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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Am I non binary?

190 replies

YesClemFandango · 29/06/2021 17:05

Not a TAAT but it got me thinking.... Am I non-binary? I reject gender stereotypes. I would prefer a neutral title (working on it!). I wear clothes that could be considered typically masculine or feminine. To be honest at my age I'd feel a bit odd calling myself non-binary, but I wonder if it's short hand for how my peers understand my views (I'm a student)? How can I check?

OP posts:
CheddarGorge · 02/07/2021 01:22

I would love to be gender free but unfortunately I have a Vagina in a misogynistic world which leads to daily unfair gender stereotypes and expectations forced upon me.

NiceGerbil · 02/07/2021 02:02

Ah you are out of date.

The meaning in this context is the strongly felt internal sense of your gender.

This apparently is something the vast majority of people have.

It's got nothing to do with how you dress, what you like to do, what your sex is, stereotypes or anything like that.

Apparently it's formed and felt by 2yo.

So... Easy.

The strange thing is loads of women on MN don't have one. Previous threads on chat etc had scores of women saying that.

The good news is I've read that that simply means that you're so comfy with your gender that you don't even notice it! (Women don't know their own minds).

So relax, you're 'c*s. You don't need to worry your pretty head about it any more.

jellyfrizz · 02/07/2021 09:30

Cis and trans is so binary. Oh, you don’t identify as trans, that means you are cis. One or the other.

I am non-binary on the cis/trans binary being neither cis nor trans.

strawberrydonuts · 02/07/2021 09:41

@YesClemFandango

Not a TAAT but it got me thinking.... Am I non-binary? I reject gender stereotypes. I would prefer a neutral title (working on it!). I wear clothes that could be considered typically masculine or feminine. To be honest at my age I'd feel a bit odd calling myself non-binary, but I wonder if it's short hand for how my peers understand my views (I'm a student)? How can I check?
You can't really "check", you just decide for yourself if that's how you want to identify.

What I would say though, is that just because you don't like gender stereotypes doesn't mean you have to outright reject your gender or be non-binary.

If you think about it, saying "I'm female but I don't like pink things so I'm non-binary" could actually reinforce a female gender stereotype that women like pink.

Perhaps the best thing is to be the gender you want to be and model how to be a woman but not conform to those stereotypes, rather than say you simply don't have a gender?

I hate gender stereotypes too, but I'm still happy to be referred to as "she". I'm comfortable in my skin and being a "she", whilst a core part of who I am, doesn't say anything about me in terms of what I wear, how I behave, etc! (For the record, I don't do many stereotypically female things like dresses, high heels, make up etc.)

It's all really complicated and a bit of a minefield but I guess I'm saying that if you like to wear men's clothes that doesn't mean you aren't a woman. But if you do feel non-binary truly then that is fine as well. It's really up to you.

PaleGreenGhost · 02/07/2021 11:49

nicegerbil

Thanks to you I'm genderfuck today! I was going to accessorize my jumpsuit with some big swinging testicles but I have mislaid them so instead I've teamed a vulva with some jeans and a t-shirt.

NiceGerbil · 02/07/2021 13:27

👍

ShortBacknSides · 02/07/2021 14:08

No, you’re not non-binary. Mammals are binary sexed beings.

You are gender non-conforming. As are many many women.

strawberrydonuts · 02/07/2021 15:51

@ShortBacknSides

No, you’re not non-binary. Mammals are binary sexed beings.

You are gender non-conforming. As are many many women.

OP isn't talking about sex. They're talking about gender.
strawberrydonuts · 02/07/2021 15:54

@jellyfrizz

Cis and trans is so binary. Oh, you don’t identify as trans, that means you are cis. One or the other.

I am non-binary on the cis/trans binary being neither cis nor trans.

Well yes, because the very meaning of cis is "not trans".

It's not quite the same as a binary. It's more like saying "yes and not yes" than "yes and no" which is a true binary.

jellyfrizz · 02/07/2021 16:14

That’s pretty much exactly what binary means though.. Two choices one or the other- on or off, yes or no.

jellyfrizz · 02/07/2021 16:15

And the meaning of trans is not-cis.

Kanaloa · 02/07/2021 16:22

Why do we need a word for not-trans? Surely the omission of trans is what indicates that you aren’t.

NiceGerbil · 02/07/2021 18:11

It's a popular way of terming things.

Men and non men.
Women and non trans/ 'cis' women.

NiceGerbil · 02/07/2021 18:12

'Well yes, because the very meaning of cis is "not trans".'

That's incorrect.

Cis means that you sex and your internal sense of gender identity are aligned.

toffeebutterpopcorn · 02/07/2021 20:13

No it doesn’t - it means “flangi pangi gibberdi do goooo”

Voice0fReason · 02/07/2021 21:06

Cis means that you sex and your internal sense of gender identity are aligned
But I don't have an internal sense of gender identity. I certainly don't identify with many of the things I have heard TW say makes them feel they are women. There isn't even any explanation as to what gender identity is.

Pumperthepumper · 02/07/2021 21:11

@Voice0fReason

Cis means that you sex and your internal sense of gender identity are aligned But I don't have an internal sense of gender identity. I certainly don't identify with many of the things I have heard TW say makes them feel they are women. There isn't even any explanation as to what gender identity is.
I identify with loads of ‘women feel’ things - I love makeup, I love dresses and nice bras, nail varnish and the feeling of hairless legs. I also love gardening, books, cashew nuts and running. What I don’t love is why half of the things I love makes me a certain type of human, rather than just me.

I would love to see the idea of masculinity extended to mean ‘a man who loves dresses because they’re comfy and breezy’ rather than ‘oh, a woman then’.

NiceGerbil · 02/07/2021 21:16

My post was in response to strawberry

'Well yes, because the very meaning of cis is "not trans".'

That's not how it works.

You have to have a strongly felt internal sense of gender, and it aligns to your sex.

Many vagina people do not have this sense.

They also do not feel comfortable identifying as trans. And they are not cis.

How a person identifies is up to them. And no questions can be asked.

So no strawberry your definition is incorrect.

Funny how women with certain views get called s term they don't identify with isn't it..

NiceGerbil · 02/07/2021 21:18

Voice you don't relate to being formless?

You don't enjoy Street harrassment?

You don't see yourself as blank eyed and with an expectant a*hole?

Surely you feel aligned with taking the submissive role in sex?

Whyever not?!!!

ufucoffee · 02/07/2021 22:33

You know when you come on a thread and you read something so stupid that it makes you question if you've actually read it right. 'Vagina people' is that something.

NiceGerbil · 02/07/2021 22:40

Well it's one of many.

Ovulators
Menstruators
People with vaginas
Cervix havers
Etc etc

In the other hand.
Man. Boy.

That's even handed for sure!

KimikosNightmare · 03/07/2021 00:47

@Nellodee

Why do computer scientists get Christmas mixed up with Halloween?

Because 25 DEC = 31 OCT

I'll be on my way now....

It's taken me until now to get the joke.
MistyGreenAndBlue · 03/07/2021 02:10

As regards sex, no you aren't and neither is anyone else

As regards arbitrary gender stereotypes. You are whatever men say you are whether you like it or not

HTH

PrincessNutella · 03/07/2021 05:13

How can you check? Are you a live human? Then no. We are a sexed species.

ShortBacknSides · 03/07/2021 09:20

OP isn't talking about sex. They're talking about gender.

I do know that - it’s implicit in my response. I don’t need a daft reprimand for not knowing my stuff.

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