Bluestocking: Do androids dream of electric hair?

[ifIwerenotanandroid]

Previously on 'The Bluestocking':
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5198256-autumn-leaves-crackling-fires-quokkas-and-puffins-at-the-bluestocking?page=40&reply=139728736

Well of course. It would be.

To be fair to AI if we have a settled spell of really hot weather (so a few days each decade) I might eat a breakfast of tea and sliced cheese, charcuterie, cherry tomatoes and celery, tea, berries, tea, toast butter and marmalade and tea.

But still no beer, cacti, or coffee. Or beans.

Though I did once, long long long ago, breakfast on cold baked beans out of the tin, washed down with Pernod. Since then I have seen the error of my youthful ways.

Mushy peas or guacamole?
[That's a time-and-geography-specific reference, but I think most of you will get it]

I'll have anything vegetable ye don't want thank you, just pile it on my plate there. Maybe hold the stewed celery, though😬

Deano - cold baked beans out of a tin washed down with Pernod - la dolce vita or wha?

@DeanElderberry 'Breakfast order from me: Tea (in a pot, with an accompanying milk jug). Meat ingredients, one each of ; rasher, sausage, black pudding slice, white pudding slice. Poached egg (1). Button mushrooms, lightly grilled tomato. Tea. Stewed apple. Tea. Toast, butter and marmalade. Tea.'

I was tempted to AI this request until I got to the pudding slices. I draw the line at black pudding, & I don't even want to know what's in a white pudding. So... sorry, Dean.

PS Step away from the Pernod. Don't make me set the quokkas on you.

@MarieDeGournay 'Mushy peas or guacamole?
[That's a time-and-geography-specific reference, but I think most of you will get it]'

Ooh, look at you being all political!

la dolce vita or wha?

Definitely wha? I was in Cork at the time.

Is it a cactus or a random artichoke?

You could be right, it could indeed be a (very) random artichoke.

I suppose if it's an artichoke the mystery substance in the little bowl might be aioli. I'd eat that. I might even follow it with a little Pernod (in water). But not for breakfast or even brunch.

So the AI is giving us food suitable for many random meals, but omitting decent breakfast foods like white pudding and rashers, and stacking everything together on too small a plate in an uncouth and unappealing way..

It needs to go away and have a little think.

I have but one thing to say....
Cornflakes.

And?

I mean, good or bad?

Much better - but the AI ignored my request for hash browns & it put milk in my tea. Very close to perfection, though.

That's more like it! Although probably too many beans for Deano.

Much better. A plate please for my friend @FuzzyPuffling who will eat the beans, possibly with some of the toast. She would like cutlery as well, she has genteel table manners. I would like marmalade, a sideplate, a pot with more tea, a milk jug and little bowl of stewed apple.

I would also like the egg (hard boiled? raw? just laid?) the bowl of coagulating blood and the ominous pellets removed, and a clean tablecloth.

Thanking you in advance.

I'm remembering a work training session in Co Cavan and my colleague Amanda getting very stern and commanding with an unfortunate waitress who brought her a half tomato with her vegetarian breakfast instead of a whole tomato.

I think it's ketchup, not coagulating blood. Or at least I hope so.

@Magpiecomplex, you need to suppress this tendency to see the best and make allowances and to hope for the best in the face of ominous possibilities. When some of us chided Amanda for being too demanding she was very firm on the importance of upholding standards.

Sorry @DeanElderberry , just call me a hopeless optimist. Although I suppose if it IS a bowl of coagulating blood then eventually it will become the missing black pudding.

Breakfast with no bother. Uncontroversial.

But Fuzzy, cornflakes are LITERALLY loaded with sugar! You might as well eat a bowl of Smarties for breakfast! My children have only ever had gruel for breakfast. With a kale smoothie.

A bowl of Smarties??? Now you're talking!

I could do with some Smarties currently. Marking coursework. Someone send the bar gerbil over with chocolate regularly please.

The AI's losing it again. And I didn't ask for 'ethniccally' (sic) anything.

Other than the horrific hand, the last one looks best! Although I like the food science lab, I fancy working there!

Had a go at training the AI to do a realistic image of an academic magpie marking papers, while a small line of gerbils brings a selection of different chocolate bars to magpie so that she can have them with her cup of tea in the library at the bluestocking pub.

Hmmmmmmm ...... you'd think it would be quite straightforward ... but no.

Ooh one last go and it complied! Gah!