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Original poster

Questions about becoming a call girl.

130 replies

highclasshooker · 08/04/2008 16:32

Thinking of becoming a prostitute, I want the fast track route I don't want to stand on street corners.

I have no experience whatsoever so am looking for careers guidance.

I want to fit my hours around the school day, I need to be back to pick ds up from school at 3ish so no weekends or evenings.

Is there a demand for day time call girls?
I don't want to work from home (for obvious reasons) so where should I operate from? Do I just book a plush hotel? are there implications in using a hotel? would I need to pay them commission etc?

Can I get a career start up loan from the bank? I have no funds so would need a loan to cover clothes and personal grooming, brazilian wax etc

How do I advertise? Would a website be sufficient or do I need to advertise in specialist magazines?

Do I inform the tax office?

I don't have any sex qualifications, will this hold me back? I have never even read the kama sutra.

How much should I charge? I was thinking of around £250 for a couple of hours does this sound reasonable?

Oh and I really don't want to get a criminal record, I am a little confused about the legal implications. If there are any legal bods around please advise.

TIA

OP posts:
S1ur · 08/04/2008 16:51

this is extremely useful for you

claricebeansmum · 08/04/2008 16:51

Stockings are PR not HR.

Career start up loan...LOL

Very entertaining

Original poster
highclasshooker · 08/04/2008 16:52

Our library are looking for term time only assistants and it was what I always wanted to be when I was a little girl.

I'm not proud of my decision to become a hooker if I had listened to the likes of Xenia and not become a SAHM we wouldn't be in this mess.

OP posts:
S1ur · 08/04/2008 16:52

Damn you Mehga

hatrick · 08/04/2008 16:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MehgaLegs · 08/04/2008 16:52

mwahahahahah! Sorry Slur - Lapin bookmarked it too!

DarrellRivers · 08/04/2008 16:52

Believe PC term these days might be 'sex-worker' rather than prostitute

S1ur · 08/04/2008 16:53

Could you start at the bottom and work your way up?

Original poster
highclasshooker · 08/04/2008 16:53

My background is in HR. Dh would never believe me if I said that I had a job in PR I'm not an ab fab type.

OP posts:
claricebeansmum · 08/04/2008 16:53

Presumably you have researched by reading Belle de Jour

maisemor · 08/04/2008 16:53

Put a poster up in the school advertising your "services"!!??

I am sure you can make good money on all the SAHDs.

Lauriefairycake · 08/04/2008 16:54

I'm not quite sure that's what Xenia meant

expatinscotland · 08/04/2008 16:54

How about finding your nearest Russian or Eastern European massage parlour or sauna?

I'm sure the lovely ladies at reception will be happy to help you.

princessmel · 08/04/2008 16:56

img350.imageshack.us/img350/3808/mum9ty.jpg

Here is an idea for one of your outfits.

Original poster
highclasshooker · 08/04/2008 16:58

No I can't stand at the bottom. I want to work for myself and although I'm not too excited about the sex part I would relish the opportunity to be able to start up my own business as I don't want to let my previous work experience go to waste. I worked in HR & recruitment before becoming a mum and feel that my skills and attributes would be more suited to running my own company rather than working for a pimp.

OP posts:
Chopchopmissy · 08/04/2008 16:59

No honey £250 an HOUR not for a couple of hours - jeez girls like you give us a bad name. Dont be so cheap

claricebeansmum · 08/04/2008 17:00

Are you good at sex?

Lauriefairycake · 08/04/2008 17:00

"starting your own business"

you are renting out your fanjo !! - you are really well suited to a career in PR - go back to that

with what you've said you could sell ice to inuits

UnquietDad · 08/04/2008 17:01

This could be a whole new BBC3 show:

"Apprentice Hooker"

Starts with quotes from contestants over glossy shots of King's Cross:

"I don't mean to start at the bottom"
"I intend to give 120%"
"I consider myself the best whore in Europe"
"I'm going to beat off the opposition"
"I can take on all comers"

One job...

Sixteen contenders...

Madame Cyn has 10 weeks to find her Apprentice.

expatinscotland · 08/04/2008 17:01

Afraid you need to offer bum sex in order to be really successful.

But that's a whole other thread.

S1ur · 08/04/2008 17:02

Have you considered becoming a pimp? What is you car like? I don't think a volvo sends the right message to rival gangs... possibly if you painted flames down the side.

Could you persuade dp to get tinted windows to stop the glare in your dcs eyes?

Original poster
highclasshooker · 08/04/2008 17:03

I'm not that experienced, I have never had a one nights stand and I can count the number of previous lovers on one hand. I am quite good at faking it if that helps?

Anyway I must go and finish off ds's fish pie. Thanks for the tips I will log in later. Thanks for the belle du jour book tip, I will look out for it.

OP posts:
UnquietDad · 08/04/2008 17:03

If ya need to pimp ya Ride, hhheeerz da man

OrmIrian · 08/04/2008 17:04

How about work-based training?

expatinscotland · 08/04/2008 17:04

Well, you'd better start getting good at sucking dick and taking it up the tailpipe if you think blokes are going to stump up for dead fish sex.

It's like any other industry - you've got a lot of competition from Eastern Europeans who do it better, faster and cheaper.