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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to spend all the money on something for myself. If so, what would you spend it on?

325 replies

Hellosunshine92 · 15/05/2026 18:01

I have had a very intense year. I worked hard, got an extra qualification that allowed us to move into a better rental flat in a better area so my children could be in a catchment for a better secondary school. I worked 3 jobs throughout the week and then studied in cafes between them. My partner earns a good salary too but until recently we were not able to save anything at all as everything was going on bills. Now we have a tiny bit of spare money (we haven’t been in this position ever).

I have recently sold an expensive item that was gifted to me by my grandma before she passed away. It was an expensive bag really beautiful but completely useless for me and my lifestyle. I sold it for 3000 pounds. I would really like to use this money on myself this summer . I have gone through 2 pregnancies, postpartum depression, loss of my family members. sleepless nights, endless house moves and constant lack of extra money. I just want to treat myself and invest into myself after all the hard work. I feel I constantly give to others and have given up a little on how I look/dress etc. My husband doesn’t mind it at all although we could have probably used it on another family holiday instead or started saving for a house deposit.

Aibu to think that sometimes it is healthy to just treat yourself. Also if you had a spare 3000 what would you do for yourself?. On my wish list is some nice higher quality clothes that I can mix and match easily and look simple but stylish, a new haircut and a high quality dentist to get my front 2 slightly chipped teeth bonded and teeth whitening.

OP posts:
DisforDarkChocolate · 15/05/2026 18:03

If you never invest in yourself others won't think you're worth it.

Enjoy the money.

pizzaHeart · 15/05/2026 18:04

Congratulations on your achievements! Treat yourself you deserve it.
By the way your “spending” plan sounds good.

Fidgety31 · 15/05/2026 18:05

I would spend it on paying off my debts 😂
or maybe another holiday . I’m not into material stuff.

Definitely dental work if that needs doing though . I’ve needed a filling for ages and can’t afford it .

AltitudeCheck · 15/05/2026 18:14

I'd probably take OH out for dinner or tickets to a gig or buy him something (and would hope he'd do the same if he got a little windfall in the future) the rest of your plans sound spot on

Hellosunshine92 · 15/05/2026 18:15

Oh also forgot I always wanted to try these indoor cycling classes when lots of people cycle together whilst listening to music it always looks like so much fun! I have been delaying because of the pressures to do all these other ‘more important’ things in my life. I just feel like I only have one life too and deserve to look after myself as well as others.

OP posts:
Allonthesametrain · 15/05/2026 18:17

Absolutely have a treat! It doesn't need to be the whole amount bit splurge a bit. Xx

ThejoyofNC · 15/05/2026 18:17

I would definitely treat yourself but I think you need to check out the cost of cosmetic dentistry as that could eat your whole budget.

TheignT · 15/05/2026 18:17

I think treating yourself is great but if I suddenly had £3k I'd also want to treat DH and kids. There's enough to do that even if it isn't big things for them.

Hellosunshine92 · 15/05/2026 18:19

AltitudeCheck · 15/05/2026 18:14

I'd probably take OH out for dinner or tickets to a gig or buy him something (and would hope he'd do the same if he got a little windfall in the future) the rest of your plans sound spot on

Well that is exactly the thing.. this money didn’t come from my salary, it was a little something left from my grandma to me. I do not want to spend it on treating my husband or anyone else as I do it daily through cooking nice meals/baking/arranging interesting things and trips out anyway. That is why yes it feels ‘selfish’ to blow it all on myself but then again perhaps this feeling is unhealthy in itself.

OP posts:
TheignT · 15/05/2026 18:19

Hellosunshine92 · 15/05/2026 18:15

Oh also forgot I always wanted to try these indoor cycling classes when lots of people cycle together whilst listening to music it always looks like so much fun! I have been delaying because of the pressures to do all these other ‘more important’ things in my life. I just feel like I only have one life too and deserve to look after myself as well as others.

Actually I'd find the time more valuable than the money. The classes sound ideal.

Hellosunshine92 · 15/05/2026 18:21

TheignT · 15/05/2026 18:17

I think treating yourself is great but if I suddenly had £3k I'd also want to treat DH and kids. There's enough to do that even if it isn't big things for them.

It is not really enough with a high quality dentist alone (initial appointment +all the other things) costing 2k. So this leaves just 1000.

OP posts:
TheignT · 15/05/2026 18:21

Hellosunshine92 · 15/05/2026 18:19

Well that is exactly the thing.. this money didn’t come from my salary, it was a little something left from my grandma to me. I do not want to spend it on treating my husband or anyone else as I do it daily through cooking nice meals/baking/arranging interesting things and trips out anyway. That is why yes it feels ‘selfish’ to blow it all on myself but then again perhaps this feeling is unhealthy in itself.

I suppose we are all different. Id get pleasure treating DH and kids as well as myself but if you wouldn't then spend it all on yourself.

midgetastic · 15/05/2026 18:21

I would treat myself indeed but I always made sure everyone had a treat too. And if it was me I would prefer a holiday than new clothes and a haircut. So each to their own

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 15/05/2026 18:24

Sounds great! Buying some good quality, classic clothes is an investment because they'll last for years and you'll spend less in the future. The teeth will make you feel confident.

£3k doesn't go far really. This week I've spent £1k on a crown for my cracked tooth, £400 on physio because I've put my back out and £160 in M and S.

TheignT · 15/05/2026 18:24

Hellosunshine92 · 15/05/2026 18:21

It is not really enough with a high quality dentist alone (initial appointment +all the other things) costing 2k. So this leaves just 1000.

Depends what you want. I must have little imagination as I can't think what I'd spend it on but I'm not into "stuff" which others probably are. I would get dental work done if that was an issue.

Gloriia · 15/05/2026 18:25

If money is that tight that you needed to have 3 jobs and you don't have any savings I'd keep it for emergencies. 3k is nothing really in the grand scheme of things but will obviously come in handy towards emergencies like car or household repairs. The things you list like constantly looking after others are all just part of life. Get your dh to pull his weight a bit more.

I'd get the chipped teeth capped then keep the rest for emergencies tbh.

Hellosunshine92 · 15/05/2026 18:26

midgetastic · 15/05/2026 18:21

I would treat myself indeed but I always made sure everyone had a treat too. And if it was me I would prefer a holiday than new clothes and a haircut. So each to their own

I have worked really hard and for example have been wearing the same 2 pairs of shoes and trousers for 4 years. I wouldn’t want to travel anywhere in the clothes that I currently have.
The problem is that it seems like 3K is a lot of money and you can treat yourself and everyone else but it is actually not. It is either a 6 days holiday in Europe for us all or for example I get my teeth fixed that will hopefully last for 10 years and really make a difference to how I feel about myself (it is something I always wanted to do with a bit of extra money).

OP posts:
Statsquestion1 · 15/05/2026 18:27

How much savings do you have as a family?

Hellosunshine92 · 15/05/2026 18:28

Gloriia · 15/05/2026 18:25

If money is that tight that you needed to have 3 jobs and you don't have any savings I'd keep it for emergencies. 3k is nothing really in the grand scheme of things but will obviously come in handy towards emergencies like car or household repairs. The things you list like constantly looking after others are all just part of life. Get your dh to pull his weight a bit more.

I'd get the chipped teeth capped then keep the rest for emergencies tbh.

We do not drive cars as always lived very centrally easily accessible by public transport. We do not owe our own house and have only now got to a stage of being able to put some monthly income aside for a deposit.

OP posts:
VanGoSunflowers · 15/05/2026 18:28

You don’t need to justify yourself! Your DH is fine with it, it’s your money and so you should spend it how you see fit

Turnitoffnonagain · 15/05/2026 18:30

Definitely get your teeth sorted, as you say this is a proper and good investment in yourself. Spend the rest on some new clothes. If I were your gran it's what I would want for you. 🤗

Hellosunshine92 · 15/05/2026 18:30

Statsquestion1 · 15/05/2026 18:27

How much savings do you have as a family?

I have mentioned before that we have never been in a position to put anything aside as do many many families these days. We both worked hard and got promotions/new roles this year as a result of our hard work. So we should be able to start putting a little bit aside now.

OP posts:
Gloriia · 15/05/2026 18:31

Hellosunshine92 · 15/05/2026 18:28

We do not drive cars as always lived very centrally easily accessible by public transport. We do not owe our own house and have only now got to a stage of being able to put some monthly income aside for a deposit.

Yes that's fine but oif your don't have much savings you've still nothing to fall back on have you?
Loads of dentists do financial plans anyway so you don't even need to blow it all on that. Get a bit of bonding and keep the rest would be my advice.

Statsquestion1 · 15/05/2026 18:31

Hellosunshine92 · 15/05/2026 18:30

I have mentioned before that we have never been in a position to put anything aside as do many many families these days. We both worked hard and got promotions/new roles this year as a result of our hard work. So we should be able to start putting a little bit aside now.

So you have nothing aside right now?

in this case I would treat myself with 500 and put the rest into savings.

Hellosunshine92 · 15/05/2026 18:33

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 15/05/2026 18:24

Sounds great! Buying some good quality, classic clothes is an investment because they'll last for years and you'll spend less in the future. The teeth will make you feel confident.

£3k doesn't go far really. This week I've spent £1k on a crown for my cracked tooth, £400 on physio because I've put my back out and £160 in M and S.

Yes !!! When I first got in into my account I thought I could get so many things done but really it only stretches so far. If I start adding things like treats to others even daily trips I won’t even have enough for the dentist hence the need to finally get rid of the guilt and prioritise myself.

OP posts:
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