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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Colleague discussing the "benefits" of FGM 🤢

149 replies

Feefee00 · 20/02/2023 09:28

A colleague has recently moved from a country in Africa. He was telling another colleague about the benefits of FGM. He was complaining how it's getting banned everywhere when it prevents women being unfaithful, getting raped while their husbands are away. He also said when women wear trousers it can rub on the clit causing excitement. I got really upset about the conversation and said the thought of someone holding their daughter down and inflicting that on her is barbaric. I then walked away I can't believe people believe this in 2023 and we have people in this country who believe in it. I want to report him but I'm scared of being called racist.

Has anyone dealt with this kind of thing? Or what the procedure is ?

OP posts:
GiantPandaAttacks · 20/02/2023 09:32

You need to report him to the police (prevent, maybe?). Race doesn’t come into it. Vile man.

DarkForces · 20/02/2023 09:35

I'd be suggesting that if men want to prevent rape and infidelity, maybe we should be cutting their penises off.

3peassuit · 20/02/2023 09:35

Does he have daughters? I would be worried for their safety.

Whataretheodds · 20/02/2023 09:35

Report him. He's advocating for a crime. And the topic is totally inappropriate for the workplace, probably counts as sexual harrassment. Your employer should be seeking to deal with this swiftly and decisively to avoid risking an employement tribunal against them.

BertHandsome · 20/02/2023 09:36

DarkForces · 20/02/2023 09:35

I'd be suggesting that if men want to prevent rape and infidelity, maybe we should be cutting their penises off.

Yup.

Speak to the FGM helpline OP. I have absolutely no experience with them but hopefully they’ll be able to provide you with assistance.

twitterexile · 20/02/2023 09:37

REPORT. Whatever his horrible thoughts on this are, they are certainly not acceptable in the workplace. It is not racist to report this.

CryptoFascistMadameCholet · 20/02/2023 09:37

www.victimsupport.org.uk/you-co/types-crime/child-abuse/female-genital-mutilation-fgm/

I hope he doesn’t have any daughters

NameOchangeO1 · 20/02/2023 09:38

Wow. I'd report to HR for a start. He needs to be told in no uncertain terms that talking about child abuse at work is not ok.

Original poster
Feefee00 · 20/02/2023 09:39

3peassuit · 20/02/2023 09:35

Does he have daughters? I would be worried for their safety.

He does have one but then said he wouldn't have it done on her. Whether I believe it hmm, I don't know if the daughter lives here, I think I will report to our onsite social worker I did tell him it's a crime here.

OP posts:
twitterexile · 20/02/2023 09:40

NameOchangeO1 · 20/02/2023 09:38

Wow. I'd report to HR for a start. He needs to be told in no uncertain terms that talking about child abuse at work is not ok.

This.

RainbowZebraWarrior · 20/02/2023 09:41

I'd also report him.

Did he use the words for FGM? Knowing what the last letter stands for? And what that means? It's horrific and barbaric and has no place in this world.

Also, it ain't ever gonna stop women being raped. Just another vile misogynist excuse for the reason to do it.

SomePosters · 20/02/2023 09:41

Please do follow that up, especially if you know he has daughters.

How completely normal must he find it to think it’s acceptable to air those views at work?!?

Newnamenewme23 · 20/02/2023 09:41

Report him.

to the police, to social services, to make sure any female relatives aren’t at risk.

also report him to work. I would inform them if he says one more word in your hearing there is going to be a “discussion” and you will call the police if he doesn’t treat you with the utmost respect.

hr can probably at the very least produce some general “training” materials and visible anti fgm posters.

I agree speak to the helpline too- see if they can provide some input into your workplace.

caringcarer · 20/02/2023 09:48

DarkForces · 20/02/2023 09:35

I'd be suggesting that if men want to prevent rape and infidelity, maybe we should be cutting their penises off.

Absolutely this.

ArrrMeHearties · 20/02/2023 09:51

Wtaf?! He needs to be reported to the police and if there are any girls in his family kept well away from them. How anyone can think fgm is acceptable is barbaric

Useruser1 · 20/02/2023 09:54

Report ==> deport

These views have no place in the UK. awful

HotDogsJumpingFrogsILoveTurkey · 20/02/2023 09:58

His daughter is at risk. There is no way he'd be so open about "the benefits" at work and then not inflict that on his daughter.

Report to HR and the police.

You are not being racist.

Lwrenagain · 20/02/2023 10:03

This is one of the most terrifying things I've ever read on here.
I'm sorry OP you have the weight of this, I also understand you're fearful of seeming racist. But this isn't a culture clash, it's a crime, a gruesome, despicable crime 💔

Xiaoxiong · 20/02/2023 10:03

You work somewhere with an onsite social worker, and he is willing to share these views with colleagues??! I think you have a duty to report, under your own safeguarding obligations.

CryptoFascistMadameCholet · 20/02/2023 10:03

Hibo Wardere has founded an org called Educate Not Mutiliate - she’s London based and might be a good person to speak to to find the best route to reporting?

linktr.ee/educatenotmutilate

Hibo is fantastic on Twitter

twitter.com/hibowardere

www.simonandschuster.co.uk/books/Cut-One-Womans-Fight-Against-FGM-in-Britain-Today/Hibo-Wardere/9781471153983

Mariposa26 · 20/02/2023 10:04

This is terrifying. Please report this as others have said. The comment about women wearing trousers and getting excited is also a huge red flag and disgusting.

CryptoFascistMadameCholet · 20/02/2023 10:04

Argh. Apparently Hibo Wardere’s anti FGM
org gets stuck in the auto mod net 😬

AllWorkYoPlait · 20/02/2023 10:09

I'd speak to HR. What sort of job is this person doing? It's not a conversation I can imagine having at work (from his perspective) - especially as a relatively new employee Confused

Maybe he's being purposefully inflammatory. Was the other colleague a woman? Is other colleague equally horrified?

ancientgran · 20/02/2023 10:10

DarkForces · 20/02/2023 09:35

I'd be suggesting that if men want to prevent rape and infidelity, maybe we should be cutting their penises off.

It's one man not men.

I heard a very moving woman on radio 4, I think she'd been the first lady of Somaliland, came to the UK and became a midwife and went back to Somaliland and opened a hospital for women. She had been the victim of FGM and she told how her mother and grandmother arranged for it to be done while her father was away and how upset he was when he found out.

The man who the OP is talking about should be reported, his views are abhorrent but he isn't speaking for men, he is speaking for himself. The first lady of Somaliland's mother wasn't speaking for me as a woman.

Helleofabore · 20/02/2023 10:11

DarkForces · 20/02/2023 09:35

I'd be suggesting that if men want to prevent rape and infidelity, maybe we should be cutting their penises off.

Wouldn’t that be an interesting solution!

Just imagine if it was suggested that no penis was needed anymore and all women just used the sperm from the testes so all penises removed at birth to stop rape.

sadly I still don’t think that those men who support and force female genital mutilation would see the significance.