Am I non binary?

[YesClemFandango]

Not a TAAT but it got me thinking.... Am I non-binary? I reject gender stereotypes. I would prefer a neutral title (working on it!). I wear clothes that could be considered typically masculine or feminine. To be honest at my age I'd feel a bit odd calling myself non-binary, but I wonder if it's short hand for how my peers understand my views (I'm a student)? How can I check?

Do you have a gender identity? Do you reject the gender identity of woman and man, but still have a sense of gender identity that isn't based on those genders? If so, then yes, non-binary.

If you have no sense of gender identity and feel more non-conformist with stereotypes for women, then you're a woman who rejects societal expectations.

Nothing wrong with either.

Just imagine explaining sex and gender to say, an alien from the planet Zog where where are 1 or 100 sexes (actual no ‘feel’).

I think ‘non-binary’ is a bit like choosing a really expensive drink or meal when you expect the bill to be shared.

It only ‘works’ if not everyone does it and it annoys everyone else even if they don’t say anything.

When you're in your teens and 20s it's natural to seek out your 'tribe' of like-minded individuals to express your individuality. But I guess you always get older goths, teddy boys etc. I still have vague ideas of myself as an indie kid but don't feel the need to identify as one socially.

@Avocadowoman

I think ‘non-binary’ is a bit like choosing a really expensive drink or meal when you expect the bill to be shared.

It only ‘works’ if not everyone does it and it annoys everyone else even if they don’t say anything.

That's an excellent analogy! I'm going to remember that for when I want to annoy my teens

I'm non-binary too. There are so many different genders to choose from and whilst at first I was drawn to 'leather gender', based mainly on my ever growing collection of Radley handbags, I eventually settled with quoigender, ‘someone who is done with gender and doesn’t care much for it as a concept’ (nonbinary wiki). Surprising that I need to have a gender to not believe in gender - who knew!!!

Sounds like Schrodigender, Justme. Which I have a dim memory of being a thing.

I think some of these ideas are usefully classified as brain farts, tbh.

Sure, we are all part of the alphabet soup, personally I am NB and pan.

@Avocadowoman

I think ‘non-binary’ is a bit like choosing a really expensive drink or meal when you expect the bill to be shared.

It only ‘works’ if not everyone does it and it annoys everyone else even if they don’t say anything.

Utter genius analogy.

Well, I'm a very unique and special non-binary. Not you common lot. I identify as a king gender. Even queenie was only born into it. I have an identity of monarch.

Of course, all are bigoted towards me. This bigotry seems so accepted and widespread; even mumsnet deleted my announcement and disrespected my brave coming out as my true authentic self.

How to find out if you are non-binary:

First step - if you truthfully answer "yes" to the question "are you a woman?" then you are not non-binary.

Gender identity is not gender expression. Being gender non-confirming says nothing whatsoever about your gender identity.

Thinking "I'm a woman because I'm female, gender identity is nonsense" does not make you non-binary. If you don't believe gender identity exists, you are not non-binary, because if you were, you'd damn well know it exists.

I don't understand

How do you work out your gender identity if it isn't based on gender expression?

What you are saying is that I could be a woman (sex), who identifies as a man (gender identity) but who wears high heels, lipstick and dresses (gender expression)?

How do us oldies work out who we are in this system?

I’ve got to brush up interviews skills, always hated dread question ‘so tell me about yourself’ as always want to say what fuck you want to know -am cagey as fuck & autistic-

So now can I just answer that question with I’m non binary or any other wanky shit label this would help that awkwardness I get.

Although just hope don’t ask me to elaborate on it.

@DadJoke

How to find out if you are non-binary:

First step - if you truthfully answer "yes" to the question "are you a woman?" then you are not non-binary.

Gender identity is not gender expression. Being gender non-confirming says nothing whatsoever about your gender identity.

Thinking "I'm a woman because I'm female, gender identity is nonsense" does not make you non-binary. If you don't believe gender identity exists, you are not non-binary, because if you were, you'd damn well know it exists.

Who made you the gender police?

@DadJoke

How to find out if you are non-binary:

First step - if you truthfully answer "yes" to the question "are you a woman?" then you are not non-binary.

Gender identity is not gender expression. Being gender non-confirming says nothing whatsoever about your gender identity.

Thinking "I'm a woman because I'm female, gender identity is nonsense" does not make you non-binary. If you don't believe gender identity exists, you are not non-binary, because if you were, you'd damn well know it exists.

Most people here don't identify with a 'woman' gender. It's why people hate being called cis.

Perhaps agender is more accurate than non-binary but agender is considered a non-binary identity.

@DadJoke

How to find out if you are non-binary:

First step - if you truthfully answer "yes" to the question "are you a woman?" then you are not non-binary.

Gender identity is not gender expression. Being gender non-confirming says nothing whatsoever about your gender identity.

Thinking "I'm a woman because I'm female, gender identity is nonsense" does not make you non-binary. If you don't believe gender identity exists, you are not non-binary, because if you were, you'd damn well know it exists.

What is non-binary, in that case?

What is non-binary, in that case

Yes. Please explain 🤯🤷🏻‍♀️

It looks like somebody is committing literal violence and erasure of us non-binaries! We are what we say we are and how dare anybody deny our existence

@ItsAllGoingToBeFine

I said this to DD. That I was under the trans umbrella as I was non-binary and genderfluid. She sighed and told me that I wasn't. I think only cool young people are allowed to identify as non-binary, not middle-aged mums. Apparently I just don't understand

OMG, what a bigot! how can you live under the same roof as her when she is invalidating you like this? Literal violence...bla bla bla

Oh so someone can waltz into the discussion and completely dismiss my feelings and tell me I’m wrong?

If you are going to ask the question ‘am I a woman ?’, then you first need to define woman.

If woman means a person with a vagina etc then yes I am.
If it means a person who conforms to the gender stereotypes of a woman and identifies with other women, then no I’m not.

If you are going to ask the question ‘am I a woman ?’, then you first need to define woman

Can you define “woman” or “man”? How does it feel to be a woman/man? How do you know if you’re not a woman/man? Sorry. I’m obviously not down with the “trendy” . I’m just confused as to how IM supposed to feel as a woman.

I’m just me and people accept me for who I am - or not. Who cares really 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t need a label. Nobody would say, “Here comes Kimmy. She’s a woman/ non binary/ straight/lesbian…. So a label means nowt. I am me. No label will ever change me. What’s your point??

Everyone is non-binary. People who identify as non-binary seem to believe there are people who are 100% compliant with gender stereotypes.

@ValancyRedfern

Everyone is non-binary. People who identify as non-binary seem to believe there are people who are 100% compliant with gender stereotypes.

No. I am not ‘non-binary’. I am a women. My husband is a man. My daughter’s are young women and my son a young man.

We are each very clear of our sexual identity. We each have primary and secondary sex characteristics appropriate for our sex. It’s very simple really.

How we dress, the length of our hair and the activities we like are not really relevant.

The truth is, everyone (with the possible exception of those with a foetal anomaly) are binary. Men and women. Two sexes. That’s binary.