AIBU to be frustrated by repeated wolf-themed gifts?

[Herecomes]

I am an animal lover, I am especially a dog person meaning I like wolves too if we’re talking wildlife. My mum has taken this to mean I’m obsessed with wolves - I’m really not.

Every year at Christmas she buys me something wolf related … it started off as huge framed pictures (often featuring native Americans too 😂) and in the end I had so many massive pictures piled up the spare room that I made a point of telling her I am no longer buying wall pictures as I don’t like a lot of stuff on the walls and I’ve ran out of space. She got the hint and stopped buying me pictures … instead she started buying me huge blankets, fleece bed covers etc, again featuring wolves howling at the moon, native Americans, wolf eyes staring out of dark trees etc 🤦‍♀️

I ended up with a big pile of fleece blankets that were just sat there collecting dust. In the end I asked her if she wanted any blankets as I’m getting rid of loads as I have far too many and don’t use them. She got the hint.

Now … as my birthday this year was approaching she asked me what size clothing I was. I told her. I joked to DH that I’ll probably end up with a wolf fleece jacket for my birthday … I was wrong … I got 3 wolf fleece jackets for my birthday.

I don’t get it!!! I’m in my 30s, she sees me every week … surely she can see that I don’t wear stuff like this?? It was funny at first but now its getting frustrating. She gets upset and offended easily so I’ve tried to treat lightly but come on …

What would you do?? Or do I just carry on accepting this stuff and lying that I like it to keep the peace?

Bizarre. But you’ll have to tell her that you’re not keen on wolves. I know the fleeces you mean. I wouldn’t want one, let alone three

@Herecomes I had this with a friend clearing his mother's house- she collected cat figurines. He offered I said no, he pushed, I said no.
Then I said "I like actual cats not things made to look like cats or with pictures of cats on"
It stopped

I’m sorry to have a laugh at your expense OP but this did make me giggle!

Cant you get in there, in advance of birthday’s and Xmas and say “ooh my birthday is coming up, if you’d like any ideas I could do with <insert more suitable gift here”

There is a whole facebook page dedicated to those hideous wolf coats.

You need to be clear with your mum, not just hint, but be blunt that you really don't like wolf items and to stop buying them. Would she take offence if you made suggestions of things you would like instead?

I’d just say well before the next gift-giving occasion: “I’ve got enough wolf stuff now, thanks”.

Im actually on that group 😂😂 the wolf fleece society? 🤣 that’s why I joked to DH that that’s what I’ll end up with, you couldn’t make it up 😂

She takes offence so easily 🤦‍♀️

So use your words and tell her! Saves her wasting money on something you dislike!

Wolf stuff 😂😂 that phrase alone makes me laugh. Don’t get me wrong, I like wolves … in the sense that if I saw them in the wild I’d be pretty excited but not to the point where I sit there thinking about them whilst having a cup of tea.

You don’t know her. She’ll instantly take offence and then go on about the time I told her I didn’t like her gifts for years

Tell her what you DO want instead of just telling her she's got it wrong. I have a relative that has a 'subtle' way of telling me she hated what I bought her. It causes massive anxiety for me every Christmss yet when I ask her what she does want I always get 'oh I'm not sure' .

Could you tell.her something that you do want for your birthday so she gets that. Or maybe re-gift her a wolf item - oh gosh I'm so sorry mum, was that one you gave me? I get so many gifted to me I can't keep track of where all the wolf things come from...

Did you know there’s actually a Facebook site mocking this type of garment ? A guy who lives in my town is featured regularly on there !
Maybe you could show her this and tell her that it’s put you off wolves & tell her that you’re into Dior or Prada instead !

Oh god I hate this. I had the same situation but with cats. I'm a cat lover, but by that I mean I enjoy having one cat as a pet. That's it. My mum thinks that means I want cat themed clothing, cushions, blankets, bags and figurines. I don't want even one of these things, and I'd look completely crazy if I wore/used all of them.

I solved the problem by saying I don't want to exchange gifts anymore, which is true even apart from the cat thing. So maybe try this.

How can you be frustrated about wolves when people are giving them reviews like this?

https://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B0FN65SGQP/ref=cm_cr_dp_d_show_all_btm?ie=UTF8

I'm sorry OP I'm pissing myself at this 😂

I would start asking directly for a specific gift. And drop the strong hints well in advance, to head off any more purchases of wolf scarves, wolf mugs, wolf t shirts, "Beware! Wolf Lives Here" signs etc 😂

Years ago on MN these used to be referred to as "Wolef fleeces"

I agree you need to make some really heavy hints or overt requests for non-wolef things near your next birthday/Christmas.

@LeaderBee "Got me banned from the gym" 😂😂

Flog it all on ebay and buy yourself something you really want. Then have a quiet chat with her, with particular reference to the desirability of gift vouchers.

If she gets offended, either just let her take offence or quietly sell it all on Vinted 😂 Or casually mention how you hate wolves with a passion and they’re the worst canine in your opinion

My mum wore a headscarf once when seeing her in-laws because she was having a bad hair day. She proceeded to receive headscarves every birthday and Christmas for my parents 23yrs of marriage. Not just two a year. It was a headscarf from six different people. She felt guilty getting rid of them and would occasionally wear one, which then reinforced their belief that she loved headscarves.

I was about to post Wolf Fleece Society but see it's already been covered 😂

Maybe you can guide her towards things that she can buy you that you might actually like - 'ooh, Mum, look at that fabulous macrame pot holder - I'd love one like that!' (example only, you might hate macrame).

I had an ex who thought I liked owls. I mean, I do, but only a normal amount. He would buy me anything that had an owl on it. He even bought me stuffed owls. Yes, they are as hideous as you imagine. I TRIED asking him for other things but he'd keep on with the owls...

He had to go. Hopefully you can persuade your mum to see sense.

Then find a wolf stuff lover who wants the spares because nothing will change until you tell her directly.

What happens if you explicitly ask her for something else for birthdays/Xmas?

Tell her you are at capacity for wolf paraphernalia but that youd love her to donate to a wolf charity on your behalf next time or that you are saving for a wolf experience/ holiday to see them in thr wild and would like the cash towards that instead.

Humans change their interests though, say on ive
gone off wolf things now, I actually would love ‘x/y/z’

Explain you like dogs, you like wolves but don’t want every wolf related gifts anymore. No need to let her realise you never liked them.
That or tell her you are really into something else which will be useful and not so overwhelming.