Was Paul Newman, discuss

DH has bought something for the house without mentioning it to me and I am honestly a bit annoyed.

It was about £40 so its not like he's gone mad or anything but its something we absolutely did not need and I would have rather the money went towards other things tbh.

I only found out because the parcel turned up and when I asked what it was he said he'd ordered it a couple of days ago. I said I wish he'd mentioned it first and he said why, its hardly a big purchase and he doesn't ask me before buying things for himself.

I do see that point but I don't really think its the same when its something for the house? Especially when we've got other things coming up that we need to pay for.

I am not saying he needs to ask permission every time he spends money btw. If he wants to buy himself something with his own money then obviously thats different. But if its coming out of our joint account for something that is basically unnecessary then surely its reasonable to discuss it first?

He thinks I'm being controlling and making an issue out of nothing.

AIBU?

I know I sound horrible. I know I’ll get lots of hate saying leave him the poor man but I know a lot of women feel the same.
I love him but he just gets on my nerves anyone feel the same? Give me stories / things your husbands do that grate on you like a fork on a brick wall. 😂 I know I sound vile. I’m honestly not, just ughhhhh shudder.

Clothes accessories cosmetics everything.

Here’s the scenario
Mum and teenage son plan a 3 night trip to Europe. Mum intend her partner and also son’s friend. Apartment sleeps 6 (2 bedroom). Partner invites two relatives.

Apartment can’t be cancelled.

There was no mention of cost split when friend was invited, it has subsequently become clear a split is expected.

Partner and relatives are no longer going.

How much of the apartment cost should be attributed to the friend?

In reference to The Most Beautiful Man thread,

Just for balance, I thought we ought to show the women as well...

Gong Li
Zhang Ziyi
Louise Brooks
Cyd Charisse

Fitted, not itchy..but Ideally not ribbed or too fine (I'll just wreck it).

Upto £100...I'm happy to invest if it will last

Thank you!

Morning MNers. I wanted to say a massive thank you to people who replied to my panicked thread on Tuesday about being called to HR. And thank you to people who DMed me as well. It was such a big help to get some perspective and to know how to prepare. Thank you!

Here’s the original thread: Page 40 | Called to HR for behaviour at an after-work event. Thoughts, please... | Mumsnet

Right, an update:
I had the meeting with HR this morning. It was a fact-finding meeting. I took a colleague from another department who made copious notes.

Basically, a complaint has been lodged against the guy who asked me “Why aren’t you drinking?” because he made inappropriate and unprofessional comments to a junior female member of staff after I’d left the drinks reception last week.

In response, he’s lodged a counter-complaint to say that he was ostracised and bullied at the event by several women. I am one of the women he's named, saying that I spoke unprofessionally and condescendingly, citing a couple of Respect At Work type policies. He hasn't lodged complaints about individual women but, I think, about the event and event organisers itself saying that they/it created a non-inclusive and hostile atmosphere for men, partly perpetrated by the women who were mean to him. The event itself was about a "woman's issue" so, yes, it was mostly of interest to women.

HR wanted to hear my side of the story which I told them as recommended by several posters (thank you again!). I told them he asked me an intrusive and unprofessional question which could raise issues re. several protected characteristics. I told them that I tried giving “soft no” answer as a social cue to avoid social awkwardness or embarrassment (i.e. the thing he’s accusing me of), then moved to be firm and clear (as taught on the leadership course) before I left the conversation.

I said that if my experience is anything to go by, his perception of being “ostracised” or “bullied” is very likely to be women setting professional boundaries – there are a few policies that talk about this which I cited.

HR said that its very unlikely his complaint will go anywhere, but they have to hear everything that happened that evening and fully investigate. I’m just waiting to hear back about that.

They’re going to use what happened to me (him persistently asking why I’m not drinking) as evidence of a pattern of his behaviour that evening in support of the original complaint about him.

Call me old fashioned, but isn't this sort of thing likely to provoke a run on toilet rolls? Couldnt find any other threads on it, but I think there is a "preppers" topic on here somewhere. In any case, what do you think? I'm sort of concerned, should I be? Or has this gone under the radar?

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2026/aug/25/uk-to-warn-citizens-to-stock-up-on-food-amid-threat-from-climate-crisis-and-hostile-states

Posted this in AIBU by mistake so reposting here now.

I often see ads for these bra’s and other similar brands on YouTube and they look really comfortable with good support. The Amazon reviews are generally good but has mixed feedback on sizing. Has anyone tried them at all? Also the price is very reasonable…

I've decided to treat myself, but I don't know where to start.

Firstly I don't know what else to call the kind of bag I'm after, hence "status" bag. I like Chanel, LV, which I know some fashionistas like to sneer at, so please, if that's you, respect that we all have different preferences.

I'm looking for a lovely every day bag, that I don't look stupid with on the school run etc. We live rurally, and didn't before, so all my Chanel and LV with chain straps etc would look majorly over done and I'd feel ridiculous wandering round town on casual shop with one. I do sometimes take my neverful but I'd like something much smaller. Slouchy and comfy as opposed to stiff leather.

What's a casual but still "status" bag that I could go for? I don't like massive gold logos etc like the GG Gucci bags, or the ones with big YSLs down the front. I would like it to be recognisable as branded, but from close up, not from across the street if you see what I mean.

Thank you.

Is this too much to wear to the office? I wore it with a belt so wondering if I was over dressed?

https://www.dunelm.com/product/emily-metal-bed-frame-1000295082?defaultSkuId=31055771&size=Small+Double+4ft&colour=Cream

Am I being unreasonable to think that the gap between the bars could present a risk to a tween/young teenager, if their head were to become stuck between them? (I haven't measured the width of the gap). Or am I unreasonably stuck in some sort of baby / toddler safe sleeping mode? Tell me if IABU. Teen likes this style.

Just that really. My husband and I have literally nothing so nothing to give away!!

Need urgent advice please because I don't know what to make of this and I'm incapable of keeping my emotions in! Months ago I found the back of an earring on my bed and confronted DH because I'm sure it wasn't mine, he was very convincing that there was nothing untoward going on. Naive as this may sound I don't think he's the sort that would cheat, I don't see how he'd even have the time for it (he works full time and we have 2 young DC). So I chalked it up to the cleaner/something I'd forgotten that got caught up and moved inadvertently.

This evening I have just found half a fake nail on my upstairs landing and I have no explanation of where it could have come from. I've fully panicked and managed to look through DHs phone. I didn't find anything on WhatsApp, Facebook or text messages.

I do not know what to do. I want to confront him because I'm terrible at hiding my feelings but I assume if anything IS going on he will just play it off again. What should I do? Apologies for the rushed and possibly incoherent message! x

I live in a 4 in a block. I'm top floor and my garden (private) is the one shown on the left of the photo, surrounded by the fence. Neighbour is beneath and the window shown is her bedroom window. Both fences are mine, previous owner paid for them and for them to be erected.

I get on well enough with downstairs neighbour however the issue is that every time I go out to the garden, she comes out and chats, for a good half hour. She's elderly and I get that she just wants to chat, I have no problem with a short chat now and then, but last time I was out there, I had a whole day free when DC was at their dads and so wanted to get cracking on the garden, she came out 5 separate times, 3 times to chat for ages and will sometimes stand watching me from her bedroom window, which is a little awkward.

I'm not sure if it would be unreaonable of me to heighten the fence a little to give me privacy? I don't want to completely block her light, just her view into my garden! I was thinking of popping a trellis on top, so that light still gets through. Maybe pop some climbing flowers on it. The taller fence that can be seen is 6ft tall, i was thinking of matching the trellis height to this. Local planning permission dictates 6ft 6 inches is the limit that you can have fences, so I don't think I would be breaking any local laws. I'm sure she will complain as she's quite fixed on how she thinks things should be, so I'm not sure if it's unreasonable of me to do this?

I'm currently looking at my wardrobe and what I might want to update it for autumn.

I'm mid50s, 5'7" and size 14.

I'm currently looking at these:

Boots
https://lanxshoes.com/collections/womens-boots/products/edgworth-brown-distressed

Jacket
https://www.marksandspencer.com/faux-leather-harrington-jacket/p/clp61227207?color=SAGE&extid=ps_ps-pla-pmax_ggl_ww_ch__-UK-_-_bau_tier1&cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=23464567334&cq_con=&cq_term=&cq_med=pla&cq_plac=&cq_net=x&cq_plt=gp&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23459513439&gclid=CjwKCAjwtKrUBhAhEiwAr77ZouxSW1TOKd2eot-kyFgHD7u41KdbxQwXep71n0a8z0pK0sj6BWAaWRoCJVAQAvD_BwE

And carrot shape jeans.

What have you got your eye on?

What is it with women (I’ll say women as I’ve never personally known a man to do this) who want to make a huge fuss for their own birthdays, involving others spending £100s ! Not even big birthdays, say 39 or something??

I’ve got a newish friend, and we met as our daughters grew close over the last few years as they’re in the same sports activity every week. We get on, not best friends but meet for coffee etc. We have been away overnight with the girls when they compete.

Anyway, I’ve been invited to her birthday night out end of September, and she wants to go to another city by train, book a hotel etc. I’ve politely declined and said I would go to a local night for for a meal or something. I’m not paying for hotels, travel, food, drinks etc for someone’s birthday. I would never expect anyone to spend that on me, and I can’t believe anyone thinks it normal to ask others to drop loads of money to celebrate them.

Before anyone says, just say no, you can decline etc. Well I’ve declined and she’s messaged away from the group chat she set up, to say she’s disappointed I can’t make it and asked why?

I haven’t replied yet but I’ll be honest and say I’m not paying £300 or more for a night out.

Is it just me who would never ask people to fork out hundreds of pounds for their birthdays. If people are willing to, that’s great and have fun, but if they decline why question it?

Weddings I understand, spending money on my kids, happy to! Same with my husband and parents big birthdays, happy to go all out, but I’ve been asked to spend about £300 on someone’s birthday, said no, and I’m being asked why??

With my absolute best friends, we just go out for a meal, no fuss.

Years ago, someone else wanted me to spend nearly all I had in savings to go to Vegas for her wedding, and I said no to that, and she was put out by that too! (And got divorced a year after the wedding).

AIBU here?

[I categorically refuse to put the word ‘lighthearted’ in the title to indicate that Im not actually traumatised. Also because saying this post is lighthearted is just as facile as holding a little bus or building a Lego haus to illustrate my point.
See below.]

I realise that I don’t need to follow Mr B on instagram but I do and I’m feeling deeply patronised:

First a little toy bus (talking about buses innit), then a Lego house (building more Lego houses to amuse the homeless), a bit of cosplay by dressing up as a Sainsbury’s man of the people (to show that you can work at Sainsbury's and a sexy uniform is thrown in) and now… throwing a cowboy hat at the camera/phone to illustrate that cowboy builders are …cowboys.

Make it stop.

AIBU

Our family have been renting for seven years and we haven’t had much luck. We lived somewhere for just under 4 years before our landlord decided to sell the property. We moved somewhere else before being given notice after 6 months. I really wanted to try for a council house and move into temporary accommodation but DH refused as we had a newborn baby so we borrowed money off my mum for a bond and moved into a tiny cottage type house that was out the way for me as I don’t have a car. I was miserable there as the living room wasn’t big enough to swing a cat and it was difficult living there as a family of four.

A family member asked us if we wanted to live in her partner’s house that was in town, closer to the school, and much more spacious. We moved in about 2 years ago and have been paying below market price in rent. He’s been very good with repairs, etc., and left us furniture and everything in good working order. We were under the impression it was a long term let as he wanted to keep this house for his daughter. Anyway, he gave us notice this summer as his relationship broke down unexpectedly and he has nowhere to stay with his kids. We were going to apply for social housing and he was willing to help us before he found out he’d get in a lot of trouble for renting to us unlicensed. Since then he’s had trouble getting landlord insurance and there’s no way for him to register now without getting in a lot of trouble.

I’ve told DH that we should try and leave. The alternative is that we stay for as long as possible and the house either gets repossessed or he pays a hefty fine and can evict us properly. I know that legally he doesn’t have a leg to stand on but I feel like the decent thing to do is to try find somewhere as the latter could take years and cause tension within the family.

The boys’ bedroom is still painted pink and has his daughter’s bed in it. The boys want a bunk bed and a more boyish room but I don’t want to dismantle her bed and paint the room knowing he’s trying to move back. DH doesn’t care and says he has no empathy for him as essentially he committed tax fraud.

I just want to be done with the whole situation but I can’t move somewhere private with DH who just won’t compromise.

AIBU or is DH being unreasonable?

Just that really. I used to look forward to having a drink and a bite to eat in cafes, it was nice and relaxing. But no longer, some examples and you always get at least one or two now.

The expense, its getting crazy.
People on mobile phones making noise
Elderly on mobile phones with the speaker on so you can hear the other person.
Dogs
Toddlers
Keyboard warriors
Staff attitudes
Small portions / cheap ingredients
Wobbly and dirty tables
Poor toilet hygiene
Advertising screens (yes there was one in M & S today which really bright)

Anyone else the same?

Our street is all residents permit parking. All the houses have drives, and each household gets one parking permit and can pay annually for more. Between my neighbour’s drive and my drive there is on-street parking for 3-4 cars.

I park on my drive. When I have a visitor or a workman I park on the street so that they can have the drive.

At some point some of the lampposts were fitted with car chargers. One of these charging posts is right outside my neighbour’s house. They have started commenting that I shouldn’t be taking up a ‘charging spot’ as my car doesn’t need one, but their cars do.

AIBU to park a non-electric car near a charging point when I don’t need to? There’s nothing on the road or the lamppost to give any indication.

It's a big birthday for me end of the year. I'm really not one for lots of gifts but my family want to club together and get me something.

I'm not a big jewellery wearer, but wear a simple gold chain all the time and I would like something equivalent in a bracelet.

Budget is between £60-70, I'd like it to be fairly plain and simple, not a bangle and yellow gold, but not adverse to other metals either. I would like to wear it constantly, not faff taking it off so possibly I'm looking for something that's not too easy to break. Any ideas? I don't know where to start looking!

I often stay in caravans for hols and feel like the sun ones are considerably cheaper (even when you add on the extras). But is there a reason for that?

Does anyone have good experiences of any in the south? Some of the reviews of even the best ones are terrible (i asked chat gpt to recommend ones based on trip advisor and other public reviews).

For context, I’m a late 30s millennial. Grew up in Scotland.

Back then, almost nobody had a brand new car. People went abroad once a year if they were lucky. Eating out was very rare, maybe a handfull of times per. Getting a new kitchen was rare as was buying most household items. Kids often got cast off clothes from their siblings. Coffee & wine were basic.

Fast forward to today and it’s unbelievable what I see now.

Almost everybody drives a brand new car

Some of my friends go on multiple holidays per year. One is just back from her 7th trip abroad.

People buy properties and spend six figures immediately renovating them.

People are very fussy with wine. One of my friends only drinks champagne if doing fizz. Another will only drink certain types of Italian red wine.

I have a friend who spent 3K on a coffee machine and he recently asked if the coffee I served him at mine was single source.

Another friend wants me to go on a golfing holiday for a stag do abroad. Basic cost is £3K as it involves a private chef on a boat.

And cheese…. one of my friends only buys cheese from a deli. It’s beautiful but they’re spending a hundred quid plus a month just on cheese.

Some of my friends eat out 2/3 times per week. That was an average in a year for lots of people when I was a kid.

AIBU to question this? I know some of it may be debt but perhaps people’s expectations have risen enormously? Anybody else seeing this type of behaviour.