Teacher upset with my child questioning about trans child

[sarahandsage]

Was Called into school today.
My daughter has just started reception in September, it’s a lovely village school, and she’s made lots of friends and settled in really well.

Yesterday I was called into have chat with her teacher.
Was informed my child has a trans girl in her class, and that my child is questioning the teacher every day about this.
That all the other children accept this child was born in the wrong body, yet my daughter is questioning ‘too much’.

I said we encourage curiosity amongst our children, so am
not surprised.

The teacher then said that my child was taken to one side and read a couple of books :
My name is Jazz
and one about a crayon that feels like a different colour.
Which was astonishing to me, because really singling out a child to (as the teacher said ) “Get her on board”, feels very pushy.

My daughter is very kind, and plays with all the children in the class including the trans girl.
The teacher is not concerned with unkindness, but that my daughter is not accepting enough, and she has asked us to reiterate pronouns and that this child is a girl.

This is the first school experience for us, as previously my daughter was at a childminder

It feels very wrong to single out a child, and read books that introduce a concept that we haven’t broached with our children yet.

This. The school seem to be applying section 7 of the Equality Act without regard to safeguarding.

Schools shouldn't be forcing other children or staff to use preferred pronouns. The statutory framework ‘Keeping Children Safe in Education (KCSIE)’ - government safeguarding and gender questioning guidelines - explicitly states that primary school aged children shouldn’t be referred to by pronouns that don’t match their biological sex. The school insisting that all other children refer to this child by their chosen pronouns is in direct conflict with the guidelines.

Under the guidelines schools cannot punish, discipline or sanction other children who use a classmate's birth sex or biological pronouns - the accepted and encouraged safeguard is to refer to the chid by their preferred first name.

A child has a built in BS detector

They will question until they know they are being told the truth, or are too scared to keep asking

OP's child knows they are being lied to

I'm assuming that's a typo for daft?
That stuck out to me too - asking every day?!
Ok, fine to ask questions, but it could come across as a bit harassy or bullying if someone's on at you every day about the same thing, asking the same questions.

That's what I asked.

i hope the questions are kept to the adults and the classmate isn't getting them every day. If you are unhappy with the school explaining it to your daughter with books, then you need to be discussing it at home to the point she is satisfied as for her to be repeatedly bringing it up daily is just too much for everyone concerned.

I find it interesting that she is having trouble with accepting the child's preffered pronouns, as my 4 year old son and the others I know are very much go with the flow about things at their age and would be satisfied with something like
'Jenny in your class at school likes to be called 'she' as a little girl'.

There was one in my sons P1 class. A trans girl. She’s still a trans girl. They’re now 35. There was a gay child in my youngest’s P1 class. He’s still gay. They’re 30.

when I was 8 there was a family nearby with children of a similar age. ‘Lynn’ was 2 years younger and absolutely insisted he was a boy. It wasn’t his family putting it on him, it was him. He would get furious if people treated him as female. He remained like that and has fully transitioned as an adult.

Denying it is a thing for me feels like the old attitudes to same sex relationships, and saying ‘they’re mentally I’ll’ and suggesting therapy is no different to the conversion programmes that are still out there. And frankly, at that age, even if it’s a phase, it’s not doing any harm, I wonder what the questions are, and why your daughter is asking in school but not at home. It reads like she’s trying to generate attention to the trans child, and embarrass them honestly.

It does seem a very strange thing for a 4 year old to do.

I would consider telling your child that "Lucy" is a boy but he is pretending to be a girl and everyone is going along with it to make him feel happier.

If she's questioning along the lines of "but how can a boy be a girl?" then the idea of make-believe might help.
Concerned the child in question sometimes wants biological pronouns though, makes you wonder who is pushing the transition.

There have been several threads outlining similar issues recently. A recent one involved an autistic five year old being forced to refer to a ‘transgendering’ classmate by their preferred pronouns. Seems to be a problem with primary schools applying the law without referring to statutory safeguarding which specifically prohibits this.

“Trans” 4 year old = child abuse

Which is something I’m always surprised is even up for debate. Anyone that thinks it dosent happen please watch I am jazz. No idea how all the filming/production people went along with that

There is no "trans" child in your little girls class. The child has not "transitioned" from anything. I would be taking this matter to the governers and demanding to know why your childs teacher has punished your child. I would also want to know exactly when the school had decided to become the "thought Police" If the answers arent good enough contact you MP followed by the media.

The first thing teachers do at the start of the year is upgrade all their training, including safeguarding. I'm astonished by the claims on here. Seriously.

Says the adult who can't spell a four letter word or conjugate a verb correctly.

Are you in the USA? (If you are, fair enough but it would be helpful to have that in your posts so people know where this allegedly took place)

I call bs on this, yet another post about a strong minded little girl and a trans classmate. Either you want praise from the gender critical women on here, or outrage from those who believe in acceptance and are anti bullying. Either way it’s rage bait and I don’t believe this for a minute.

It does only seem to be primary schools - at least on the MN threads I’ve seen. I don’t understand how they can just ignore the guidelines, unless it’s individual teachers quietly trying to push their own agendas under the radar.

The poster said kindergarten in another one of their posts so doesn't sound like it.

That isn’t the gotcha you think it is.
Transing small children is extremely high risk. Becoming a trans adult with lifelong health needs is not a great outcome.

Allowing small children to learn about the world and all the different ways we exist in it is healthy. They get to choose their direction as they become more experienced. Social transition backs DC into a corner they struggle to escape- at only 4 years old, that’s appalling.

Not gay animals. But yes, watching a video about 2 male swans adopting an egg, yes.

And exposing them to multicultural experiences.

Whereas I wouldn't brainwash a child into seeing gender as binary. Because I'm not obsessed.

Agree

Wasn't meant to anything other than the truth.

If this is legit, you should just have an age appropriate conversation with your child about different beliefs and opinions. In our house it normally goes like this:

• Teacher/friend/whoever said XYZ, but I don’t think that!
• Oh okay what do you think? Why do you think that?
• Explain the other person has their own reasons for what they think and that it’s okay to disagree as long as we are respectful.
• Sometimes we just agree to disagree and that’s what’s best, but if it’s really bothering you maybe take a step back from that person.
• If it’s a teacher or authority figure say that their job is to keep you safe and your job is to learn so you should focus on that over the disagreement.

My kids sometimes get a bit wrapped up or hung up on a certain thing they don’t understand and that’s very normal. That sounds like what’s happening with your daughter. I generally just try and move them on or if they really won’t let it go we will do some “research” on it but most of the time they’ll just let it go.

Weird. I'm in a state secondary school with 1,800 students. Quite a few who are openly gay, so no problem with inclusion there, but not one child who identifies as another sex. We have a few students who prefer to be non binary, but there are absolutely no issues whatsoever.
We know the law, we know about safeguarding and our policies are very clear.
I'm beginning to think primary schools are another world.

'A child has a built in BS detector'

Unlike the people on this thread!