The Bluestocking Arms is temporarily closed due to flooding. The nearby River Reality broke its banks and flooded the ground floor. Fortunately the irreplaceable works of art by B. Beetle, I. F. Werenotanandroid etc were moved to safety by a team of volunteers, including Dame Edith Evans, who generously took time out of her busy afterlife to help fill sandbags, despite a slight misunderstanding of what kind of bag she was supposed to be filling with sand.
Bluestocking regulars will be pleased to know that the wine and cheese shop Le Bas Bleu is located a few doors up the hill, and so was unaffected by the flooding and remains open. There you will find a wide range of superior French wines and cheeses, which despite being of the finest quality contain neither breathalyser-triggering alcohol nor calories, and are self-regenerating.
Regular wine-tasting sessions are run by Jane S. 'you too can sound like a complete w ine expert' Littlegirl -', with occasional sessions in French by Marie de Gournay, enabling you to sound like an even more complete w ine expert.
The Bluestocking Arms will re-open as soon as the Reality levels fall, and the all regulars can enjoy again their usual level of surreality.
To celebrate the re-opening, the Bluestocking will be serving a specially-developed cocktail to mark the occasion, consisting of vodka, blended Tunnock, chocolate liqueur and cream, topped with a chocolate shard in the shape of a quokka. A competition will be held to name the new cocktail.
Your very good health!
Wishing all of us a swift return to very good health, and to fun and games dahn the Stockin'