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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Colleague discussing the "benefits" of FGM 🤢

149 replies

Feefee00 · 20/02/2023 09:28

A colleague has recently moved from a country in Africa. He was telling another colleague about the benefits of FGM. He was complaining how it's getting banned everywhere when it prevents women being unfaithful, getting raped while their husbands are away. He also said when women wear trousers it can rub on the clit causing excitement. I got really upset about the conversation and said the thought of someone holding their daughter down and inflicting that on her is barbaric. I then walked away I can't believe people believe this in 2023 and we have people in this country who believe in it. I want to report him but I'm scared of being called racist.

Has anyone dealt with this kind of thing? Or what the procedure is ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Feefee00 · 20/02/2023 10:14

I think I will report to the social worker it's an independent hospital male only MH so no patients are immediately at risk. I don't think he has moved his daughter here from what he said but it needs looking into asap if she does live here she will need protection.

OP posts:
soddingspiderseason · 20/02/2023 10:15

This man is advocating VAWG towards female children. This is serious and you need to report this to HR and ask them about whether this needs further action. It's not a cultural/race issue, it's about safeguarding.

SwordToFlamethrower · 20/02/2023 10:17

Report him, he is a serious misogynist.

ItchyBillco · 20/02/2023 10:17

He needs reporting to HR and the police. He sounds a danger to women and girls.

ancientgran · 20/02/2023 10:18

DarkForces · 20/02/2023 09:35

I'd be suggesting that if men want to prevent rape and infidelity, maybe we should be cutting their penises off.

I hope you don't have sons.

Comedycook · 20/02/2023 10:19

I'd report to HR, the police and social services. If I knew what school his children went to, I'd report to the school too.

TallulahBetty · 20/02/2023 10:20

HR, police and SS.

Just out of interest, did he use the term 'FGM'? Or the very horrible 'female circumcision'? Or something else?

RedToothBrush · 20/02/2023 10:21

Feefee00 · 20/02/2023 09:39

He does have one but then said he wouldn't have it done on her. Whether I believe it hmm, I don't know if the daughter lives here, I think I will report to our onsite social worker I did tell him it's a crime here.

Show quote history

Why would he advocate the benefits to this degree and then say he wouldn't to his daughter?

He absolutely would if it was legal and saying it and being this open whilst knowing it's illegal gives cause for doubt.

Inform the authorities she is potentially at risk. Cos she is.

WetBandits · 20/02/2023 10:22

Fuck me, I’d absolutely report him to HR and quite possibly the police if you think any female children he has some degree of responsibility for in the UK may be at risk!

The fact that he works in healthcare is chilling.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 20/02/2023 10:24

Fucking hell a NAMALT’r on FWR, is nowhere safe.

Anyway OP as per PP, I simply don’t believe after saying all of that, that he wouldn’t do it to his daughter. Hope you get help from the SW.

DidyouNO · 20/02/2023 10:25

I've just done an FGM recognition and awareness course within my fostering and I have to say from what I've read, as a safeguarding matter you absolutely do need to report this. How awful for you. I cannot believe this is how some people have been raised to think.

yodaforpresident · 20/02/2023 10:28

Report him to police, social services and HR. What a bastard.

Seasonofthewitch83 · 20/02/2023 10:29

SIIIIING like a canary to HR, please.

WarriorNun · 20/02/2023 10:29

Police, immediately.

WarriorNun · 20/02/2023 10:30

I think I will report to our onsite social worker I did tell him it's a crime here.

No, if teachers suspect a case of fgm we have to call the police directly and immediately ourselves. I know this is slightly different but I would do so.

Original poster
Feefee00 · 20/02/2023 10:31

I've just rang work SW isn't in so I reported it to the safeguarding lead. I said I know there are cultural sensitivities but it is illegal here and there was mention of a daughter.

OP posts:
WarriorNun · 20/02/2023 10:32

Good, I still think you should call the police immediately

WarriorNun · 20/02/2023 10:34

There isnt evidence of FGM occurring now however:

Please note

If you are a regulated professional, such as a health worker, social worker or teacher, you are required by law to report any ‘known’ cases of FGM directly to the police via our non-emergency number 1011_. If you have a hearing or speech impairment, use our textphone service on 18001 101.
‘Known’ means that you have either visually identified that FGM has been carried out, or you have had direct verbal disclosure from the child affected.
Other ways to report FGM
If you'd prefer to speak to someone else before reporting it to the police, you can contact:
• the national FGM helpline on 0800 028 35500_.
• the NSPCCC_ to speak to a professional practitioner
• the children's social care team at your local councill_
• Crimestopperss_ confidentially and anonymously

Original poster
Feefee00 · 20/02/2023 10:39

WarriorNun · 20/02/2023 10:32

Good, I still think you should call the police immediately

Many times they don't bring the children over here , the flow chart thing online says I must have seen evidence of FGM or verbal disclosure or think a child is immediately at risk. I don't have much experience of this so I think it's best I hand over to the safeguarding lead.

OP posts:
LiverBurd · 20/02/2023 10:43

Please report to HR also. I work in HR - in my workplace these comments would be taken very seriously and disciplinary action would be taken.

Twoshoesnewshoes · 20/02/2023 10:46

OP I’m so sorry you’ve been thrown into this awful situation, it sounds really stressful 💐
but please do call the police non emergency and let them know. Then job done and you can have a cuppa

Mammajay · 20/02/2023 10:50

Are you saying he works with male mental health patients? Or what is his role in your workplace?

WarriorNun · 20/02/2023 10:59

I'd still inform someone outside your organisation. The helpline may be helpful.

PaigeMatthews · 20/02/2023 11:02

Scared of being racist? It is an illegal barbaric dangerous sexist practice. Report to HR. And to the police if he has children.

I'd be suggesting that if men want to prevent rape and infidelity, maybe we should be cutting their penises off.
absofuckinlutely.