I took a 6 month break from selling on Vinted. I have 5 star reviews.
Have just restarted selling a few things and am having an absolute nightmare with Vinted ignoring my postage settings.
I only used Yodel in the past so I could just use my local shop and not have to get in the car and drive to inpost locker, Evri etc etc in all different locations not walkable from home. I never had an issue.
Since ive started reselling, despite my settings showing Yodel & Evri ( I now also use Evri, as another shop walkable offers that) buyers are selecting DPD, Royal Mail, Inpost etc etc. None of which are convenient to me or useable when I dont have the car.
Ive queried this with Vinted and the bot tells me Vinted offers what's viable for my buyers. It tells me Evri/Yodel isnt viable for the buyer but in 1 case I messaged buyer and was told...Royal Mail was the ONLY postage option Vinted gave her. She can happily use Evri, because there's one next door to her office but Vinted does not give her the option to choose it!!
Absolutely fucking bonkers!!
Ive sold more stuff over the weekend and have every kind of postage selected by buyers. I dont have a car until Friday and tbh even if I did have the car I wont use these postage options because instead of just popping out to 1 or 2 postal hubs ive now got to go to 5 different places to drop off parcels. Who the hell has time to do that??

Ive messaged buyers explaining but not yet cancelled the orders because if I do...I get negative feedback. Ive made another complaint to Vinted. The bot tries to tell me I have these postage options available to buyers says I will get negative feedback if I cancel, so im now waiting for a human response and have sent screen shots of my postage settings page only opting for Yodel and Evri.
Has anyone else had this? Any advice?? I cant be the only seller selling multiple items not wanting to travel to lots of different locations just to post parcels.

An xbox

Hi all. I've got an 18mo DD who is just, a firecracker. She's always called a happy baby by everyone, and she is, but she's also absolutely savage and insane. Everything is a delight and a game and a reason to get overexcited.

Sometimes she gets handsy, other times she throws toys or pulls hair. With us, we don't mind so much but nursery have now put her on a behaviour plan! I never heard of such a thing.

When she started to be like this around 12-14mo we used to firmly tell her not to, remove her from the situation or toy or person, but not over labour the point so as not to give her attention over it. She loves the attention. We also got given a sticker chart and a set of laminated cards with red stop signs or happy or sad faces etc to help her identify her feelings or to know when to stop.

I know all toddlers can get this way but my older DD who's now 6 was never this bad. She's now on a behaviour plan where the nursery tries to track any triggers or particular people but they're not spotting any pattern. They ring us almost daily now with something she's done, and mostly she's not hurting other kids though there have been a couple of occasions of pushing or pulling. She knows how to say sorry and does it well, so understands the concepts of no or kind hands. But the thing is, for her, it's never a tantrum or upset or malicious behaviour it's the opposite- she's just happy and overexcited and misplaces the energy. She doesn't realise when she could hurt someone, she just has this thrilled look in her eye like it's all play.

At this point I genuinely feel like my little happy girl might be the first ever baby to get expelled from a nursery! I half feel indignant because, why are the nursery staff ringing me to check if I've been using the sticker chart properly when I'm at work... she's literally a 1 year old baby who can't speak yet. She's just about starting to pick up single words now. On the other hand, I know she's more demanding than my first and handsy and I'm starting to feel like a bad mum. But I literally don't know what else I can do? If I tell her off even more she just wiggles away or gets happier from the attention and eye contact. She's kind of feral but we love it and think it's just her baby nature and will grow out of it. But is there something I'm missing? Could we be trying something else? Any advice much appreciated! At this daily rate I'm sure they're going to tell us they can't handle her and we need to leave soon!

Welcome to our long running thread for political discussion, general chit chat, a friendly hug and taxes in kind

for anyone who needs them in real life

Previous thread
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My MIL very much wants to be the involved grandma who is asked to babysit our children (6 and 2) and DH is very keen for his mum to feel included and important as a grandmother, so we ask her to babysit. The problem is that whenever we actually do ask her, she doesn’t really do what we ask. It’s never anything catastrophic, but it’s consistently frustrating. She’ll keep our eldest up far too late because she doesn’t want to properly enforce bedtime, so we then get back an overtired, emotional child. She’ll let our toddler skip naps or completely ignore routines because she thinks “one day won’t hurt,” when of course it absolutely does when we’re then left dealing with the fallout. She also has a habit of giving treats, screen time, or freedoms we’ve specifically said no to, and generally treats our parenting preferences more like optional suggestions than actual instructions.

So instead of childcare genuinely helping us, it often creates more stress afterwards. Before anyone says “well, let DH deal with the aftermath then,” yes, he often does. But that doesn’t magically solve the issue. I’m still in the same house listening to overtired children screaming, struggling, and melting down, and I’m hardly going to sit there with my feet up while my kids are miserable just to prove a point. Their difficult evening still affects the whole household, regardless of whose “turn” it is to manage it.

The key point is that we are not remotely short on childcare. My side of the family help and actually respect our routines and boundaries (DH agrees that this is the case), and if needed we also have paid childcare options who, unsurprisingly, do exactly what we ask. So this isn’t about necessity at all. It’s much more that DH feels guilty because his mum clearly wants to feel needed, involved, and chosen, and he worries that not asking her more often will hurt her feelings. On Sunday we went out because apparently MIL was sad that she hadn’t been asked to babysit in a while, whereas my mum had been a lot recently. To me it felt almost like she hadn’t had her turn to play with the toys and is in a mood about it - they’re actual living humans!

Childcare isn’t a charitable role you hand out to preserve a grown adult’s sense of importance. She absolutely loves the children, and I’m not trying to cut her out or stop her seeing them, but I am increasingly struggling with the idea that we should knowingly make our own lives harder, and our children’s evenings harder, just to protect her feelings. Seeing them with us present apparently isn’t the same thing to her. AIBU to think that “wanting to feel included” isn’t enough reason to keep using someone for babysitting when they repeatedly ignore how you want your children cared for? And how do others navigate this without it becoming huge family drama, especially when your husband seems more focused on not upsetting his mother than on whether the childcare is actually helpful?

A friend is getting married in NYC later this year. The dress code is black tie. The venue has not been disclosed and will not be disclosed until the day of the event to avoid media attention as they are within the celebrity sphere (I know them through family and am very much not from this world)
Any advice on something suitably glamorous given there may be a few A listers present and I don’t want to look out of place? I’m 5’7, size 8-10. Budget not really an issue

Sorry, I’m not even sure what I’m asking.

I met my DH when I was 22 and he was 38. I had a fantastic first job straight out of uni in finance, and DH was much, much, much more senior in the company I worked for. I had not long broken up with my university boyfriend and he’d be very flirty with me at work. There was definitely no ‘grooming’ going on, everything was reciprocated.

He’s a very high earner and took us on some amazing holidays - we went to the Maldives, New York and the Caribbean all within a year of meeting. Lots of weekends away etc. I thought he was perfect and everything you could ever want in a partner. Which I suppose he was when compared to boys my own age!

I got pregnant at 25 and left work to become a stay at home mum.

The children are primary aged now. Our relationship never recovered after the birth of our first baby. It had already started to sour prior to the pregnancy, but the birth of our first was the thing that really made me realise that we are not right for each other. He’s a great Dad, very hands off but is great with them. We have a nice life, a nice house in a nice part of London. We rarely see each other due to his role. I don’t feel attracted to him anymore.

I definitely feel that now I’m older, we have much less in common than we did when I was younger (not sure how that works). We have different values and just very different personalities.

I feel like I’ve completely lost myself. I’m incredibly busy with three children under the age of 6. I’m no longer on the amazing career trajectory that I was on, and I’ll never get back to it now as I can’t possibly work the hours that I would be required to.

My friends are all marrying nice, successful men that are our age and I’m so jealous. They get to grow and achieve together. Where as in my relationship, DH had already ‘grew and achieved’ and I’ve not really achieved anything. DH already owned a house when we met so I’ve never had the experience of saving up and buying a house with a partner. Our salaries were obviously vastly different, so I’ve never felt equal financially. There is a slight power imbalance due to the age gap. I’ve missed out on holidays and experiences with friends and I’ve grew apart from most of my old friends.

So yeah… I have no idea what I’m asking, I’m just ranting. I can’t complain as I do have a nice life. I just wish I’d had my 20s to have fun and then settled down with someone my own age. I have three beautiful children who I wouldn’t change for the world but gosh I wish things were slightly different.

Someone suggested home dying menopausal thinning eyebrows on here - I duly bought just for men beard dye in a shade lighter than I’d have automatically chosen. It sat in my drawer for months, but I just vaselines up round my eyebrows, dabbed it on with an earbud, left it for about 90 seconds, washed my face, and, in less time it takes me to flows…I HAVE EYEBROWS!

thanks, mumsnet. I feel better

Lisa Nandy ran for leadership of Labour against Starmer (I voted for her). So how come Wes Streeting is being talked about and pushed forward, but Lisa isn't?

YABU - no one's heard of her
YANBU - this is weird and sucks, especially for a party who is yet to have a woman leader and has been bested by the EDI loving Conservatives on this repeatedly!

My husband has been acting strange/secretive with his phone for a couple of weeks now so I took it on myself to look at his phone. Yes I know it’s morally dodgy but we have each others log ins and I looked at it whilst he was feeding DS dinner (it was charging upstairs).

There is a woman who is obviously a co-worker. I only had time to look at messages from the past two days. He was in the office today. He messaged her to say please walk past my desk again so I can look at your arse. She said she’d be back up in an hour and she will walk slowly this time. He then messaged again (after about an hour) to say that was the highlight of his afternoon to which she replied she knew her trousers would get attention today and sent a peach symbol. That was the last message.

I confronted him straight away and he stormed off and hasn’t come home yet. Said how dare I look at his phone. I have tried to call him and he just declined the call. He sent a text to say I’ve betrayed his trust and he can’t believe I did that instead of speaking to him.

Am I wrong to have done this, I think that if you know something is up then it’s within your right to investigate?

I didn’t know which category to put this in! Would especially love to hear opinions from seasoned campers and vanners.
we need to release money for our sons house deposit. We don’t have it all so would remortgage for some of it.
we have a VW campervan which we could sell
basically the financial difference between keeping or selling the van would be around £400 over 4 and a half years.
just writing it out here it seems like a no brainer!
but we do love our weekends in the van. Anyone switched to a tent from a van and kept their relationship intact? We tend to just do weekends.

I always wonder. And reading a recent thread prompted me to ask the question. Why do people do it by choice? People complain about the house prices (rightly), ulez, nursery fees, cost of everything being more expensive, commutes, tubes etc.

if you’re not absolutely tied to London for work or health or I guess family. Why do you choose to live there when there are so many cheaper easier lifestyle options in the country?

I've been at my job for 3 years and recently raised to my manager that I do more than is in my JD and would like my salary to be reviewed. They agreed and also said they would like to change some aspects of my JD. I was then informed that because my JD and salary are changing I will need to re-interview for my job and it will be externally advertised too.

I have a job interview for another job of much higher pay for similar work, I'm in the mindset now of fuck my current job and put all my time outside of work towards preparing for this other interview.

Any advice or thoughts on this??

I'm so annoyed and humiliated that I'll possibly lose my current job to a better candidate

has anyone here moved from MJ to Reta? I’ve done 3 weeks on 2mg of Reta and not feeling anything… does it get better? I miss my early mounjaro days where I didn’t fancy anything!!

Sorry to ask such a boring and basic question but I can't seem to find the answer online in the guidance, or get through to them on the phone. If my DC puts in his application for student finance and requests the full loan, but then in September decides he wants to reduce the amount borrowed, is that possible and straightforward? He may have some help from family but this won't be known for sure until the summer. He wants to submit the application this week so as to meet the deadline to ensure the money comes through in time.

Also, if they get part-way through the academic year and decide they need more than originally requested, can they at any point request additional loan (obviously only up to the maximum?).

I am pretty sure the answer to both of these must be 'yes' but would be so grateful if anyone who already has a student DC can confirm?

Just as it says in the title really.

Everything seemed fine until around 7 weeks ago. Then out of nowhere my husband accused me of being controlling, saying that over the course of our relationship, I had stopped him doing things he enjoyed and that I had said some hurtful things during arguments, which we were said in the heat of the
moment.

I held my hands up to saying hurtful things and said it came from a place where I felt as though there has been no consideration for me and as though my feelings aren’t worth anything. He often stays in bed on a morning while I sort out our kids who are all still young and I have said I have expectations that he helps out on a morning too. As for the controlling him, I have said to him over the years that sometimes it’d be nice if he would miss football for the odd weekend so we could do things as a family or have expressed my dislike at him coming in from a night out at 5am when we have children and other responsibilities.
He has mentioned occasions from 10+ years ago where I’ve asked him to forego football to spend the day with me after we’d been at work all week and I honestly don’t know how he can even remember specifics from that far back.

We both work full time and I work nights predominantly due to childcare.

Around 6 weeks ago he said he had hit his limit And wasn’t sure if he wanted to continue with our relationship. This threw me into a very dark place and I said I would take a step back in terms of losing my temper when I feel like I’m not being heard, which I’ve done, although he said this isn’t enough. I’m now on antidepressants, signed off sick from work and have a therapy appointment booked.

He has said he is done and is now looking for somewhere else to live but refuses to leave our home (rented not bought) until he has found somewhere. He has turned so cold towards me and acts like he hates me. I go from feeling devastated to angry and at this point feel as though I’m stuck in some awful limbo.

I’ve been in touch with a solicitor but was just hoping others who have been in the same boat could give me words of wisdom that things will feel less dark in time?

Thank you

I would like to take my daughter to Africa on holiday. For context, I am Black British and my husband is white. He does not like long-haul flights and is refusing to agree to the trip. His view is that because I visited South Africa four years ago, there is no need for us to travel to Africa again, and that we should choose a closer destination such as Europe instead.
My daughter, who is of mixed African heritage, has never been to Africa and is devastated that she is not being allowed to go.

My husband is threatening to divorce me, should I go ahead and book the holiday?

Feeling brave and hope fellow mumsnetters may be able to give some thoughts about my house listing on Rightmove. It went on end of Feb, right before the Iran war started and since then had about 18 viewings but only 1 offer that fell through within two weeks. We are now at week 12 and feeling a bit stuck...

Photos were taken on a sunny day in Feb, but I've asked if we can update for some sunny May photos.

Anything else that stands out that I could update / tidy / clean / remove? I know you will all say the issue is price, and we could drop it some, but I thought it was a pretty decent price to start with.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/172706036#/?channel=RES_BUY

I went part-time when I had my first child, and my second is starting school in Sept.

DP and I pay 50% of the mortgage and household bills each (before I went part time, and throughout maternity leave, I paid more). I said I would go back to full-time work when DC were at school but now… I don’t want to? AIBU?

Time for another thread. Spring and Summer releases are trickling out to tempt us AND the advent calendar waitlists are appearing...hope you are all feeling suitably Christmassy. 😂

Thanks everyone who continues to contribute to the chatter and welcome to any newbies who want to join in.

I tried to book a massage at a new place yesterday but when I filled in their medical form and said I had cancer 8 years ago, they said they can't do it without a doctor's letter. Supposedly their insurance doesn't cover it as massage can cause any remaining cancer cells to grow again.

I'm astounded at their ignorance.

Has anyone else experienced this?

I’ve started looking for a wedding dress - not booked yet but very, very low key next year - 2nd marriage for us both and likely a family meal and night in a hotel for us.

I’m 45, 5ft6, hourglass size 14, grey hair and olive skin/brown eyes. Suit bodycon (appreciate not in fashion rn!), midi or maxi length and like structured, modern looks. Ideally sleeves or shoulders covered, though could add a caplet or similar if sleeveless.

I found this Roland Mouret which is a bargain, and assume I would need to size up to a 16?

Or if anyone has other dresses/designers to suggest -
My budget is around 1k (my dream would be this 5k Vivienne Westwood or this). The only other I have liked online is this (bit ott)

Not stylish AT ALL but I have finally found a housecoat after months of searching. I have a white cat with longish fur and a black cat so everything I wear in the house is instantly a cat fur magnet and I have spent a fortune on sticky rollers and invariably go out looking like a furry mess....lovely.
I had given up hope of ever finding one. I remember my grandmother wearing one round the house. She was incredibly stylish and well dressed and would never have exposed her nice clothes to children, animals or housework but would take it off if she was going out or expecting visitors.
I think they are due for a comeback 😀

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09RPX62RS/ref=syn_sd_offsite_mobileweb_50?ie=UTF8&psc=1&aref=z12Im60v0s&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zZF9vZmZzaXRlX21vYmlsZXdlYg&tag=dradisplay0bb-21&th=1

I know I'll get flamed for this but I don't get it when couples only have joint finances and nothing separate.

Me and DH have a joint account to cover joint expenses (house, cars childcare) etc. We each put same in each month as earn similar.

We also have joint saving pots for certain things where we put certain amount into eg holiday, emergency fund, kids stuff.

That's it. Anything left stays in our separate personal accounts for whatever we please.

This seems like a logical way to do it. All joint obligations are sorted together but we still retain independence with what's left.

A friend of mine only does joint. She only works part time so a different situation to us but husband monitors every penny in and out. If she buys something he doesn't agree with or that she didn't clear with him first, he brings it up.

I told her my arrangement and she just said 'yes well we like to manage all the money together, as a team'. Right ok, sounds more like financial abuse than team work but hey ho

DH and I were at a homebuilding and renovation show yesterday as we're in the middle of an extension project. Specifically we 're on the hunt for a new front door and while looking around one of the vendors we had a "pretty women" moment.

We had a look at the various products on show before trying to get the attention of one of the representatives who appeared to be avoiding our gaze. Eventually she approached and I said 'hi, we're interested in bespoke front doors and quite like this one on show'.

Without asking our budget or any of our requirements she went into a spiel about how the doors were very expensive, how they were imported from Lithuania and the import charge was also expensive, all the while wincing as she was saying it. She then said we might be better off with a more mass manufactured door. I was absolutely stunned at her condescending tone. She hadn't asked a single question about what we were looking for.

I was so close to confronting her about her approach, but held back. DH calmly told her her sales pitch needs some work and we walked away, but I was fuming. We were both dressed smart/casually so the only thing I can think is she guaged our age (late thirties) and made an assumption we couldn't afford it (even though we can).

WWYD in that situation? I'm half inclined to email the company and provide feedback on our experience but I also don't know if it's worth the energy.

Would love to hear if anyone that's had a similar experience but DID confront the rude person as I'm still annoyed I didn't give her a piece of my mind.