approaching she asked me what size clothing I was. I told her. I joked to DH that I’ll probably end up with a wolf fleece jacket for my birthday … I was wrong … I got 3 wolf fleece jackets for my birthday.

I don’t get it!!! I’m in my 30s, she sees me every week … surely she can see that I don’t wear stuff like this?? It was funny at first but now its getting frustrating. She gets upset and offended easily so I’ve tried to treat lightly but come on …

What would you do?? Or do I just carry on accepting this stuff and lying that I like it to keep the peace?

Hi all, hope it's ok to start this here.

Thought it might be fun and stretch the old grey matter a bit.

I'll attach a shot of some opening lines and whoever guesses correctly post their own?

We could all just post pics but then we might lose track. I don't mind.

Let me know what you think (of the idea, and the opening lines here - hopefully started off with an easyish one but let me know if any clues are needed!)

If it's being done elsewhere please someone direct me 😊

My husband has been acting strange/secretive with his phone for a couple of weeks now so I took it on myself to look at his phone. Yes I know it’s morally dodgy but we have each others log ins and I looked at it whilst he was feeding DS dinner (it was charging upstairs).

There is a woman who is obviously a co-worker. I only had time to look at messages from the past two days. He was in the office today. He messaged her to say please walk past my desk again so I can look at your arse. She said she’d be back up in an hour and she will walk slowly this time. He then messaged again (after about an hour) to say that was the highlight of his afternoon to which she replied she knew her trousers would get attention today and sent a peach symbol. That was the last message.

I confronted him straight away and he stormed off and hasn’t come home yet. Said how dare I look at his phone. I have tried to call him and he just declined the call. He sent a text to say I’ve betrayed his trust and he can’t believe I did that instead of speaking to him.

Am I wrong to have done this, I think that if you know something is up then it’s within your right to investigate?

A couple we know (our DC are friends). OurDC took part in a competition recently and afterwards we went to a restaurant for lunch / drinks. 4 adults and 4DC. My DH paid on the day and said let’s sort it out afterwards as there was a massive queue at the bar where you had to pay. The bill was £230. My DH forgot to text them bank details and they didn’t remember either. Nearly 2 weeks have gone by. Do you think it’s rude to send a text saying we just remembered and asking for their half? To add - they have expressed they are hard up at the moment!

If not rude / awkward then how would you phrase it?

Name changed for this, as absolutely don't want it linked to my regular posts.
Last weekend, a male friend of mine sent me a sexually graphic video (him masturbating to climax) totally out of the blue.
For context, this is a friend of 6 years, 5 of which he has had a girlfriend.
Because of past trauma (including being raped as a child and, separately, as an adult), I totally freaked out over this and reported him to the police (after contacting his girlfriend, then blocking him on everything).
Have I overreacted?

Not stylish AT ALL but I have finally found a housecoat after months of searching. I have a white cat with longish fur and a black cat so everything I wear in the house is instantly a cat fur magnet and I have spent a fortune on sticky rollers and invariably go out looking like a furry mess....lovely.
I had given up hope of ever finding one. I remember my grandmother wearing one round the house. She was incredibly stylish and well dressed and would never have exposed her nice clothes to children, animals or housework but would take it off if she was going out or expecting visitors.
I think they are due for a comeback 😀

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09RPX62RS/ref=syn_sd_offsite_mobileweb_50?ie=UTF8&psc=1&aref=z12Im60v0s&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zZF9vZmZzaXRlX21vYmlsZXdlYg&tag=dradisplay0bb-21&th=1

There are about 2 places in our house where we all get an overwhelming smell of weed! It's just bizarre. Downstairs hallway and toilet. It is definitely not cannabis and it's not neighbours either - terraced house but our neighbours are in their 70s and def not smokers.

Is there anything else that smells like weed that we should be exploring? Under floorboards etc. Thanks

I am desperate to find a pinky nude matte-ish lipstick similar to the ones Lucy Punch wears in Amandaland. I’m quite pale and find Pillow Talk comes out REALLY orange on me.

Does anyone have any ideas?

Hi all. I've got an 18mo DD who is just, a firecracker. She's always called a happy baby by everyone, and she is, but she's also absolutely savage and insane. Everything is a delight and a game and a reason to get overexcited.

Sometimes she gets handsy, other times she throws toys or pulls hair. With us, we don't mind so much but nursery have now put her on a behaviour plan! I never heard of such a thing.

When she started to be like this around 12-14mo we used to firmly tell her not to, remove her from the situation or toy or person, but not over labour the point so as not to give her attention over it. She loves the attention. We also got given a sticker chart and a set of laminated cards with red stop signs or happy or sad faces etc to help her identify her feelings or to know when to stop.

I know all toddlers can get this way but my older DD who's now 6 was never this bad. She's now on a behaviour plan where the nursery tries to track any triggers or particular people but they're not spotting any pattern. They ring us almost daily now with something she's done, and mostly she's not hurting other kids though there have been a couple of occasions of pushing or pulling. She knows how to say sorry and does it well, so understands the concepts of no or kind hands. But the thing is, for her, it's never a tantrum or upset or malicious behaviour it's the opposite- she's just happy and overexcited and misplaces the energy. She doesn't realise when she could hurt someone, she just has this thrilled look in her eye like it's all play.

At this point I genuinely feel like my little happy girl might be the first ever baby to get expelled from a nursery! I half feel indignant because, why are the nursery staff ringing me to check if I've been using the sticker chart properly when I'm at work... she's literally a 1 year old baby who can't speak yet. She's just about starting to pick up single words now. On the other hand, I know she's more demanding than my first and handsy and I'm starting to feel like a bad mum. But I literally don't know what else I can do? If I tell her off even more she just wiggles away or gets happier from the attention and eye contact. She's kind of feral but we love it and think it's just her baby nature and will grow out of it. But is there something I'm missing? Could we be trying something else? Any advice much appreciated! At this daily rate I'm sure they're going to tell us they can't handle her and we need to leave soon!

Would you work extra hours if you had to pay 67% tax on it? Thats without additional childcare, or commuting costs.

Hi
Spontaneously booked a solo holiday to Lake Garda in a couple of weeks. Desenzano.
B&B 4 days. Planning own route from airport (Verona). Train and taxi probably.
I'm a confident traveller and have done a couple of solo hols before, but they have been package type, beach short breaks,to very familiar resorts.
I have been to Italy a few times but always with DP and DC.
Any tips?
I'm think maybe I will be a bit lonely and haven't chosen the best place🤔
I don't speak the language ( do I need to be able to?!).

Hi,

I have just noticed there is already a "rate me" style thread going and this is purely coincidental, as I was coming on to say that I was recently rated in person, which was of course incredibly rude, as I didn't ask to be, but I was annoyed at myself! I was annoyed because I let a couple of teenage boys opinions on my level of attractiveness bother me. This is what happened...

I was at my local pub with my partner and teenage daughter. It was early doors, but a Friday night and a little more rowdy than usual. There was a table of 18 year old boys very close to us ( I heard them discussing their age - not a guess) I noticed one was looking at me a lot, to the point it made me quite uncomfortable and self conscious. I was trying to ignore and just engage with my partner and DD, but I heard him say very loudly "check her out". Then a couple of them changed seats to look directly at me and one then got up to go to the loo, looked at his mate and shrugged "nahhh".

It made me feel absolutely horrible in all honestly. I'm at that stage (42) where I've noticed I've become a bit invisible over the past few years, but was used to getting lots of attention before then. It's a weird transition, as I didn't always like the attention, but the invisibility seems so sudden and stark.

I was really cross with the guy who was staring at me, making me feeling so uncomfortable, but I suppose we've still be conditioned as women to think that if someone is saying you're attractive, that's a positive thing. To then be told (indirectly) that you're not, suddenly makes you question yourself again. Firstly, well what's wrong with me?? And then, hang on...why on earth do I care what some 18 year old boy thinks of me?! So I ended up judging myself twice!

Anyway, it's really stayed with me and I'm cross at myself for letting it.

I suspect lots of you can relate to this feeling?... Or am I just being absolutely ridiculous? 😬

What were they?
i have two girls, and I’m a fan in different names - but not made up names, IYKWIM.

when I was pregnant with my first I watched Moulin Rouge, and for quite a while I was convinced that Satine would be the perfect name, but my partner said no.
my second I was desperate for Vivienne, which in in itself is a gorgeous name, but combined with Satine seemed to follow a trend of ‘ladies of the night’ (pretty women) so my partner said no again.

whats the most out there names you considered for your children?

my top boys name was Moss. Not sure I’d have gone through with it.

I'm looking for a beach compatible tote bag for my 15 year old DD, for summer holiday, sturdy enough for heavier things like books and big water bottle. Budget only about £30 as it's a birthday present idea for someone else to give her, but they want a steer on style. Anyone's daughter got anything suitable you could share? I'm thinking something more canvas / sturdy but a bag not a basket style. This is ok but might be too 'floppy' https://www.fatface.com/style/su850912/w79571

I’m MOB later in the year but my plan to lose weight/get in shape is clearly not going to work out in time and I haven’t a clue what to wear that will be appropriate and feel ‘right’. I’d like to be both elegant and comfortable but that seems like an impossible combination.

I’m 5’2, a 16-18 with big boobs. I hate my arms and don’t have good legs. I don’t mind my boobs but realise they shouldn’t be taking centre stage on my child’s big day 😳

I don’t really suit the usual MOB type outfits - I did get a jumpsuit but it shows too much arm and I’m worried about going to the loo! I’ve bought nude sandals and clutch that I really like and they should go with most things.

Can anyone suggest something that ticks these boxes:

• Covers arms to at least elbow but doesn’t look wintery
• Long enough to hide legs but not so long I fall over it
• Goes with my shoes and bag
• Wedding colour scheme is green so I need to either avoid or complement
• Budget up to £150ish

Thank you!

I'm hoping for advice as I'm extremely worried.

I've lived with my father and been his main/sole carer for the past four years. Around six months ago, he had a fall and went into hospital where it was decided that he needed a care package 4 x daily to assist with personal care, meals etc. This helped greatly as I also work and was having to juggle all of this for him around working and looking after my 3 year old who I'm a single mum to.

Once carers were establised to get him up in the mornings, shower him, make meals, put him to bed etc, and he was used to the situation, I decided it was time for me to find my own property, to move out and make a permanent home for me and my DC, as I had been bearing a heavy burden being his carer for 4 years and my DC also deserved a home to call our own. It had been not only a heavy mental burden juggling everything but also physical, as he was having falls and I was having to single handeldly lift him up off the floor, and back onto his chair and this would often turn into him struggling against me, hitting out at me, telling me he would get police involved etc as it was "assault" according to him. Even things such as helping him walk to the toilet (he can manage to walk, but with a zimmer frame and is quite unsteady/unsafe), with me walking beside him and putting my hands on his shoulders and back to straighten him up so he that he was more steady and didn't fall, was met with him lashing out and shouting about it being "abuse". It was really difficult.

I bought a property in January and have been slowly spending more and more time at my new property as it was being done up. Over the past couple of months, he has been quite bitter and resentful at my moving out, saying that he'll hardly ever see my child, that I was "taking DC away from him", that he'll miss DC etc. But this was interspersed with us getting on fine. We do argue, a lot, we've always just been that way since I can remember. But no falling out has lasted more than a couple of hours.

Fast forward to last Wednesday, I called over to his with some shopping as I hadn't been over for a couple of days. The door was locked and lights were out. I knocked for ages but no answer. I called the care company office who advised me that he was safe but they couldn't tell me any more. Following this, I contacted the social work department; a social worker got back to me to advise that my dad didn't want to see me and asked me to stay away from his property. That was all the information they could give me and that's all i've heard since.

This evening, i had a missed call and a voicemail from the police, saying that its "nothing to worry about" but they will call back later on this evening, so could I please answer any calls.

I do suffer from anxiety and know that I tend to catastrophise but I am very much panicking now as contact from the police, coupled with social work having advised me that i've to stay away from my fathers property at his request, which sounds like a safeguarding issue, sounds like he has made some kind of serious allegation/s against me.

What can I expect from here? If he has made allegations against me, will I end up being arrested/charged? I'm sitting here panicking that I'm going to be arrested, go to court, put in prison etc. I have never abused him. Yes, verbally we argue a lot, but that is our way. It's also coupled with frustration and carer burnout to be honest. But I have most certainly not been abusive. I'm so worried that they will believe whatever these allegations are and that my entire life will end up being affected and ruined.

I’ve been going to an art class for eight weeks. Showed DH, DD1, DS1 and DM and DF what I did tonight and they were very dismissive of it and pointed out what was wrong with it.

I was actually pretty proud of it, and now I’m feeling a little upset. Everything they do I am positive about, and I just think it wouldn’t have hurt them to be nice about it.

But then I think I’m 50; I should be able to take criticism without getting upset.

AIBU to be upset by their comments?