To be upset no one liked my painting?

[Whoopdedoop]

I’ve been going to an art class for eight weeks. Showed DH, DD1, DS1 and DM and DF what I did tonight and they were very dismissive of it and pointed out what was wrong with it.

I was actually pretty proud of it, and now I’m feeling a little upset. Everything they do I am positive about, and I just think it wouldn’t have hurt them to be nice about it.

But then I think I’m 50; I should be able to take criticism without getting upset.

AIBU to be upset by their comments?

Well done for doing something you love / learning a new skill. Are you comfortable sharing your painting on here so people can give you their opinion? Art isn't for everyone and some don't understand how hard it can be.

I eouldn't expect (or want) them to lie or say only good things about it, but I would expect them to find something positive to say.

Sorry to hear your entire family are not very nice people. For them, the quality is irrelevant - your wasting time seeking personal fulfilment outside the home has robbed them of services that they feel they ought to be entitled to, so it is necessary to be dismissive to crush any plans you might have to do more like this

I think it takes a lot of guts to try something new and keep going with it, so well done.

I'm sorry they couldn't find sonething positive to say, I can understand why you would feel disappointed by that.

Miserable buggers.

Enjoy the process, not the result!

Very rude. My DH is the “honest” type but quite frankly he can be a real critical AH and I think sometimes the dynamic has flowed into our kids. In your situation I would expect them at the very least to fein interest and notice the hard work that I put in. I am sure that you are aware that after just 6 weeks you aren’t a master.

They were out of line. Now it is up to you if you bother to call them out on it. I think that often the mum of the family gets dismissed compared with dad’s and kids and they forget that we have feelings too. Or you risk them doubling down and saying worse things.

Are they the sort of people who can't see the point of doing something unless you're going to be the top 1% or something

So no point learning the piano unless you become a famous musician

My family are like that. I find it ridiculous.

you enjoyed your class and you're happy with what you did - that's great

Don't show them your work in future
You will know when you've progressed

By the way, my friend mum has been doing watercolour painting for ages

She really enjoys it

She said she still doesn't feel like she should go to class because most people are higher standard than she is

Doesn't matter, the point is she loves it and it keeps her going in retirement

I like sewing im crap at, it but i really enjoy it, and i dont care what others have to say either.

You've spent too long on MN.

I hope you frame your work and hang it on the wall with pride.

Sod ‘em, OP. Losing yourself in the process is the best reward in the early stages. Do it for you and keep going.

Well done for trying something new

I would be impressed if I saw it - I can’t draw /paint for toffee - even my stickmen look awful - a 3 year old could do better

keep going and sod them

I am not going to say i like something if I dont, but I wont comment unless asked

No one has to like what you do except you but if you did ask and didn't want honesty dont ask

Yeah, I can understand how you feel, but there's a couple of things to pick apart here.

Firstly, it doesnt matter how good or how crap you are, family should support you in your endeavours. If you can't rely on family, who can you rely on. You need to point this out to them, and point out that you've only been at this 8 weeks. You also need to point out how disappointed you are at not being supported.

However, secondly, you need to be able to take criticism. This means that you need to listen and accept what they are saying. Im not in a position to say what you heard, so they could have been trying to support you without encouraging what they (may have) considered to be a lost cause. Think back on what they said. If they were rude and dismissive, stand up for yourself. Tell them they were rude, and while you can accept criticism you are not going to accept rudeness or being dismissed. If they were supportive but wanted to say they didn't think there was any talent there, accept it. You are however perfectly entitled to say "that's your opinion, but I get more than just the artwork out of this, please support me".

Only you can decide what the bones of this are, but I wish you all the confidence, realism and thick skin that you need.

I think your family should know better than to pick apart an amateur's painting, especially when the artist is someone they presumably care about and who has supported them through the years. I wouldn't want them to lie, but they also don't have to point out any flaws they notice, unless you were prodding them for constructive criticism, and even then it should be delivered with tact. It's okay to communicate that to them, if you feel like it.

On the other hand, unfortunately, when you share your art, you have to be prepared that some people may not be tactful or polite (though I think it's fair to expect better from your own family!). Incidentally, painting is one of my hobbies, too, and because I definitely do not want criticism (and find even kindly meant compliments awkward to accept), I don't actively show my paintings to many people. DH sees them sometimes, and I've used some of them to make cards (just for close family), but it's really just something I do for myself, for my own enjoyment. I only put photos online in places where comments/reactions can be disabled, because I just don't want to have to deal with anyone else's opinion on my art, positive or negative. You don't need to be objectively good to enjoy painting, anyway. If you want feedback or to sell your work, of course, you'll have to have a thicker skin than I do!

@Whoopdedoop if you like it keep doing it

It's shitty of them! I could never criticise someone's work like that. I'd know how crushed they'd be.

Reminds me of the time I gave a tape recording of me singing to my brother to critique, genuinely expecting him to think it was really good. He came back with "don't give up the day job" 😬lol. Another time I played him a piano piece and he said I didn't put any feeling into it. It's true though, I don't have any talent. I was gutted at the time but now I can laugh about it. Sucks when you really want to be a creative type. No one thought much of Van Gogh whilst he was alive did they?

Alot of the time people won't step out their comfort zone to try something new and won't be happy for you, to try and make themselves feel better

Well done for doing it

It's hard to comment too much as can't see the painting and haven't heard the criticism

They’re bloody rude OP.

I’m a beginner artist myself. An artist friend shared a reel with me on instagram where the painter says something like “stop asking yourself ‘is this good?’ and instead, ask yourself ‘is this good for me?’” This and other similarly encouraging posts have helped me put my expectations to one side and just focus on and enjoy creating.

Yeah, I'd be a bit annoyed... I don't want false compliments, but any normal person knows not to disparage someone who has just started something.

I've also just started a new creative hobby (musical rather than art) and I know full well that only a few weeks in, I'm pretty rubbish, of course I am after such a short time. But when I play I get comments from my partner pointing out how improved it is over last time.. which is encouraging and true, without pretending that it is amazing, which it obviously isn't.

I would expect most emotionally mature people to be able to understand this, but there are always people who just enjoy putting others down.

Are they all professionals, making their livings as artists? 🤔

Completely agree. Don't show them in future if they are going to be rude, and it sound like gang mentality. It is for you, not them. Their loss. Keep going if you enjoy it xx

This made me think!

I am like this with myself and the opposite with other people!