The Bluestocking: All You Need to Know About Risk Assessments, Jazz Hands, Battenberg and Sourdough (But Were Afraid to Ask) - and gerbils. Lots and lots of gerbils.

[MyrtleLion]

Welcome to The Bluestocking, the perfectly overblown, gloriously chaotic all-women’s pub where you can have a bit of a lie down if you need it.

Expect serious debates on musicals, cake and knitting, and whimsical musings on women’s rights and why the world’s on fire (again), all under the calm supervision of our support staff: gerbils, capybaras, and the occasional quokka on secondment.

The alcohol won’t get you drunk, the pastries won’t make you fat, but the conversation will digress, and that’s the point.

Remember to namechange before posting if you’re sometimes someone else.

Part time

when t'internet says 'Red pandas mainly eat bamboo shoots and leaves, but also enjoy small insects, fish, eggs, fruits, and vegetables' Boily isn't a small insect, is she?

Oh no, she's MASSIVE (but don't tell her I said so!). Nobody small could eat that many Tunnocks.

PS Happy Rosy Appreciation Day everyone!

There was probably a supplemental verse somewhere in the H&S song, lift with your legs not your back and eat enough Tunnocks to give you a body that discourages carnivores.

I'll have you know I'm just big boned

Boily isn't a small insect, is she?

<Rosy! NO! That's not an amuse-bouche, that's Boily!>

Well let's just say she's smaller now...😨

😱😢

um

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Beetles don't have bones

Rosie! Stop it. It tickles.

Shush now.

👋

Oops! Beetle, you look a bit soggy. Would you like a towel?

Please. Next time Rosie offers me a lift I'll say no thanks. I was expecting to ride in style attached to her fur, not for her to carry me like a cub.

And that's the way I like it! leans in for an affectionate kiss for old time's sake, then realises Boiled Beetle is about to belch loudly, & stands back, leafing through the H&S manual hurriedly for the right page. Gerbils who are better prepared run over with full welding masks & ear defenders.

Of course, you never know with beetles

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/when-beetle-gets-eaten-frog-it-forces-its-way-out-back-door-180975484/

Here you go. It's microfibre. Should bring your external skeleton up a treat.

Mushrooms do that with me. I've stopped eating them. It's the Crohn's, you know.

Er Deano, how did you manage to find that so quickly? Do you have a few... um... hobbies that we don't know about?

.

😆

as it happens, the most recent Donna Andrews mystery novel I finished featured them as an aside. So a week ago I would not have known about Boily's potential escape route.

Quite honestly I find some of my relatives behaviours horrifying!

Anyway must get back to cleaning the yard.

Of course. It sounds so reasonable when you say it like that.

Well that took me down a rabbit hole.

Have you finished it?

Yes! Discovered some books I had never heard of.

Thanks everyone for tending the thread. It's not "my" thread but I did start it and I feel I should be here more often.

I was on Tribunal pasting duty yesterday and catching up on that thread took hours this morning and I see there are another 50 posts already.

Plus big family discussions about the urgent situation which has been resolved for now but will require more attention in the next couple of weeks. I won't say exactly what it is as it's very sensitive and involves a child. I don't have children.

So hello everyone and welcome to the new people whether staying or visiting and a big wave at the lurkers. We know you are here and I hope you are enjoying the ridiculousness.

Ridiculousness, Myrtle?! I'll have you know I am never ridiculous! I'm just occasionally not entirely serious.

😂

Also I think the husky rat should be called Harriet. And it's MY thread so that is the law. [ignoring my own comment above so I get my way]