The Bluestocking: All You Need to Know About Risk Assessments, Jazz Hands, Battenberg and Sourdough (But Were Afraid to Ask) - and gerbils. Lots and lots of gerbils.

[MyrtleLion]

Welcome to The Bluestocking, the perfectly overblown, gloriously chaotic all-women’s pub where you can have a bit of a lie down if you need it.

Expect serious debates on musicals, cake and knitting, and whimsical musings on women’s rights and why the world’s on fire (again), all under the calm supervision of our support staff: gerbils, capybaras, and the occasional quokka on secondment.

The alcohol won’t get you drunk, the pastries won’t make you fat, but the conversation will digress, and that’s the point.

Remember to namechange before posting if you’re sometimes someone else.

And all that went over the top of Mauds head. Not helped by the hour of online banking hell.

She ended up using the donate button on the website.

I'll email them tomorrow on Mauds behalf.

So beautiful.
So many Mauds.

It’s getting frosty so we are at least on the cusp of winter now.

I am in long pj bottoms tonight. It's bloody freezing.

Plus if it's anything like last night I'll be stood on the doorstep at 3.30 in the morning in my night clothes describing the man who just tried to kick my front door in (fairly sure he was aiming for a house a few doors away).

So tonight I'd rather not be doing it in summer snoopy shorts.

@AsWithGlad I have just realised why none of the PayPal stuff made sense.

Neither Maud or myself? Myself and Maud? Maud nor myself? Use PayPal.

OMG Boily, that's awful. Hope he's been dealt with & hope you have a peaceful night.

@Boiledbeetle , ah, congratulations. You and Maud don’t have my habit of buying things online from private sellers then.

I am one of the moderators for a group for buying and selling certain items which are used in our various hobbies. It’s heavily moderated so it’s clearly my selfless duty to check the board often. This does sometimes lead to more temptation than I can resist.

Fingers crossed you have an undisturbed night tonight.

I'm fairly sure he doesn't fancy a repeat of the jug of cold water I threw over his head from the upstairs window. Not my finest moment but as the guy said on the other end of the 999 call "I don't blame you". But then he could hear the guy shouting he was going to kill me and I was a fucking cunt.

The idiot did very nicely look directly into the ring doorbell camera though so I'm sure they'll know him on sight, he seemed like the sort they are used to having in the cells on a weekly basis.

I assume they found him last night, there can't have been that many drugged up blokes with a very wet head and back wandering the area at that time of day.

Never.

Amazon and Sainsbury's are my online go to places.

Anytime I try anywhere else I get a call from the card people saying they've stopped payment because they think it's fraudulent. I really should fully join the 21st century at some point

I have knitted two of these Christmas stockings and I've nearly finished one in turquoise. I'm going to do one each in blue, teal and pink.

They're quite quick because it's super chunky wool with large needles.

Anyway it didn't take as much wool as I expected, so I'm wondering if I could knit some more with the spare wool for next year's Christmas auction. What do you think?

Well they are exceedingly cute 😍

They're quite big! You could probably fit 5-7 gerbils in each one.

AI hasn't understood the concept of the top of the stocking, but they do look cute.

I should definitely knit a Blue Stocking!

I'm sorry to have missed all the excitement yesterday. We had visitors all day and evening so I didn't even get to bid for anything myself this time. So proud of Maud though, and glad to see the other gerbils forgive her for locking them up. They're a true picture of grace and friendship!

I love this. I just love it. X

Those stocking are gorgeous @MyrtleLion as you've got the wool, if you enjoy doing them and if you can spare the time, you should definitely do more.

Bloody hell, Boily! Well done with the jug of water, he 100% deserved it.

I love the fact that not only has Woolly Hugs received a lovely donation, but K&P gets to enjoy the bauble for all her hard work.

So sorry to hear about the attack, Boily, it sounds really scary.
I think pouring cold water over him from upstairs was an absolutely OK and non-violent thing to do, and the perp should be bloody thankful it was clean water😠
It must feel very unsettling, and I hope there are no repeats

I'm not going to copy all of the message from Knotty & Pistey to Maud, but I'm sure she won't mind me putting a few bits here:

"Maud is coming home forever?! FOREVER!

I love Maud and in a strange but very definite way, I missed her when she went back to the Bluestocking. I can’t quite believe she’s home now forever.

A gerbil is for life. Not just Christmas. This beauty is going up and staying up!"

Definitely on both points. Maud, aided and abetted by Boily, have done a lovely thing - and of course thanks for this lovely Xmas tale also to to android.

Pity Boily didnt have a gazunder to hand to anoint the shithead with.

(sorry slow typing…that was re Edith’s post)

That is just lovely. <sniffles slightly> <must have a bit of a cold coming on..>

💙

Awwww to K&P's response.

Much nicer people over here than some of the participants in that tribunal in Belfast...

My nose is cold. Do you think one of the resident staff might have a solution? I could dive headfirst into a hot chocolate again, but that tends to worry people.

There's a thread about furry heated throws which is making me want one, but DH is vetoing it. Maybe you could have a nose-sized one? Or just get one of the gerbils to lie on it.

I did ponder asking a gerbil to sit on my nose, but it sounded weird. And I was worried they might think it was demeaning.