The Bluestocking - where Spring has sprung and the grass is riz.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Welcome all. Can the gerbils please ensure that all the Tunnocks products are safely stowed in the capacious larder, and perhaps the quokkas could be responsible for counting everyone onto the bus and back off at the new thread - many thanks!

That's useful, but someone really needs to audit the accounts.

At this rate we're going to need a Board of Trustees or something. Can't we just tell reality to sod off, and pay the gerbils out of some AI-organised imaginary trust fund?

@Magpiecomplex

Oh, thank God!!!

I am breathing much easier now. In fact, I’m going to pour a gin. I was feeling a bit frazzled back there. Thank you so much Giant Wombat. If there’s anything you need…

The gerbils tell me they don't want pay, but may they have a supply of fresh Parsley please? It's their favourite.

And some fresh sand to burrow in too.

We could get the blokes from the Staunch Ally to make themselves useful? They have to be good for something more than being eye candy!

Edith is right; things could go pear-shaped if we’re not careful.

Can we say the gerbils are family? Someone’s children? I think if they’re all under 16 (which I imagine they are, although blessed with eternal life, but the inland revenue don’t need to be aware of that complication) and the product of our wombs, then they’re just helping out in the family business, aren’t they?

Does Giant Wombat know?

Look, Swashy, I know @FuzzyPuffling and I went through a stage of having a number of illicit love children, but none of them EVER looked like a gerbil!

@Magpiecomplex

I feel reluctant to get the Staunch Ally involved. I think we need to keep this under wraps until we’re clear on the legalities. I’d rather we keep it within these four walls for now.

Splendid idea. There must a few solicitors and accountants amongst them. I'd even volunteer to lend a hand - I've done enough tax returns in my time.

Oh, disagreement here with Swashy!

Can I also point out that birds don't have wombs?

Also very true. Nor do dragons!

@Magpiecomplex

Of course.

I’m just wondering if we could spin it as a yarn to HMRC. Not meaning to cast aspersions on your gene pool. But would HMRC be convinced?

I feel certain they are GTS ( Gerbil Training Scheme) trainees so different rules apply. Indeed, as the Government has not yet set its rules for the GTS we can carry on regardless.

They'd still like their Parsley and sand please.

I think @FuzzyPuffling has found the correct explanation here.

Bugger! Now I’m back to feeling anxious.

It’s going to be 10 gin night at this rate.

Do we have any willing mammals
among us? Or could the gerbils be adopted?

So what is it?

1. Giant Wombat overseen by Board of Trustees and external audit?
2. An imaginary trust fund that deals with all of the Bluestocking's tiresome financials?
3. A midnight flit to vacate the premises, with no forwarding address for the gerbils who buggered off to their Guild conference leaving the bar woefully understaffed?
4. Bringing in the boys from the Staunch Ally? In retrospect getting the Menz to do the sums isn't very feminist, we should be doing them ourselves.

It's all far too complicated for a Saturday night after a strong gin.

I may have no womb, but I do have a very cosy burrow in the cliffs.

We're close enough to filling this thread that I vote for number 3!

Actually, I'm for option 5:
GTS, parsley and sand. Simple.
The HMRC will never catch us!

Giant Wombat is an external auditor and will pass anything, as long as you don't steal her baby for the insta likes.

Thank you @FuzzyPuffling

I don’t know what’s up with me tonight. I’m like a Lady reaching for smelling salts! (I just love the gerbils so much.)

GTS.

Sorted.

After all, we've trained those gerbils.

What is GTS?

I'm working on the sand and parsley.

Gerbil Training Scheme.
Like the YTS of many moons ago, which paid a pittance but was AOK with the tax man.

Gerbil Training Scheme.