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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

What does living as a woman actually mean?

192 replies

astrowars · 21/12/2022 21:39

So if the Scottish parliament votes for the new law, and someone can obtain a certificate stating they're a woman because they have lived as one for 3 months ... is there a definition, description or checklist to ensure the individual has done everything needed? I have a horrid feeling I may now not be a woman under such a definition!

OP posts:
Fififafa · 22/12/2022 10:58

Janie143 · 22/12/2022 08:58

Well when this Bill is passed women, as they once were, will be erased. Everything will effectively be mixed sex no matter how it is labelled.

You’ve hit the nail on the head. All single sex spaces will immediately become mixed sex as a result, Rape Crisis Centres included. How depressing for the real women of Scotland. Glad the UK government is not going down this route, at least not the present one.

Hollyhocky · 22/12/2022 10:58

I wish I could 'like' these messages. I'd spend all day 'liking' the majority of the feminist board. This is where the sense is, the wit and the intelligence.
I love your story, @BlessedKali

Par91 · 22/12/2022 11:00

musicalfrog · 22/12/2022 00:33

How about just being yourself in the body you've got? You're either a man or a woman, even if it's the 'wrong' body it's still the same one after you've tinkered with it.

If black face isn't allowed then woman face shouldn't be either. We've been oppressed by men forever, now our oppressors want to have fun with our image? No thanks very much!

@musicalfrog this is an excellent point

ethelredonagoodday · 22/12/2022 11:01

Probablymagrat · 21/12/2022 21:55

Whatever it is, and I have no idea, I bet it wont include earning 30% less, doing most of the housework, child care, sending all the christmas and birthday cards and buying all the sodding presents.

Yep this. I love my DH and he does a lot, but there are still certain jobs that seem to fall automatically to me. Maybe that's what it's all about. Maybe "have you seen your career take a nosedive" and "do you organise your family's Christmas single-handedly" should be one questions on the 'checklist'... 🙄🙄

aweegc · 22/12/2022 11:04

Probablymagrat · 21/12/2022 21:55

Whatever it is, and I have no idea, I bet it wont include earning 30% less, doing most of the housework, child care, sending all the christmas and birthday cards and buying all the sodding presents.

This.

SandyThumb · 22/12/2022 11:16

What if I'm a man called Alex who wants to become a TW called Alex?
Do I have to change my name to Alexis or something to prove I've become a woman? 🤔

NeighbourhoodWatchPotholeDivision · 22/12/2022 11:25

SandyThumb · 22/12/2022 11:16

What if I'm a man called Alex who wants to become a TW called Alex?
Do I have to change my name to Alexis or something to prove I've become a woman? 🤔

Nope. You can even keep your beard. See Alex, who describes self as a lesbian, and works for Stonewall UK. Alex even tours schools, giving talks about being a lesbian.

Wales Online

What does living as a woman actually mean?
CriticalCondition · 22/12/2022 11:30

Is it being talked over at meetings, not being listened to, and having your ideas stolen by male colleagues and presented as their own?

Thought not.

RubyTrees · 22/12/2022 11:39

We just are women, so any way we live is living as a woman.

@FlirtsWithRhinos, perfectly put!

ItsGotMe · 22/12/2022 11:41

There is no way to answer this without it being ridiculous so I'm going to have a try.

I reckon you'll need to provide the following type of evidence:

(All the following receipts should be dated within the last three months)

Receipt from nailbar for set of gels
Receipt from a 'Ladies' hairdresser for cut, colour and blow-dry
Receipt from Eyebrow bar for eyebrow threading/shaping
Receipt from Boots/Superdrug for products such as strawberry & vanilla bubble bath, glittery bath bomb, nail varnish, make-up, tissues (for all the crying you'll do)
Receipt from Claire's Accessories for headbands, bangles, earrings, lipgloss
Proof of ownership or borrowing of any Maeve Binchy, Sophie Kinsella or other 'female' books from an 'approved' list
Proof of multiple purchases of lingerie, M&S knickers, stockings, high-heeled footwear and foundation garments
Birthday/Christmas cards addressed to your new female name by verifiable acquaintances

Not an exhaustive list as I'm sure there are other things that can prove 'womanly' credentials for 'living as a woman'.

For trans men:
Ownership of a dicky bow/tie and/or braces, plaid shirt, Lynx
Evidence of ability to man-spread and perfect a quizzical/concentrating serious face while rubbing your chin.
Receipt for the ownership of weights and/or membership of a gym
Receipt for boxer shorts, men's socks
Receipt for the purchase of hair trimmer for buzz cuts or receipt from local barber

Honestly - what is this evidence going to be?? It surely can't just be down to changing the name on a gas bill? Who is going to review this evidence in a way that won't 'traumatise' a prospective applicant. Admin, as we know, is a terrible obstacle.

VerveClique · 22/12/2022 11:50

‘Woman’ is what I am, not what I do.

We need to be careful, if not possessive, of our verbs and nouns, never mind our pronouns.

What can’t be described, can’t be protected.

Language matters. Women and girls’ rights matter.

Fairy22 · 22/12/2022 11:52

They only need to look at Mrs Doubtfire and Tootsie to know exactly what to do

I for one can't wait to see one in my gym changing room

Swashbuckled · 22/12/2022 12:27

Fairy22 · 22/12/2022 11:52

They only need to look at Mrs Doubtfire and Tootsie to know exactly what to do

I for one can't wait to see one in my gym changing room

What will you do?

TheBiologyStupid · 22/12/2022 12:28

It’s simply not how identification works. Identification is as much, if not almost entirely, about how other people identify you. How society at large perceives you in relation to a set of (often problematic) categories.

Indeed! I believe Scotland's national poet had something to say about seeing ourselves as others see us. But that was then, of course...

IReallyLikeCrows · 22/12/2022 13:43

I was at a party the other week where a game was played; five people given a story to tell, for one it's the truth,the other four are lying and trying to get you to believe it. One story referenced some mild teenage burglary. One of the people telling this story is trans. As I'm being told her story we sort of get to the end and she says,"I guess it was my inner girl coming out." I'm not a bastard so obviously I didn't contradict the statement but WHAT?! In what world is a girl's adolescent rite of passage doing burglary?!

So, to some people it's clear that living as a woman means anything they want it to because instead of redefining what it's like to live as a man and changing patriarchal bullshit, they want to take over womanhood.

MisgenderedPaul · 22/12/2022 13:53

Well, the women in Afghanistan can specify what it is like to live as a woman quite clearly. Perhaps 3 months living there would help the transition?

QueueEtwo · 22/12/2022 13:59

This is being discussed by Shelagh Fogarty on LBC at the moment, she's handling it brilliantly!

GameBoy · 22/12/2022 14:04

If it isn’t already, these examples need to be a thread on Twitter! It’s this sort of ridiculousness which sheds sunlight and peaks people…

tootiredtobother · 22/12/2022 14:07

I came on to say toilet seat hovering too, which will become an absolute life skill when all loos are bloody UNISEX ffs

otherwise its the XX obvs

Reallyatthelimit · 22/12/2022 14:08

It means your a man.

Reallyatthelimit · 22/12/2022 14:08

You’re not your!

TaraRhu · 22/12/2022 14:43

Short skirts, high heels, make up, shave legs, like pink, moan about men, nice nails..., could buy period products? That's about it isn't it? Change your name, done. You are a woman! Hurrah!

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 22/12/2022 15:00

MangyInseam · 21/12/2022 23:15

Practically I think it means presenting yourself with the basic language markers we use for women. So publicly using a name that is female, forms of address like Miss or Mrs, and female associated pronouns. Usually also more feminine clothing etc.

Of course if you dig down into this at all these are very superficial things. They are the accidents of womanhood, not the essence of it. They are, though, I suppose, the kinds of things you'd do if you were disguising yourself as a woman to escape the draft, or some other reason.

The problem with that, though, is that people find it very difficult not to see other people as the the sex they are , and to use the ‘ correct’ - or really incorrect -pronouns or forms of address. Hence misgendering ( soon to be a crime punishable by imprisonment, I believe).
The huge hands, the Adam’s apples and quite often now, the beard just gets in the way of the correct address.

VioletLemon · 22/12/2022 15:07

Seems to be, hanging out in women's toilets brandishing a stash of sanitary ware to 'offer' up....... Obviously bunches, fluffy socks, giggles, spinny skirt.

If you don't have an Adams apple you're not a real woman though....

VioletLemon · 22/12/2022 15:09

No, you wouldn't get accepted I'm afraid.
Do you have fluffy bunny ears, testicles and a tutu?

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