The Bluestocking - where Spring has sprung and the grass is riz.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Welcome all. Can the gerbils please ensure that all the Tunnocks products are safely stowed in the capacious larder, and perhaps the quokkas could be responsible for counting everyone onto the bus and back off at the new thread - many thanks!

Ouch! Break an ankle shoes. Only possible with gin and no need to stand up @Magpiecomplex ! I have red ones, too, for dancing.

Having taste tested too much Guinness last night the gerbils are not capable of putting their all into the decorations, but are up and decorating.

Gertrude has retired back to bed claiming a migraine.

We all know full well she's just hung over!

Morning back off to work today gardening !

I listen to audiobooks at night, when I'm trying to fall asleep, @Britinme - mainly history. I find that the historian Dan Jones has the most soporific voice - 20 minutes of him telling me about the Plantagenets or the Wars of the Roses, and I am sparko.

And to you, Deano.

<eyes trifle>

Happy St Patrick's Day!

What's on the menu?

Btw 30 years since Father Ted debuted, give or take a few days.

Gertrude's 'migraine' reminds me of an old song, I remember hearing it on the radio when I was little and not understanding it - I do now, as does Gertrude:

Oh rock-a-bye baby so warm in your nest
Your poor daddy's not well and he must have a rest
His head is just splittin'
He says it's the flu
But that's not the real reason
Between me and you!

☘Happy St Patrick's Day☘ to those so inclined

Lá Fhéile Pádraig Sona Duit

Go raibh míle maith agat, a Lána na Fuiseoige, tá sé sin an-ghleoite ar fad!
Thank you so much, Lark1ane, that is so cute!☘
[I made the 1 in your username into an L and translated 'Lark Lane' into Irish.]

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGeniuswhen I visit the UK on my own I do listen to music or an audiobook to help me go to sleep, but normally DH is next to me. I should LTB shouldn’t I?

Or get really good earphones and/or earplugs for him. DH is sometimes an insomniac audio book listener, which isn’t an issue except on holiday but his choices are usually sufficiently soporific I don’t mind. The key seems to be something which doesn’t have a plot you need to follow closely or be able to pick up from an exact point where you driftered off.

My phone does feed into my hearing aids but they have to go into their charger overnight and in any case would be damned uncomfortable to sleep in. Maybe I should buy headphones.

Someone I know runs a Tank Museum.

No need!
I have these and they are really soft and don't press too hard on the ears. DH has no idea what I'm listening to.

It's a headband that can also be used as a sleepmask.

https://amzn.eu/d/fYSnYVs

Evidence of the invigorating power of tea, hot cross buns and breakfast gerbils.

Apologies for the delay, the gerbils have been a bit slow to get going today. No idea why.

The gerbils are a bit short staffed because they're getting ready for a St Patrick;s day parade. The Quokkas are going to stand on each other's shoulders to be St P and the gerbils are dividing into seven groups - in each they are going to hold onto the tail of the gerbil in front of them and be the fleeing snakes. The Capybaras are all coming as the pigs and sheep Patrick looked after during his enslavement and various flying creatures are going to be the flocks of demons that tormented him on the mountain. Remember, it's a surprise, so look astonished.

Even with the forewarning, I don’t think anyone will have difficulty looking astonished by that performance!

I've heard the capybara are coming as pigs and the pigs are going to be sheep. I think they just wanted to dress up.

I've tried waking the squirrels from hibernation. They rolled over, pulled the blankets over their heads and asked for five more minutes.

Errol, I think they're hoping you'll join in with the demon flock.

Bagsy being a demon too. Could do with some fun after today.

I think I’ll pass on that, goodness knows what they might come up with for St George’s Day if I start participating in this sort of thing.

Well be like that Errol.

Magpie will make a splendid demon.

Coloured contacts and job done!

Pick me! Pick! I wanna be a demon!

I'm in exactly the correct frame of mind given the general fuckery that has afflicted the family since Christmas.

Also I have had a lot of flame thrower practice since I found it yesterday. It's my new favourite toy.

And isn't it amazing how the tea changed the colour of my hair from sulky brown to cheerful blonde.