I guess this should be an AIBU to be angry

[Worldgonecrazy]

Yesterday early afternoon, walking down the local High Street in a small market town on the south coast. About 15ft ahead of me I immediately spotted a man, walking with, I presume, his wife. The man had longish grey curly hair, was carrying a small handbag in the crook of his arm and wearing a very, very short white pleated skirt made of a flimsy material. It was a very windy day, so every few seconds the man’s skirt would lift in the wind to reveal his pink lacy underwear. He knew what he was wearing and knew what he was doing, allowing his fetish to take place in front of unwilling and unwitting participants, including children. No doubt he went home and wanked himself stupid afterwards.

I am so angry that if I had called him out for the autogynephillic pervert he was, I am the one who would be castigated as a bigot. And as for how wife, facilitating and supporting this utter bullshit! I am so angry that these men are allowed to get away with these behaviours. I guess most normal men would just point and laugh and not think too deeply about it.

I feel completely impotent and annoyed that i didn’t say anything.

sorry - just needed a rant!

So you feel the need to call out women who wear short skirts and can see their knickers if its raining?

I have never seen this. I have seen women with their skirts tucked in their pants or trying to calm down a skirt in a breeze but when this happens women are usually mortified and often humiliated. It is not a fetish, we are not flaunting it and we are mostly terrified of the kinds of negative male, attention this will provoke.

I once caught the end of a burlesque dance class while waiting for a lesson and realised one of the participants was a trans woman.

The class wasn't advertised as female only and they weren't wearing anything particularly revealing but it still felt weird to see a male moving in that way. I didn't really feel "disgusted" - more the feeling you get when a couple are being a bit over the top with the PDAs!!

Tedious people with their tedious attention seeking.

It'll come full circle, they'll be a time when the complicit wives reframe their experience as coerced control.

We just need to hear transwidows voices.

I walked past a young trans guy who was in a band. He was wearing a teeny tiny crop top and teeny tiny mini skirt, v fetishy, the other Band members - also men were just wearing shirt and jeans.

I sometimes wonder what planet we are on where others can't see the bleeding obvious.

Creep af.

And nothing like being a woman- we try to keep our skirts down in the wind! In fact, I wanted to wear a new skirt the other day, but it was windy, so I decided against it 🤷🏼‍♀️

So how do we diminish their power and AGP experience?
Ignore?
Laugh?
Look disgusted?

Not the ducking same by a long margin and you know it.

I was going to ask if anyone laughed at him.

Unfortunately, the humiliation component means that laughing and pointing or expressing disgust could add to the turn on for him, any expression of shock or fear would feed into a power trip turn on, as would any ‘polite’ pretending-not-to-notice self-repression, and any expression of anger or disapproval could feed into his dominatrix fantasy.

The only thing for it is to convincingly act like you haven’t even seen and aren’t in any way cowed. If he can see through your pretence he’ll still get a kick out of it.

Bored disgust and impatience is how I feel, but do you really need to overthink it to this extent? You know that annoying person who positions themselves in the supermarket in front of the shelf with their limp trailing dp so you can’t get to the item you need when you’re in a hurry? Treat it the same.

@ZairWazAnOldLady
Like someone annoying you in a supermarket? Seriously?

Ignoring him would likely lead to him believing he passes.
Showing disgust would only have him believe that it was out of jealousy.
I would laugh, loudly.

I honestly cannot believe that perverted joke figures like this man are lumped under the same ‘trans umbrella’ as vulnerable young women (often gay, often neuro-divergent), scared of their burgeoning sexuality and the accompanying attention that brings from men, such that they mutilate themselves and remove (secondary) sexual organs.

They could not be more different - their motivations are the exact opposite from each other.

The latter I have every sympathy for. The former, I detest.

Yes @pues “seriously”. Which bit of my emotional response are you seeking to “correct”?

🤡

After a very horrible experience, I now always wear shorts or tights under skirts. Always.

Surely everyone has to stick to a dress code? This bloke should be called out for that.

Yes, Grayson Perry has actually said that the humiliation is part of the turn on.

Women who dress like this don’t scare me.

Men who dress like this very much do.

Yes I really believe the best reaction is to pretend you haven't even noticed. Part of this fetishism is the thrill of the attention they receive. Best to ignore.

Hard to know if it’s a fetish or a personality affect/ mental health issue

Didn't Atwood say that men are most afraid that people will laugh at them?

Only if they aren’t in control.

Meanwhile, if a woman gets out and about while flashing her knickers and knockers, she is either arrested or humiliated for offending the eyeballs of the vulnerable menz and their angry wives.

Surely the words “Jesus, that’s a tiny one,”spoken without context while within hearing distance, were invented for this purpose?