I need boys age 8 post operation/surgery tearaway underpants/boxers. Velcro or stud fastenings. I can find them for men but not children. We need them asap.
Cant see how I could make them using cotton jersey boxers/trunks.

I would like to take my daughter to Africa on holiday. For context, I am Black British and my husband is white. He does not like long-haul flights and is refusing to agree to the trip. His view is that because I visited South Africa four years ago, there is no need for us to travel to Africa again, and that we should choose a closer destination such as Europe instead.
My daughter, who is of mixed African heritage, has never been to Africa and is devastated that she is not being allowed to go.

My husband is threatening to divorce me, should I go ahead and book the holiday?

My son is finishing College at the end of June, when I first told universal credit he was going to college I thought he would be finished by May but its at the end of term now. Ive notified UC of this but havent heard back. Anyone know how long it takes been 10 days now?

My dd is not coming home from uni this summer, even though the holidays 4 months long. All my friends’ children are; all over social media I see posts about not long until they come home and his all these parents can’t wait. We had such a lovely summer last year - a holiday, spa days , lunches and shopping. I had it in my head I’d get two or three more summers until she had a full time job and would move away.
I was getting so excited and now I feel so down about it. I keep thinking I am literally the person paying for her rent in her uni city and I have paid to make myself this unhappy.

A couple of local charity shops near me both constantly have signs up outside on an A-Board, saying that they are not taking donations. However, both of these have very little stock inside, and are both very overpriced. For example, a worn, very bobbly Primark jumper for £7, and a Boohoo polyester dress for £12.

One in particular is just depressing to go into; I went in the other day for the first time in two months and some of the overpriced clothes that were there then were still hanging there, still for sale. The rails were also pretty empty. The board was outside as usual requesting no donations. There were 5 members of staff in the shop.

I really don't get it; surely it would be far better, and raise far more money, if they had more stock out, and priced it at lower prices for a quicker turnover. I really can't see the shop I went in yesterday raising much money at all, as there's never anything in there really to buy.

I'm sure some posters will reply saying it's a 'charity shop bashing thread', and yes, it is! I want to support charities and want to buy pre owned items but shops like this aren't exactly going to raise any money!

I have a good friend. I like her a lot and spend a lot of time with her. I also have lots of other closer friends and a large loving family, some of whom have care needs.

My friend is only close to me. She has recently got divorced and now I have become the person she rings in a crisis...broken down, forgot my purse, sprained my ankle, had a row with someone...they are all genuine crisis but I cannot be her next of kin.
I already have too many people who need me including my dh and kids.

I have had to tell her I do not want to be listed as her next of kin for health. I dont know how to tackle this?

I do feel for her cos she has no other friends or family but thats not my fault? AIBU

Quick query here, really, please if anyone has expert/specialist knowledge or experience.

Have been in this great flat for about 18 months.

Dealing directly with the landlords (elderly couple) and we'd both said we'd wanted to have a long-term arrangement.

Last time we'd mentioned this was a few months ago - now they've just given me my notice out of the blue.

Apparently their daughter's coming back to the UK and wants to live in it.

If true, I assume this is a legitimate reason to give me notice? Can anyone with experience or legal/specialist knowledge clarify, pls?

The last time we spoke - a few weeks ago - was about the new Renters' Rights; they gave me the paperwork, but it all seemed irrelevant to me.

Is there anything in there that can save me?

I'm assuming they're genuine and that their daughter is really coming back...although...

There has been a slight issue with parking that a couple of the neighbours don't like. (Parking in my allocated spot, but the neighbours didn't think it was right. I get on with all the other neighbours really well.)

I know they've moaned to the landlords.

Could this be anything to do with it ?

If so, I don't think it's a legitimate reason to turf me out. They've given me 4 months notice.

Landlords are very trustworthy tbh, very straight and honest - although, obviously they're in it for the money, not to make sure things re nice for me.

Any thoughts/experience?

I'd be very grateful.

I tried to book a massage at a new place yesterday but when I filled in their medical form and said I had cancer 8 years ago, they said they can't do it without a doctor's letter. Supposedly their insurance doesn't cover it as massage can cause any remaining cancer cells to grow again.

I'm astounded at their ignorance.

Has anyone else experienced this?

The truth shall set you free

Had a first date off Hinge last night and definitely learned a harsh lesson about AI!

The clue was there in that two of his photos showed a tanned, dark haired guy. Very put together, very professional looking. The rest seemed to show a pale guy with different hair but all from quite a distance. I just hoped the first would be representative as he looked older in them.

I'm met outside the bar by a pale ginger guy (nothing wrong with that appearance in general, just highlighting the difference!) who later told me he'd never had a tan in his life. I wish I'd had the guts to say well how do you explain these photos?! Got everything off on a bad foot really.

What a waste of time and feel quite deceived. So always find the least attractive photo and decide from that if you fancy them. Lesson learned 🤦‍♀️

Anyone know about CMS claims?

I have recently split from husband and put a claim in for CMS.

They have written to me and stated

Reason for calculation
Additional case

Does this mean my husband has other children, other than our two?

I was in a supermarket , at the till. There was an elderly couple in front of me. The man was dressed smartly, the lady looked awful, she had greasy hair which stuck to her head, ulcers on her legs, she was hunched over the trolley using it to hold herself up and she smelt absolutely awful, very strongly of urine and body odour.

As soon as they’d been served and walked away a member of staff appeared and sprayed room spray all around where they’d been standing, he pulled a disgusted face as did the lady on the till who then turned to me and laughed. I didn’t react.

I just felt awful for that lady. I’m recently disabled myself and I can easily see how without the correct support you can end up like this. You are so vulnerable. The staff members were relatively young, probably not had enough life experience to see anything other than a smelly woman.

Just wanted to share really, it made me so sad.

DH and I were at a homebuilding and renovation show yesterday as we're in the middle of an extension project. Specifically we 're on the hunt for a new front door and while looking around one of the vendors we had a "pretty women" moment.

We had a look at the various products on show before trying to get the attention of one of the representatives who appeared to be avoiding our gaze. Eventually she approached and I said 'hi, we're interested in bespoke front doors and quite like this one on show'.

Without asking our budget or any of our requirements she went into a spiel about how the doors were very expensive, how they were imported from Lithuania and the import charge was also expensive, all the while wincing as she was saying it. She then said we might be better off with a more mass manufactured door. I was absolutely stunned at her condescending tone. She hadn't asked a single question about what we were looking for.

I was so close to confronting her about her approach, but held back. DH calmly told her her sales pitch needs some work and we walked away, but I was fuming. We were both dressed smart/casually so the only thing I can think is she guaged our age (late thirties) and made an assumption we couldn't afford it (even though we can).

WWYD in that situation? I'm half inclined to email the company and provide feedback on our experience but I also don't know if it's worth the energy.

Would love to hear if anyone that's had a similar experience but DID confront the rude person as I'm still annoyed I didn't give her a piece of my mind.

We had an argument about this last night and again this morning.
He has sleep apnea, diagnosed and he has a machine that stops his snoring, it only works if he lays on his side, on his back he still snores.
He only got diagnosed with this after years of me complaining about the lack of sleep i was getting because of the snoring.
A family holiday abroad made him realise how bad it was, because of the layout his teen daughter also told him how horrific it was.
We both work and have to be out of the door by 6.50am Monday-Friday. I work 30 hours but my office is a 10 minute walk, he works 40 hours but commutes an hour each way.
I have insomnia, I take pills have done since I was 18, now 44.
To fall asleep I need a dark and quiet room. I like to be in bed ready to sleep by 10.30.
My husband likes to stay up, until gone midnight some nights but normally 11.30ish.
He has started listening to podcasts, this is the issue.
He’ll come to bed at 10 with me but doesn’t see why I can’t stand him laying next to me, on his back with headphones in listening to podcasts.
My issue is, the light from his phone, I can still hear it regardless of headphones and he tends to doze and start snoring, last night nudged him awake to be told.. Fine, I’ll put my mask on but I’m still listening to it.
He kept dozing off, snoring starts because he’s on his back, it was so frustrating to lay next to while I’m trying to sleep.
I eventually got up and said.. Fuck this. I’ll sleep in the spare room from now on and you can come and get me when you actually want to go to sleep.
His argument is that number 1 he has less spare time than me to chill out listening to podcasts. And 2 that he already made a compromise by strapping a mask to his face every night.
He thinks I should learn to tolerate a little phone light and noise in return, who is being unreasonable here?

Name changed for this, as absolutely don't want it linked to my regular posts.
Last weekend, a male friend of mine sent me a sexually graphic video (him masturbating to climax) totally out of the blue.
For context, this is a friend of 6 years, 5 of which he has had a girlfriend.
Because of past trauma (including being raped as a child and, separately, as an adult), I totally freaked out over this and reported him to the police (after contacting his girlfriend, then blocking him on everything).
Have I overreacted?

Nissan

My credit is poor

I currently own an 19 Nissan micra

I want so badly to drive an suv, and signed up to the contract

I know what I SHOULD do but I want this car

😭

I had a gardener round to quote for trimming some hedges back from my back gate that overhang from the property behind, weeding the patio and jet washing it. Taking all garden waste with them He’s said half a days work for a couple of them max. He’s just emailed me the quote: £750!!! My flabber is truly gasted…. Is this really the going rate?! 5 years ago without the jet washing I paid someone £45!!!

I am desperate to find a pinky nude matte-ish lipstick similar to the ones Lucy Punch wears in Amandaland. I’m quite pale and find Pillow Talk comes out REALLY orange on me.

Does anyone have any ideas?

My husband has been acting strange/secretive with his phone for a couple of weeks now so I took it on myself to look at his phone. Yes I know it’s morally dodgy but we have each others log ins and I looked at it whilst he was feeding DS dinner (it was charging upstairs).

There is a woman who is obviously a co-worker. I only had time to look at messages from the past two days. He was in the office today. He messaged her to say please walk past my desk again so I can look at your arse. She said she’d be back up in an hour and she will walk slowly this time. He then messaged again (after about an hour) to say that was the highlight of his afternoon to which she replied she knew her trousers would get attention today and sent a peach symbol. That was the last message.

I confronted him straight away and he stormed off and hasn’t come home yet. Said how dare I look at his phone. I have tried to call him and he just declined the call. He sent a text to say I’ve betrayed his trust and he can’t believe I did that instead of speaking to him.

Am I wrong to have done this, I think that if you know something is up then it’s within your right to investigate?

I was at a job for 2 weeks, left because of my toxic manager. Anyway on Saturday I asked Siri to call my friend, but it called my ex manager from this job, I hung up before it could answer and blocked the number. However this morning I wake up to her calling me on WhatsApp. I declined the call and then she called me from the stores phone… I answer and she says hi (my name) it’s your friend Sharon, from (store name), I say, excuse me? She then says I’ve got the (my name) and abruptly hangs up.

this felt slightly intimidating, AIBU in feeling uncomfortable about her calling me and should I be scared/worried?

I went part-time when I had my first child, and my second is starting school in Sept.

DP and I pay 50% of the mortgage and household bills each (before I went part time, and throughout maternity leave, I paid more). I said I would go back to full-time work when DC were at school but now… I don’t want to? AIBU?

I'd be so glad of some style wisdom please as it's really not a strength I have!

I have this dress -

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su823888/h88417?gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23099951489&gbraid=0AAAAADm_5UXuxjQZMtZb_dOvq-fDRJS0l&gclid=CjwKCAjwn4vQBhBsEiwAq3hhN4gwnKjO5oFN7QaQb9N8HiSVRQs61maB0InhRSBYSMQjuv9PyMlxKhoCc_EQAvD_BwE

It is so nice! Really suits me, a lovely shape. However, I've no idea what to wear on my feet. I can't do heels like the model has. I'd like to look "tidy" for work (office but not super super smart) and also something more casual for holiday.

Please help!

In terms of budget, I can do up to around £60 per pair

Thank you

After Tuesday's festival of Fire and Ice (with no Will Ferrell irony) and the truly wonderfully socked Australia/Austria Interval act from Cutprice Katherine Ryan and her pal Austrian Smashy I'm sure you all can't wait. Tonight sees a Eurovision song called "Ya Ya Ya". Could it be anymore Eurovision? Get your pleather and odd knee high boots on.

1 BULGARIA Dara - Bangaranga
2 AZERBAIJAN Jiva - Just Go
3 ROMANIA Alexandra Căpitănescu - Choke Me
4 LUXEMBOURG Eva Marija - Mother Nature
5 CZECHIA Daniel Zizka - Crossroads
FRANCE Monroe - Regarde
6 ARMENIA Simón - Paloma Rumba
7 SWITZERLAND Veronica Fusaro - Alice
8 CYPRUS Antigoni - Jalla
AUSTRIA Cosmó - Tanzschein
9 LATVIA Atvara - Ēnā
10 DENMARK Søren Torpegaard Lund - Før Vi Går Hjem
11 AUSTRALIA Delta Goodrum - Eclipse
12 UKRAINE Leléka - Ridnym
UNITED KINGDOM Look Mum No Computer - Eins, Zwei, Drei
13 ALBANIA Alis - Nân
14 MALTA Aidan - Bella
15 NORWAY Jonas Lovv - Ya Ya Ya

Ten to Qualify for the Final.
The UK CAN vote in this Semi Final (you vote in the semi you appear in).
Voting for participants opens after the last song has been performed.
Voting for the UK is ONLINE ONLY through the ESC website or app. You need to make a card payment - 15p per vote.

Non participating countries (Hello Ireland) can vote as part the Rest of The World from midnight before the Semi-Final until the show starts when voting closes temporary before reopening after the acts have all performed.

There is a limit of 10 votes per person.

I am an animal lover, I am especially a dog person meaning I like wolves too if we’re talking wildlife. My mum has taken this to mean I’m obsessed with wolves - I’m really not.

Every year at Christmas she buys me something wolf related … it started off as huge framed pictures (often featuring native Americans too 😂) and in the end I had so many massive pictures piled up the spare room that I made a point of telling her I am no longer buying wall pictures as I don’t like a lot of stuff on the walls and I’ve ran out of space. She got the hint and stopped buying me pictures … instead she started buying me huge blankets, fleece bed covers etc, again featuring wolves howling at the moon, native Americans, wolf eyes staring out of dark trees etc 🤦‍♀️

I ended up with a big pile of fleece blankets that were just sat there collecting dust. In the end I asked her if she wanted any blankets as I’m getting rid of loads as I have far too many and don’t use them. She got the hint.

Now … as my birthday this year was approaching she asked me what size clothing I was. I told her. I joked to DH that I’ll probably end up with a wolf fleece jacket for my birthday … I was wrong … I got 3 wolf fleece jackets for my birthday.

I don’t get it!!! I’m in my 30s, she sees me every week … surely she can see that I don’t wear stuff like this?? It was funny at first but now its getting frustrating. She gets upset and offended easily so I’ve tried to treat lightly but come on …

What would you do?? Or do I just carry on accepting this stuff and lying that I like it to keep the peace?

I genuinely did not understand before how much mental energy it can take. You spend years being told to “eat healthy”, “move more”, “it’s just calories in versus calories out”, and then suddenly your body seems to change the rules without informing you. You can eat what feels like practically nothing and still gain weight from one takeaway, one dessert, one slightly normal weekend. Meanwhile people around you are saying “just be in a calorie deficit” as if you have not already reduced everything enjoyable.

It is not even vanity for many women. It is the exhausting feeling that maintaining your weight now requires permanent restriction and hypervigilance. You start mentally calculating every handful of nuts, every spoon of oil, every piece of bread, because the margin for error feels tiny.

What makes it worse is how invisible it is. Menopause is discussed in terms of hot flushes and periods stopping, but less about the sheer frustration of feeling your metabolism and body composition shift while being expected to behave as though nothing has changed.

Yes I exercise and I do weight training as well.

I know weight gain is not the worst thing in the world, but the constant mental negotiation around food can become draining. Sometimes it feels like menopause means your body now demands lifelong restraint just to stay the same size.

I know it is not like this for ALL women.