I am embracing virtue signalling pronouns in emails

[MsFogi]

I have realised I have made too many assumptions about gender over the years. I had always assumed that Paul (name changed of course) in my company was a man simply on the basis of his appearance (well over 6 foot, well built, big beard, low voice that only someone with an Adam's apple and whose balls have dropped could have). Imagine my relief to find that I have not been misgendering him for over a decade because he has helpfully added his pronouns to his email auto signature - they are he/him/his. There is no company diktat to add pronouns on emails so clearly this is important to Paul or maybe he has been misgendered recently.

So, I thought I would ensure that Paul was not offended on a Teams meeting this afternoon and kicked off the meeting by asking everyone to note that Paul's pronouns are he/him/his and that given that he has stated these that everyone please be sensitive to ensuring that they use them. No one said anything so I think they all took it on board, no one misgendered Paul and I like to think that his move to include his pronouns at work has been embraced in my meeting. Maybe as a result others that attended the meeting will add theirs to their auto signatures too.

Tee hee

Oh dearie me 😂

Lol. I also work with a 6ft+ Paul, he is also he/him. The appropriateness of a middle-aged man feeling he needs to remind people of this on every email actually makes me smile every time I see him.

Haha! Well played! 😃

Excellent. I'm sure Paul feels really well supported, keep up the good work!

Outwoke the woke!
Tis the only way sometimes.

Is it dignified for a 50yo woman to smirk and snort like a teenager?

😁

Not in my meetings - going forward I am going to expect everyone to sit in dignified silence (possibly nodding if they like) while I solemnly run through any new pronouns that I have picked up from email auto-signatures at the beginning of every single meeting.

Oh lol OP you're totes hilair! You will be the hero of the workplace! Songs will be sung about your incredible wit! Did everybody in the meeting applaud? Did the CEO immediately promote you to Head of Being Hilarious?

You must be so proud!

I mean I’m not a fan of pronoun talk but presumably he put it in his email because he may at times email people who do not know he is a 6ft well built man with a deep voice. I have a contact at uni who has a name that could be either way (like Alex) and actually the pronouns were helpful in that case as I knew who to expect.

😂

Plus I think if you’re a manager or senior staff you’ve behaved a bit unprofessionally by deliberately embarrassing your staff. If you don’t want pronouns using or it’s against company policy then you need to address it appropriately with ‘please do not include anything other than appropriate company email signature’ not point someone out and try to be funny by embarrassing them when for all you know they’re just trying to keep up/follow what they think needs to be done.

For the avoidance of doubt - I was very professional, there was nothing 'funny'/'hilarious' in the way I introduced Paul's pronouns. I don't see what is deliberately embarrassing - if people put pronouns in then I take it they want them to be used/not to be misgendered. There is no company policy on email signatures so he can put them in or not as he pleases.

Sorry, I don’t understand why acknowledging someone’s pronouns would be hilarious. Can you explain?

It's not a great idea for women to point out their sex, whether by means of email or any other method, as they get treated worse than their male colleagues as a result. www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/man-swaps-email-signatures-with-female-colleague-and-is-disheartened-by-way-he-is-treated/R7G4UZBFAKNHBJECY32OAA5ACA/ One of the many reasons I would have refused to put pronouns in my email signature if I'd ever been asked to do it in my working life.

the posters who are outraged, why? Clearly Paul wishes his pronouns to be known, it’s important to him and OP has merely pointed this out to prevent him being inadvertently mis-pronouned.

everyone in the meeting may not have received email correspondence from Paul and could therefore potentially describe him by the wrong pronoun. It’s clearly important to Paul that his pronouns be correct.

Why are some posters upset about this? Who would be transphobic enough to think you can assume someone's pronouns in 2022? I literally can't tell what someone's gender is by looking at them. I think OP sounds like an inclusive and sensitive colleague.

Maybe this has been misunderstood, or people are being deliberately obtuse. Indicating one's pronouns in email signatures is not to ensure that one is not misgendered. For cis people with names not clearly of one gender or another it does have that advantage. What your burly chap was quite likely doing was showing his support of trans people who are more often misgendered. It normalises the practice. Good for Paul.

Please do not use the slur cis.

I had to call Barry recently. I was so grateful of the he/him on his email signature, I’d have assumed he was a woman otherwise.

Nobody is outraged? Unless I’ve missed someone.

But the reason it’s unprofessional is because op knows this is someone who is clearly male, but has gone along with a silly trend (likely because he thinks it makes him appear PC/he is trying not to offend people). It obviously goes against her personal beliefs - which I can understand - so she has made a point of making him look silly in front of a group by pointing out the obvious, that he is male. It’s not a professional attitude for a manager - a manager’s job isn’t to make people look or feel small.

How long have you known Paul?

Plus on top of that then posting it for kudos makes it clear op was not simply trying to be understanding of his pronouns.

Only if a 68 year old can join in! 😆