AIBU to ask family to keep vegan takeaway dishes separate?

[TakeawayRow]

Last weekend we got an Indian takeaway with family who were visiting. Everyone chose their food and I ordered it.

Some people decided they wanted to try others food, everyone was ok with that but I asked that people didn’t use the same utensils for the vegan dishes and meat dishes because I’m vegan and didn’t want meat in my food.

I thought this was a normal, fair and easy request but a couple of my family members started saying I was being over the top and asking what I thought would happen if some meat got in my food. I said I didn’t want to eat meat or animal products, even tiny amount, not that I thought anything would happen. They accused me of ruining the evening. I didn’t. I asked them, they caused a fuss, I explained my reasons and then carried on with the night. Everyone else got on with the night but these 2 spent the evening making sarcastic comments towards me and ignoring me at times.

Would you have had an issue with using separate utensils to put some of the vegan food on your plate, would you have seen it as ‘over the top’ or just been courteous and used different utensils with no fuss?

We are seeing this family member again next month. Lucky us. We will likely get a takeaway again and I’m thinking of just saying hands off and no one can try mine. 😬

They were the ones "ruining" the mood.

I'd kick up a huge fuss if someone used meat utensils in my vegan takeaway, it's easy enough to use separate utensils for the vegan dishes.

Using separate utensils for any vegetarian food is entirely normal, everyday behaviour. I think it would be odd to do otherwise (unless only meat eaters were there).

So long as you're not helping yourself to any of their food "just to try" aswell, I think it's absolutely fine to keep yours separate.

@TakeawayRow snaffle up a few teaspoons to proffer a taster from your dish, for next time.

Your family member was totally unreasonable, sadly, some just choose to remain uneducated.

Guard yer scran!!

I would have thought it was OTT and a teeny bit precious but I would have done it without making a fuss.

Huh?

Their food had meat in so no I didn’t want to try their food. I didn’t have an issue with them trying my food, I just wanted them to use a fork without meat on when doing so.

Yanbu tbh, it's not like you demanded, you just politely asked

They're weird

Perfectly reasonable request. My son’s gf is veggie and we respect that and ensure that utensils are separate. Pretty standard in my book. The comments are uncalled for.

You are not being unreasonable. My partner is a vegan and I am not, and I would never dream of mixing up utensils like this. Sorry that your family members are dickheads.

Same. I’d keep the guest happy but have an inner eye roll.

It seems like it’s very acceptable to mock people who don’t eat dead animals. It makes them feel better and they bond over the bullying. Knobs

Would you say the same if it was an allergy? Vegans don’t want dead flesh in their stomach. Anyone who disrespects that is an inconsiderate c*nt.

You’re not in the least unreasonable! I’m vegetarian and will often get an Indian takeaway with friends. No one would use the same utensils across meat and vegetarian dishes.

It was a bit precious. I don't think I'd be in a hurry to eat with you again.

It’s the smugness for me.

I wouldn’t sit and lecture a vegan about my choice to eat meat. So why does a vegan get to lecture me?

Put serving spoons in the dishes. Use the spoon that’s in the dish. No problem.
I’d also put the veggie things at one end with a gap, for extra safety. People are weird and take other’s lifestyle as an accusation against them.

I don't understand this. It's been normal for decades to respect vegetarian or vegan diets.

It's not precious at all, just routine respect for other people.

Hopefully you are my relatives and will decide against visiting us again then and problem solved. 😂

No one is lecturing anyone. They're just asking for their food not to contain meat.

Who was being smug? Did she say she was smug or did she just ask if separate cutlery could be used ?

I did exactly that but people started using their own forks going from one to another instead of the ones I had put with each dish, which is when I asked they didn’t put meat forks in the vegan food.

OP doesn’t eat meat and doesn’t want her food contaminated. Nothing precious about that.

Her family was rude,inconsiderate and patronising.

I’m a meat eater btw.

Smugness? Lectures? I paid for everyone’s food and said nothing other than please keep utensils separate.

I actually feel like it’s become more acceptable to be outspoken and rude about vegans in the same way that it seems to have become more acceptable to be racist and sexist over the last two to three years. I’m sad for the people who wanted the world to be a better place