Colleague discussing the "benefits" of FGM 🤢

[Feefee00]

A colleague has recently moved from a country in Africa. He was telling another colleague about the benefits of FGM. He was complaining how it's getting banned everywhere when it prevents women being unfaithful, getting raped while their husbands are away. He also said when women wear trousers it can rub on the clit causing excitement. I got really upset about the conversation and said the thought of someone holding their daughter down and inflicting that on her is barbaric. I then walked away I can't believe people believe this in 2023 and we have people in this country who believe in it. I want to report him but I'm scared of being called racist.

Has anyone dealt with this kind of thing? Or what the procedure is ?

Lieslotte he hasn’t said he was going to do it though. He just said he agreed with it, as do most people do from his country of origin.

He is endorsing something which is illegal. You need to speak to HR at least, for the misogyny and hate speech against women if nothing else.

Sounds like he bought his healthcare certificate on Ebay if he's advocating juju and FGM. I hope he gets sacked for promoting those vile backward views.

He'd have to be really fucking stupid to commit to planning a crime at work.
I mean obviously he's fairly fucking stupid anyway, but that would be another level.

I wonder if any of Wayne Cousins colleagues didn't report inappropriate talk because he hadn't said 'he was going to do it'? The fact he was colloquially known as the rapist makes me think he might have let slip some inappropriate views.
Those colleagues are responsible for a crime because they failed in their safeguarding duties.
If op didn't report and then a crime did take place fgm of this man's daughter, for example, then she would be responsible for that too.

The rationalisations that have been given for FGM vary, as do those for foot-binding, but it's clear that they benefit/ed men directly (an asexual wife is less likely to be unfaithful, supposedly there are some sexual benefits for men, too), and women only in the indirect sense that they were more likely to be viewed as marriageable if they were properly altered.

@nepeta supposedly there are some sexual benefits for men, too err like what?

I’ve spent time with people from Sudan/Somalia. There is a widespread belief that FGM is a good/normal thing to do. It’s shocking for westerners. I don’t think it necessarily makes someone a bad person having these beliefs because for them it is a normal thing to have done. Obviously work needs to be done to eradicate the belief and practice. He said he wouldn’t do it to his daughter and well that is progress.

I would report him OP

That can still be harassment/victimisation and inappropriate behaviour at work though.

In the same way that it would be inappropriate and racial harassment/victimisation to say that you agreed with the KKK lynching black people in front of people of colour in the workplace.

It can also be evidence of planning or commissioning a crime and as such it should be reported to the police in the way that you should report it if you heard someone say that they thought the 7/7 bombers had a point and were right to do that and you were aware that person had access to explosives.

He just said he agreed with it, as do most people do from his country of origin.

It sounds more like he was strongly advocating for it and making very strange judgemental statements about women who he thinks get aroused wearing trousers, hence why he believes in FGM. Some of his views sound like something a potential rapist would say. He works in healthcare and is sharing these views publicly. He needs some training as a minimum.

Yes but if I said to him oh we should scrape mens penises so they should never be able to orgasm that's ok. I'm a female I was offended I have never been aroused wearing trousers and the man thinks we should all have our clits cut off to stop us having enjoyable sex. It's barbaric and no we don't do it here there are no health benefits and I don't want to hear about it.

One of the reasons cited for removal of the clitoris is that it will grow into a micro penis if left in situ. Nonsense, of course, but you can see why this man would think an uncut woman in trousers would be in a state of arousal. He's probably transferring his own experiences onto women, which shows how little he knows.

I'm also at a loss to know how FGM prevents rape in a husband's absence. If he manages coitus why couldn't another man?

Do men also get excited when their bits rub against their trousers ?

Abhorrent it may be, but I’m not sure exactly what you are going to report or to who? He hasn’t committed a crime has he? If he had daughters with him then yes you could report to social services. But it’s no one’s job to stop him holding those views.

There was a documentary once about it and they were interviewing women (possibly in Eritrea) where it was common. It seemed like there were superstitions attached to the clitoris, was woman was saying how bad it was for the woman to have a clitoral hood as it could envelop the earth and everyone would die. Despite the trauma they had all been tjfrough getting theirs done, they all thought it would have disastrous consequences not having their daughters done.
A friend of mine is a midwife in a fairly white area, so not used to much diversity. A labouring woman arrived and she seemed in advanced labour and when she went to examine her realized that she had had the type 3 where everything had been cut up and stitched. There was literally nowhere for the baby to come out safely, her 'vagina' was a small hole with a mass of scar tissue and adhesions. Even the consultant didn't know what to do and had to phone a hospital in London for advice. She basically had to have surgery under a spinal to allow the baby to be born, and they had no choice but to completely restitch her up afterwards.

I don't want to hear about it at work, I reported him to the manager and safeguarding. it's not a debate there's no health benefits to FGM and we work in healthcare. He should go on a training course or not work in healthcare.

@Feefee00 sorry I missed healthcare setting, yes good to report and see what they say

I watched a documentary about it years ago and the young men they interviewed said they would prefer a wife who enjoyed sex but they weren't given the choice as girls in their community wouldn't be considered suitable wife material if uncut. It was along time ago and I wonder how those young men felt if they went on to have daughters.

A doctor was prosecuted, albeit unsuccessfully, for doing just that. www.theguardian.com/society/2015/feb/04/doctor-not-guilty-fgm-dhanuson-dharmasena

OP, you absolutely need to report this. Alongside all the safeguardign risks that other posters have identified, I would be concerned about his attitude to female patients and colleagues given that he appears to believe that women's unfaithfuless is responsible if they are raped. That is a seriously not good attitude for anyone in healthcare to have.

Find him again,OP, and tell him husbands wouldn’t have to worry about the other men when they are away if the lot of them all had MGM.

How outrageous of him.

Imagine saying that about the trousers too.

Take these with a big pinch of salt, but I read that the bound feet cause women to walk in a way which strengthens the muscles in the pelvic floor and the most extreme type of FGM surgery causes the vagina entry to be very narrow even after the woman is no longer a virgin.

I have no idea if these things are true, though the latter was mentioned by a Sudanese friend, a man who was very strongly opposed to FGM as something he had also been told.

As I read somewhere, The bound feet end up creating a "tube" of the folded over toes and the sole of the foot which can then be penetrated by a man. Think of a curled up hand around a penis, but a foot not a hand, 😡🤮🤬

All of you saying he hasn't committed a crime - you don't need to wait til a crime is committed to report a safeguarding issue ff. By that time, it is TOO LATE.

My only problem was with reporting to authorities an in general the catastrophising of what is in essence a thought crime. While what that man said is utterly vile, he wasn't actually doing anything wrong.

FGM is illegal and an appalling lifelong abuse of young girls. In this country performing, permitting or arranging FGM, including taking children to another country to have FMG performed is illegal. Children can be brought back to the U.K. under legal order if it can be shown there’s an intention to have FGM carried out while they are out of the country.

This man has a child, it’s not known if she is in the U.K. but if she is there are legal protections available to her. It’s entirely right to report as a safeguarding concern so services can assess the risk appropriately. OP if you’re still concerned you can report to the police, you know is name and where he works so the police will be able to trace him and establish whether there’s criminality there - which there may be if he has a daughter.