I guess this should be an AIBU to be angry

[Worldgonecrazy]

Yesterday early afternoon, walking down the local High Street in a small market town on the south coast. About 15ft ahead of me I immediately spotted a man, walking with, I presume, his wife. The man had longish grey curly hair, was carrying a small handbag in the crook of his arm and wearing a very, very short white pleated skirt made of a flimsy material. It was a very windy day, so every few seconds the man’s skirt would lift in the wind to reveal his pink lacy underwear. He knew what he was wearing and knew what he was doing, allowing his fetish to take place in front of unwilling and unwitting participants, including children. No doubt he went home and wanked himself stupid afterwards.

I am so angry that if I had called him out for the autogynephillic pervert he was, I am the one who would be castigated as a bigot. And as for how wife, facilitating and supporting this utter bullshit! I am so angry that these men are allowed to get away with these behaviours. I guess most normal men would just point and laugh and not think too deeply about it.

I feel completely impotent and annoyed that i didn’t say anything.

sorry - just needed a rant!

Grosse, it’s happening more & more.

Vile. I would have been angry too. Furious, in fact. More fool his wife for going along with it.

The thing is you can't call it out as it's not progressive.

Men performing their sexual fetish in public in front of women and children is progressive.

Gross.
Sorry you had to see that OP.
And yes the feeling of powerless is the worst.

🤢 revolting

Flasher enabled by idiots.

Yes. I was at a festival last year and this bloke was there with his wife and children, he had a stuffed bra on under a woman’s camisole-type vest, and had an attempt at make up. He was posing and slightly pivoting on one leg like a prostitute looking for business from passers by. I felt so angry with him, not just for making a mockery of my sex by stuffing a bra to mimic our bodies, but for doing in front of me, my kids and worse, seeing the humiliation in his wife - how she hid beneath her fringe, and the angry hostile defiance in his children - angry that people like me judge their dad, angry that their dad doesn’t care about the impact on others and angry that their mum doesn’t do anything about it. There’s a reason why some things, if they are done at all, should be kept private.

DH works with a guy like that.

He’s got breast implants and wears incredibly tight dresses. So much so that you can see the outline of his penis.

DH is GC and hates that he and the rest of his team are made unwilling parties to this guys fetish. Nobody can say anything.

People can wear what they want if it’s decent. I’d have given him a dirty look in the same way I would a woman dressed similarly inappropriately.

It's akin to him having a wank in the street though.

I wouldn't blame the wives in these scenarios. These men are known to be the worst kind of abusive narcissists. And the wives, as well as being ground down by him, will probably have had it drilled into them by various advocates, that to be anything other than supportive of their husband's new identity makes them hideous bigots and transphobes.

That might well have been even more exciting to him.

Women dressing inappropriately aren't usually doing it because it turns them on to involve non consenting others in their personal sexual thrills. Flashing is a known starting point towards rape in many escalating rapists. This is a paraphilia being conducted in the hope of people being nice and pretending it is something other than it is.

So you feel the need to call out women who wear short skirts and can see their knickers if its raining?

The difference is, male exhibitionism is oppressive and frightening for women and children. Instinctively, we know that this boundary crossing is likely to escalate. The statistics bear this out, most stranger rapists start out with indecent exposure.

I was in Victoria station in London when an elderly man wearing a very short gingham dress & a gas mask strolled through

dress up anyway you like in private but keep your kinks & fetishes at home

It's likely to escalate? That's ridiculous. Not every cross dresser, transvestite etc will escalate anything at all what statistics are you quoting that makes every bloke in a skirt likely to be a rapist.

Stop moving the goalposts.

Men need to stop acting out their kinks in public. Bystanders don't consent, and there may be children around. Its not rocket science.

I hate that flaunting, like they're daring us to challenge them or say something.
It's very off-putting at the least and threatening at its worst.
Sure you have a right to do whatever you like, but respect our right to privacy and to feel safe in public.
As an older feminist who fought for all the rights younger women can now regard as normal, I feel really sad ,it has come to this.

Exhibitionism in men, which would include wearing a short skirt that revealed his tackle in frilly knickers when the wind blew, is likely to escalate. It’s flashing. Maybe all flashers don’t go on to more serious sexual crimes, but most stranger rapists started out by flashing. This is why women and children feel uncomfortable- they know they have good reason to. If a man isn’t able to contain himself like that, he presents a danger.

That's wasn't the claim by the pp and she had stats to prove it

Yes it is exhibitionism the same as when a female wears a shirt skirt and low cut dress. Of course it's dressing for attention

His wife's public humiliation is also part of the fetish.

He is probably emboldened by CPS recent guidance on how married trans identified males are the victims.

I think it's fair to say that whilst not all flashers are rapists (yet), all rapists are flashers. There is definitely a link between the two behaviours. Insisting that there's no difference between male and female sexuality is naive.

Yes. Whenever there has been someone hissing at me from the shadows to get my attention, whilst masturbating, they have all had being male in common.

She may be stuck in a bind, with people telling her to 'be kind', esp TRAs. And making her feel awful is part of his erotic fantasy.

making her feel awful is part of his erotic fantasy

Yes it probably escalated from him doing it alone to needing her to witness it for an extra hit, then when that wasn’t enough, he needed the public to witness it for an extra hit, then when that wasn’t enough he needed his wife to witness the public witnessing him while the public witness his wife witnessing him for an even bigger hit. Self-absorbed and no self-containment.