How to offer to pay for Disney

[coulditbeme2323]

Long story short we went to Disney couple of years ago - kids wanted to go back so will be going for two weeks in October half term.

Sister's kids are desperate to go, but as a family it's out of their budget. We have a great relationship with sister and BIL, but don't want to offend them (well him I know sister would be delighted)

How do we go about offering, I was thinking probably speak with her first?

What a lovely thing to do, yes just speak with her and see what she says about her husband. I wouldn’t be offended, I’d be grateful.

Thank you

What would they be able to afford ? You could offer to pay for X then they could pay for Y. Speak to your sister.

To be honest - probably not much at the level we do it.

I mean meals etc, but not much if anything of upfront costs.

I'd frame it as your DC would really love their cousins to be there, is there any way you can help it to happen?

I guess you talk to your sister and she knows how best to communicate to dh.

Could you offer it as early Christmas gift or birthday gift? If the children are gifted the trip then offer to pay for the parents to join. I pad for a weekend away at Alton towers for my kids cousin and his mum as a birthday gift for Christmas. She didn’t have much and accepted it as a gift for her son.

Well set a meals or spending money budget for them but you are happy to take them,

They won’t be offended, they’ll be thrilled! Frame it as ‘our treat’ or maybe even say you found a fantastic deal and it would enable you to take them too if they fancy it? Or something to that effect.
OMG honestly, I’m 41 but I’d be too busy screaming with excitement to find any offence!

I am probably worrying about nothing, I just know men can be well men.

Speak to her but think realistically first - can they afford to ‘keep up’ when there with your usual spending pattern?

We took Dsis, BIL and DC to Centre Parc’s and because the booking was in our name it made it easier as we could only book the activities and we did a full food and drink shop so spending was occasional ice creams, coffee etc over the week but usually we would eat out a few times and ate in instead plus got a take away one evening to avoid financial pressure.

Stealth boast?

Why not just say “We are planning to go to Disney next year, would x and y like to come with us? My two would love to have them there for company, It would be our treat.”

You have got into your head you are a kind samaritan dishing out charity and they’d be offended, you are not.

I think most of it would be on us - and so much of it is pre paid anyway now so that wouldn't be an issue.

It's this year if you read the post properly, two weeks at half term - and I don't consider myself a Samaritan.

Bloody hell, who pissed on your chips this morning? Can’t people even do nice things for each other these days without being accused of boasting? 🙄

Could you say you got an amazing deal and combine it as joint birthday and xmas gifts.

I think the poster who said frame it as our kids are desperate to have their cousins join them (which is true) is onto something.

I agree with just speaking to your sister and offering, do you have any specific reason to think BIL would have an issue with it?

I wouldn’t do it as a birthday/Christmas present as it would most likely overshadow the presents from their parents and set up expectations for future gifts.

I wish you were my sister 😂 my kids want to go, I def can't afford it lol.

Could it be an early Xmas Present? You can still buy something little to open in actual Xmas but it might make it feel less weird if he's likely to be odd about it?

Is it just the kids or the adults too you're happy to pay for?

It would be all, even them paying for themselves would be unaffordable

Oh I thought it was just the children you wanted to take, I would just frame it is a big family holiday your treat. They can put into the food fund. Ive not been to Orlando for years but you can eat outside the parks quite reasonably.

We are staying on site - doubt we will leave parks much.

Ah ok, they probably could offer something i mean you know them best but your Bil might just feel awkward not paying for anything,

All you can do is offer and see what they say. I would make it clear there are no strings attached though, and that it really is just because your kids would love to have their cousins with them and it would make it even more special. They would be free to do their own thing though whenever they wanted.

Be prepared for them to say no though! It's hard being the poorer sibling, not being able to keep up but also not wanting to be a charity case. If they say no you will have to just accept that while it was a very kind and generous offer, they would prefer to live a bit more within their means. Which is a very sensible thing to do!

How much are you expecting to pay for them to go? How much are you expecting them to pay?

If they still have to pay for meals and extras it could be that he still doesn’t want to, if it’s not affordable and he doesn’t want to spend a fortnight with his in-laws.

@Xante the op isn't expecting them to pay for anything.