Teacher upset with my child questioning about trans child

[sarahandsage]

Was Called into school today.
My daughter has just started reception in September, it’s a lovely village school, and she’s made lots of friends and settled in really well.

Yesterday I was called into have chat with her teacher.
Was informed my child has a trans girl in her class, and that my child is questioning the teacher every day about this.
That all the other children accept this child was born in the wrong body, yet my daughter is questioning ‘too much’.

I said we encourage curiosity amongst our children, so am
not surprised.

The teacher then said that my child was taken to one side and read a couple of books :
My name is Jazz
and one about a crayon that feels like a different colour.
Which was astonishing to me, because really singling out a child to (as the teacher said ) “Get her on board”, feels very pushy.

My daughter is very kind, and plays with all the children in the class including the trans girl.
The teacher is not concerned with unkindness, but that my daughter is not accepting enough, and she has asked us to reiterate pronouns and that this child is a girl.

This is the first school experience for us, as previously my daughter was at a childminder

It feels very wrong to single out a child, and read books that introduce a concept that we haven’t broached with our children yet.

Really?

I would take her out of the school immediately, which I realise is quite a big deal.

I wanted to speak to the head, but I don’t even know what to say.
The teacher kept using words like misgdender, and “get her on board”.

I'd be furious about the Jazz book - they had no right to read that to your DD and I really question why a book like that is even in a Reception class. To be honest I'd be questioning whether this is the right school for your daughter ...

On a side note how sad for the "trans girl" in the class, who will never get to experience a normal childhood if his parents/carers keep feeding this delusional behaviour.

I haven’t read either of the books , but have looked them up on Amazon.
The other one is called ‘Red’ by Michael Hall.

I wonder if the books are there because the teacher is trying to ‘help’.

Teacher seemed like the dream, gentle, creative, and my daughter really likes her.

If this is happening, which seems unlikely really, I don’t think there’s much point in speak to the head. You don’t know what to say because there isn’t anything you can say.

I would be astonished if the head didn’t know what was happening and I wouldn’t want my child in a school where that was happening and the person in charge did know or in a school where that was happening and the person in charge didn’t know.

There is a similar thread on the other feminism board that covers this, worth a read

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5577107-my-work-insisting-i-refer-to-a-9-year-old-as-theythem?page=1

Agreed.
If this is literally what happened i'd meet headteacher but presumably shes aware.
following that i'd email the HT and governors and remove her / change her school.

That poor child being groomed as a toddler presumably....

It is happening, the teacher told me herself.

For more context, the teacher is also new to the school and started in September too.

Thank you so much, I’ll go and have a read now.

I don't really understand why your daughter is questioning the teacher? I have the world's most curious child and after one explanation, my DC would have moved on from this.

Are you bringing your child up in a home that supports and welcomes difference and inclusivity? Of sexuality and race, if not gender differences yet? E.g. sometimes two men love each other and get married, it's not always just a man and a woman. Or yes, Rudi's mum is brown and her dad is white and Rudi is a bit of both, just like the ginger cat and the black cat have kittens that are mixed.

Am I foolish to think that a conversation with the head can change anything?

I’m not concerned that there is a trans girl in the class, children are going to come across trans people in life.
What I don’t want is for my child to be read books about the subject, she’s only 5, and asking questions is normal - although I get that it’s not convenient for the teacher with a room
full of kids.

Darf ?

Your child is being a PITA.

Was informed my child has a trans girl in her class, and that my child is questioning the teacher every day about this.

Explain whatever you want to your child about this child/issue and get your child to move on - and ask new questions in class.

This is the third thread like this and the age of the children keeps getting younger. At least the school has enough staff to give so much 1:1 attention to this issue. At this stage in the term, reception teachers are generally knee deep in establishing basic classroom routines whilst trying to teach some phonics and maths. They are more concerned about stopping Bob hurling objects at everyone and the fact that Mandy didn't make it to the loo on time.

Spelling mistake - daft!

They’re 4! This nonsense doesn’t belong in a reception classroom. Or any classroom

I also asked the teacher this, and the context and what questions is she asking exactly, and what answers is she being given ?

My daughter knows about differences in race and sexuality, but no we’ve not discussed gender at this point.

I never believe threads like this. Schools don’t push the beliefs. It always just seems like a way to rile people up.

Agree - or sort your children yourselves to fit reality.

I suspect either this isn't real OR if it is, the child is being brought up in a very monocultural, binary viewpointed family environment.

The thing is, there is clear evidence that some schools have been pushing this, at least at an older age. There is new guidance though that I think means they shouldn't.
It may take the OP some time but she should read the thread I linked as I think it covers the legal issues and arguments for and against going along with it quite thoroughly. It will give the OP strategies.

(If this thread real then reading the other one will help, if for some reason it isn't, it saves everyone else rehashing it all here.)

You absolutely don't have to discuss gender. But difference in general needs to be part of every child's world view.

Sexuality. Ethnicity. Culture. Animals. Food.

Difference is the norm.

Boys can have long hair. Girls can have short hair. A child can be brown with a white mum. Some children don't live with their parents, they live with their granny. You have a bedroom on your own. James shares with his brother. Asha is an only child, but Molly has six brothers and sisters.

I can believe that this is happening in a village school, particularly if the trans child has very vocal, forceful parents.