BACK STORY - ONLY READ IF YOU'RE INTERESTED - It's my daughter's graduation (MSc) in July. The last time I officially saw my (stbex)H was almost 2 years ago at her BSc graduation which fell exactly a month after him informing me that he no longer loved me and was leaving me after 33 years together (26 married) for a much younger Thai lady with smaller boobs, and a smaller bum! (Purely for a historical correctness I did see him month later for the same daughter's 21st where, unfortunately, I begged him to reconsider)😳😥. When I got home I swore I
a) would never do that again (and haven't)
b) wouldn't see him again - unreasonable cos of our kids but have insisted on it so far!

It's now DD2's second graduation. She has 3 tickets. I've said that unfortunately whilst I am definitely getting there I'm still not ready to go through that again. Equally, despite both of us trying really hard, she really felt the tension at her first graduation and doesn't want to have to go through that again either.

I've backed out and said to let her father have the day (he works in Iraq - though obviously not at the moment) so she doesn't get to see him that often and I am doing my best to accommodate etc and actually we've reached a point where we co-parent via text really well (So I do the bulk but he occasionally steps in - but having been the child of divorced parents I have reinforced, to our kids, that they must have time with their father and that both of us love them). But she wants us both. So instead I've suggested that she spend the day with him and I will sneak in and watch her graduate. She's agreed to this. BUT this IS NOT AN AIBU - I am getting there but am frustrated at how slow this all is - I was really. blindsided by it all. It doesn't help that we're still not divorced (he's fighting everything) and thus I'm still in limbo hell.

READ FROM HERE FOR HELPING ME FIND AN OUTFIT.
I need something that makes me believe I look like a million pounds. I will be 57 on the day and am 5ft 3 with a very short torso (so no outfits that are belted around the waist as they simply don't suit me). I have large breasts (30 GG) which can easily look awful (having breast fed 4 kids I HAVE to wear a bra as they now point almost straight down). This means I look good in Empire Line OR body form.

Being short means that many midi dresses are actually maxi on me, but I'm good at hemming. I bought this:

Which made me feel wonderful. But it appears a) she's mortified/horrified as someone my age shouldn't be wearing this (so obviously felt I looked like mutton) and b) she's wearing either yellow or green. She's actually gone and bought something almost identical.

With the currently sunshine (hopefully) I tan very easily and am going olive skinned.

My budget is a maximum of £150.00

I really can't find anything that will make me feel wonderful.

Hi all,
been a silent lurker but now need advice or to be told ‘ you are being unreasonable’

We (partner and 3 children) own a lovely home and both wok hard and have a presentable home because of this.
In my partners culture they often bring their parents in with them, to give a multigenerational upbringing to their children. My MIL is lovely, can’t do any more for us and is the best you could wish for, however, we have built her a garden house (like a static caravan) and she is slowly wrecking it. She is a hoarder (always has been but we never visited her, she always done the visiting) and is making our home embarrassing. She leaves rubbish/food/dirt everywhere, parks her car whenever she likes rather than considerately often blocking us in or out and is just very very lazy so buys lots of food and items, never packs them away, then goes and buys more. Doesn’t sweep, lets food rot, you name it!

She doesn’t pay anything to contribute and has the family home she is renting out, although she is in her 70’s so managed by her children she receives the finances. Everytime we go in the garden, i’m met with rubbish and smells which wasn’t a problem before she moved in, making me now not want to go outside which inadvertently means she takes up ‘more’ space as it’s unused. I’m talking filled bin bags that haven’t found the big bin yet, but then get ripped and go everywhere.

if I had my way, she would move out. i’ve tried being nice and telling her to clean, DH has also although he is a people pleaser. She is a hoarder and genuinely see’s no wrong with how she lives.

YABU- it’s his mum and his culture, don’t argue try and live with it
YANBU- ifs your home she has moved into. She needs to live how you do….

Thanks

We have a junior in our office who’s only been with us about three months and is still on probation, where the expectation is mostly office-based work. They briefly mentioned in passing at one point that they might travel overseas, but there was never any proper discussion or approval before the trip was booked.

They’ve now come back and advised the trip is already booked and confirmed for nearly a month overseas, in a time zone 10 hours away. They proposed a range of adjusted working arrangements, including shortened hours and overnight work, so they can continue working remotely while away.

I haven’t approved the shortened hours or alternative arrangements and have asked them to demonstrate how they realistically intend to maintain service levels and cope with working nights while effectively on holiday overseas.

I am a lot WTAF to four weeks of leave for someone who has only been with the business a matter of months and is still in probation.

AIBU to think this is request is out of order?

I ordered a piece of jewellery from Etsy for my niece which was due via Royal Mail special delivery on 8th May, unfortunately my DP missed the delivery so we asked for it to be delivered to local post office and it was due there on 9th May.

One week later no update at all on Royal Mail tracking and the occasion the item was ordered for has now been and gone, so I asked for a refund from the seller on Etsy.

At first he just said he won’t refund on the basis my DP missed the delivery. Then he said he will refund if he gets the item back but is refusing to look into it with Royal Mail and told me that’s my problem. I called the post office and they said they don’t have it. Seller has now also closed his Etsy shop until 24th May and put a message up saying messages will not be responded to during that time, he also explained that even if it does turn up I can’t return the item now as it needs a signature and he won’t be there to sign.

I have opened a case with Etsy and waiting to see if they will refund me, assume Royal Mail have cocked up here and lost the item. If they don’t refund me I will have to try a chargeback via Amex.

Any advice on what to do here? It wasn’t a custom item just off the shelf, value £200, and postage was free, AIBU to want a full refund at this point and seller can sort it out with Royal Mail? I feel like the seller is doing everything possible to keep my money regardless of what happens to the item and I’m starting to panic Etsy are going to side with the seller.

3rd baby but first two were pretty much exclusively breastfed.Really want to combination feed this time for various reasons.
Have basic knowledge of prepping bottle feeds but how on earth do people manage out and about- heating, cooling bottles all at once? (As know the water has to go in fresh and boiling)
I can just envisage myself or DH with a screaming baby, trying not to spill boiling water everywhere then trying to placate baby for ages whilst (somehow?) Trying to cool it down? Know there are flasks to store the boiling water in, but how do people manage the cooling process promptly and easily as possible whilst out and about?
I know cafes can provide jugs of cold water etc to cool bottles down in, but what about if say DH took baby for a walk for example and they needed a feed?

Is this normal lol

two little kids (2 and 5) never know what to do with them or how to fill the time. Everywhere is busy and expensive. But if you stay home it’s awful.

Apologies for not using the lingo. I have recently found out by looking at my husband's phone that he has close female colleague at work. I have read all the texts (not that many and mainly about people at work) and his teams chat which is usually every working day they exchange around 20-30 messages just generally about work people or having banter. He has never mentioned her and she is younger and single. She seems to be one of his closest friend in the office and the group of friends he has often go out together during and after work to the pub. I am currently pregnant and my reaction has not been rational. I have confronted him and he assured me it just slipped his mind and he has openly let me read all the messages. The messages themselves don't bother me just the fact he didn't tell me.
Should I be worried?

Hi mid 30s. Since dd was born 4 years ago, my skin has been a nightmare. I keep getting redness on my cheeks like this. I used azaelic acid for a while, but seems less effective now. I use Erborian anti redness cc which covers it up for a bit. I also use a balm cleanser and byoma moisturiser. It's really getting me down. I am going to ask my GP but has anyone got any recommendations please?

I once asked a member of the Senior Team if she had dyed her hair.
Apparently this was very rude.

Not stylish AT ALL but I have finally found a housecoat after months of searching. I have a white cat with longish fur and a black cat so everything I wear in the house is instantly a cat fur magnet and I have spent a fortune on sticky rollers and invariably go out looking like a furry mess....lovely.
I had given up hope of ever finding one. I remember my grandmother wearing one round the house. She was incredibly stylish and well dressed and would never have exposed her nice clothes to children, animals or housework but would take it off if she was going out or expecting visitors.
I think they are due for a comeback 😀

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09RPX62RS/ref=syn_sd_offsite_mobileweb_50?ie=UTF8&psc=1&aref=z12Im60v0s&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zZF9vZmZzaXRlX21vYmlsZXdlYg&tag=dradisplay0bb-21&th=1

My dd17 has struggled with the school environment since secondary. Now in a small independent 6th form, but social issues. She has ADHD and ASD. We went on holiday last year to a warm country where she has relatives. Suddenly she was swimming daily, sleeping on time, waking refreshed and able to read! She has A Level mocks in Feb 2027. WIBU to take her back to the sunny place for, say 4 weeks from late Dec to late Jan, so she can study, then come back to do the mocks in Feb? She struggles with winter at the best of times. Has anyone done this? Should I ask school for permission and see what they say?

YABU: don't take her out of school in term time
YANBU:she is not CSA, so take her out, it will do her more good than harm

Edit: I mean 6th form in the title!

I follow someone on social media who always seems really nice and down to earth, and she has what looks like a lovely husband. I only recently realised she already had children when they met, and he’s completely taken them on as his own even though he doesn’t have children himself. They’ve been married for years and genuinely seem very happy.

I know social media only shows the good bits, but I can’t stop feeling envious of her life and what she’s found. Not just the relationship itself, but that someone loved her enough to fully embrace her children too. It feels incredibly lucky.

I think what’s upset me is realising how much I wanted that for myself. I wish I’d met someone kind who loved me properly and accepted my children as part of the package, and built a happy family life with us. Instead I’ve been single for years and haven’t had even the slightest bit of interest from anyone in such a long time. Seeing her life has really brought home the fact that it just never happened for me, and that it probably never will.

I feel mean even admitting I’m jealous because she’s obviously done nothing wrong, but seeing it has really got to me. AIBU to feel like this?

I have recently started taking creatine and am finding it so beneficial. I am going away for 5 nights next week and want to take some with me. The packet it comes in is massive. Would I be stupid to take some in a small plastic bag like this in my hand luggage ( I don’t have a hold bag) or will I be detained?

I genuinely did not understand before how much mental energy it can take. You spend years being told to “eat healthy”, “move more”, “it’s just calories in versus calories out”, and then suddenly your body seems to change the rules without informing you. You can eat what feels like practically nothing and still gain weight from one takeaway, one dessert, one slightly normal weekend. Meanwhile people around you are saying “just be in a calorie deficit” as if you have not already reduced everything enjoyable.

It is not even vanity for many women. It is the exhausting feeling that maintaining your weight now requires permanent restriction and hypervigilance. You start mentally calculating every handful of nuts, every spoon of oil, every piece of bread, because the margin for error feels tiny.

What makes it worse is how invisible it is. Menopause is discussed in terms of hot flushes and periods stopping, but less about the sheer frustration of feeling your metabolism and body composition shift while being expected to behave as though nothing has changed.

Yes I exercise and I do weight training as well.

I know weight gain is not the worst thing in the world, but the constant mental negotiation around food can become draining. Sometimes it feels like menopause means your body now demands lifelong restraint just to stay the same size.

I know it is not like this for ALL women.

How ready do you get to do the school run? Assuming you are going back home afterwards (I WFH).

As in which of the following do you do?

Shower
Dress in something better than leggings
Hair
Make up
etc

I tend to be quite minimal - I’m always dressed in proper clean clothes (not PJs!) but beyond that I don't make much effort.

I've been seeing this phrase a lot over the years, about how 97% of women can breastfeed and all the rest of the people who say they can't just need support.

I would guess that 97% of women can probably produce milk (although I wouldn't be surprised if it was lower) but there is so much more to breastfeeding than the mum producing milk which never seem to be mentioned. Mums with disabilities/medical conditions, babies with disabilities/medical conditions, babies who are born prematurely, mums separated from their babies and mums on medication that means they can't breastfeed.

When people gaily spout that 97% of women can breastfeed I find is so annoying and inaccurate. It's usually the same people who want the number of c-sections reduced as well and think that everyone can give birth with no interventions, they just need to stay mobile and ignore the nasty doctors.

I love mascara and I want to try something new.

I like Tarte lights, camera, action, Benefit bad gal, benefit roller lash and the maybelline curl bounce. I have long lashes anyway but like a lengthening mascara and something that's not too hard to take off.

I just opened a new tarte one and it's fully dried out so I need something new.

I'd love to hear what you're favourites are so I can try a few!

Recently Ive watched Life Begins and Fat Friends. I love the absolute normalness of it all. Very ordinary, British and nostalgic. Whay else would I like?

Just as it says in the title really.
Everything seemed fine until around 7 weeks ago. Then out of nowhere my husband accused me of being controlling, saying that over the course of our relationship, I had stopped him doing things he enjoyed and that I had said some hurtful things during arguments, which we were said in the heat of the
moment.
I held my hands up to saying hurtful things and said it came from a place where I felt as though there has been no consideration for me and as though my feelings aren’t worth anything. He often stays in bed on a morning while I sort out our kids who are all still young and I have said I have expectations that he helps out on a morning too. As for the controlling him, I have said to him over the years that sometimes it’d be nice if he would miss football for the odd weekend so we could do things as a family or have expressed my dislike at him coming in from a night out at 5am when we have children and other responsibilities.
He has mentioned occasions from 10+ years ago where I’ve asked him to forego football to spend the day with me after we’d been at work all week and I honestly don’t know how he can even remember specifics from that far back.
We both work full time and I work nights predominantly due to childcare.
Around 6 weeks ago he said he had hit his limit and wasn’t sure if he wanted to continue with our relationship. This threw me into a very dark place and I said I would take a step back in terms of losing my temper when I feel like I’m not being heard, which I’ve done, although he said this isn’t enough. I’m now on antidepressants, signed off sick from work and have a therapy appointment booked.
He has said he is done and is now looking for somewhere else to live but refuses to leave our home (rented not bought) until he has found somewhere. He has turned so cold towards me and acts like he hates me. I go from feeling devastated to angry and at this point feel as though I’m stuck in some awful limbo.
I’ve been in touch with a solicitor but was just hoping others who have been in the same boat could give me words of wisdom that things will feel less dark in time?
Thank you

As the title says. DH away abroad with some friends. Checked life 360 this morning and showed he had spent 59 minutes in a Thai massage place. Took all the screenshots and sent a friend. It’s not on Google but on street view with a number. It’s not looking good is it??

I have had a very intense year. I worked hard, got an extra qualification that allowed us to move into a better rental flat in a better area so my children could be in a catchment for a better secondary school. I worked 3 jobs throughout the week and then studied in cafes between them. My partner earns a good salary too but until recently we were not able to save anything at all as everything was going on bills. Now we have a tiny bit of spare money (we haven’t been in this position ever).

I have recently sold an expensive item that was gifted to me by my grandma before she passed away. It was an expensive bag really beautiful but completely useless for me and my lifestyle. I sold it for 3000 pounds. I would really like to use this money on myself this summer . I have gone through 2 pregnancies, postpartum depression, loss of my family members. sleepless nights, endless house moves and constant lack of extra money. I just want to treat myself and invest into myself after all the hard work. I feel I constantly give to others and have given up a little on how I look/dress etc. My husband doesn’t mind it at all although we could have probably used it on another family holiday instead or started saving for a house deposit.

Aibu to think that sometimes it is healthy to just treat yourself. Also if you had a spare 3000 what would you do for yourself?. On my wish list is some nice higher quality clothes that I can mix and match easily and look simple but stylish, a new haircut and a high quality dentist to get my front 2 slightly chipped teeth bonded and teeth whitening.

I tend to pay my credit card off in full each month so I never pay interest but it’s made me wonder how common that actually is. Given how many people carry credit card balances, it feels like always clearing it might not be the norm.

AIBU?

'm seriously considering going away with just my biokids at the end of the month. Technically it's not a holiday, and more visiting my mother, but she lives near the coast and we'd stay at a caravan site.

My SS has been absolutely awful to my biokids lately, and thats in a large house. I dread him coming over. We've even had social involvement because of his lies (no further action). The caravan living area isn't much bigger than the living room at home. And they would all be in the same box room at bedtimes. Given how awful he's been to them, I can only imagine how much worse it would be in a cramped space and I don't want to do it.

I'm caught between a rock and a hard place though. DH doesn't want to miss our baby's first holiday, but says that going without SS isnt fair, even though SS has gone away without my BKs. But I feel like thats my only choice. Either he comes with us without SS, or he misses OBs first holiday.

It feels like our lives have been put on hold because of SS. We only do actual events when hes with us. The zoo, the cinema, soft play centers, boat rides, etc. But SS gets to do all of this when hes not with us, and then tells BKs that we must not like them because we havent done it with them.

I miss my Mum. I want to go see her. I've seen her twice in the last year and that was only for a few hours each time. Once shortly after baby was born and she came to us, and the other time was a day trip to where she lives. But because of the travel times it's not like we spent the whole day together. I used to go 3-4 times a year for at least a week at a time, and now we get rare day trips and phone calls.

If it wasn't for SS lies and behaviour towards BKs, I wouldn't mind him coming with us. BKs BD disappeared 2 years ago, so it's not like they get to do anything with him either.

Anyone ordered this yet?

Lots of full sized products, looking forward to getting mine on Saturday!

I have a brother who is older who I rarely see we both work complete opposite schedules so rarely see each other I have tried to make an effort to see my 2 nieces (4 and 7) but it’s never reciprocated he never replies to messages or answers his phone, last saw him xmas last year and his wife (my SIL) is not the easiest person to get on with. The reason I am posting is that I’m wanted to stop giving gifts for bdays and Xmas as we have to buy for 2 and we only have 1 child (9 year old male). I always ask what the girls want but get the same answer ‘just money’ when my son was younger we were grateful for whatever they gave and never asked for anything specific. I have bought the youngest expensive dolls like Annabell and my generation and the oldest Lego friends sets, always get the same sarcastic comments after like oh yeah they liked them for 5 minutes, never get a thank you or nothing. Last Christmas my son got a cheap slime set what was on offer in Aldi and a colouring set?! ( he was 8 at the time and hasn’t been into colouring for years) I still thanked her for them but never get thanks back. His bday is in 2 weeks and I’m tempted to tell her to just not bother and I’ll do the same, fed up of making an effort choosing nice gifts and it never being appreciated, thoughts?

like I said above we’re grateful for whatever he gets tbh I don’t expect anything tbh. I don’t begrudge giving money but don’t like being told to give it, iv never once asked for money for my son who’s significantly older,