The use of the term 'trans widow'

[aibubaby]

I've found this term in poor taste ever since I saw it, and this article I've seen on Twitter is a great look at why.

rachelemoss.com/2021/06/24/a-letter-to-trans-widows-from-an-actual-widow/

Marriages end all the time because one spouse isn't who the other thought they were. It's sad or heartbreaking or difficult, and people have (obviously) got the right to grieve for a relationship which is no longer the same. But it isn't a death and it's thoughtless to describe it as though it is.

The lolling hour is upon us

women using the words of their choosing to find and support one another does tend to sit uncomfortably with some people

Transwidows are widows #nodebate

They’re all widows, it’s just that transwidows are a subset of widows, and those whose husbands have died are another subset of widows and just need to find another word for themselves. Perhaps C*s widows?

No?

Sounds eminently reasonable to me.

It seems like the "be kind" admonition is losing its effectiveness to control women. In this thread we are seeing replacements such as: thoughtless, lack of empathy, insensitive, cruel. Be alert to these words and don't be fooled. As Karen at You're Kidding Right says: "Stay strong, ladies".

So @Quaggars:

You do think that trans women are women, but you don't think that trans widows are widows?

Interesting....

The term need retiring NOW and those who have used it need a long hard look in the mirror. Period

Isnt period the american term for …FACT

So thats it I’m afraid…game over, we need to stop using the term. I’m off to look in a mirror…i may be some time

@Bordois

The lolling hour is upon us

It's time for us all to withdraw from this thread as now no further good can come of it.

@TinselAngel 🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

@toomanytrees

It seems like the "be kind" admonition is losing its effectiveness to control women. In this thread we are seeing replacements such as: thoughtless, lack of empathy, insensitive, cruel. Be alert to these words and don't be fooled. As Karen at You're Kidding Right says: "Stay strong, ladies".

There certainly have been a lot of attacks on women here since the board split.

The attacks in this thread are the vilest, though.

Very late to the thread, but I also read the TransWidows’ thread regularly. Sending @TinselAngel and all of the other brave women who post on there my love and support.

Those who have berated them are despicable and totally unfeminist. Shocking behaviour.

Isn't period the american term for …FACT

? Thought period was the American term for full stop

@Bordois

Oh, its their first post in this username.

Shit stirrer and/or coward.

It seems to be a disgusted person in Manchester so perhaps not their first post ever though.

Tinsel, you're right. All the best.

Shocking behaviour for having a different opinion?

And here we go...

It's time for us all to withdraw from this thread as now no further good can come of it

you're right

it was a goady shit show to start with and it's only going to go downhill at this point

Well, I've managed months without even looking at what's posted by the wee shites who hate uncompliant women, so I can recommend it as a course for anyone who looks at the people whose opinion is that victims should just pipe down and wants to vomit.

Excellent for the blood pressure and also focused opportunities to effectively campaign for women, leaving the arseholes who hate us to claim their pyrrhic victories.

Tinsel speaks sense, as ever. Nothing more to be gained by arguing with abuse apologism.

It's time for us all to withdraw from this thread as now no further good can come of it

Yep…

It's time for us all to withdraw from this thread as now no further good can come of it

Bloomin’ bold 🤨

It's time for us all to withdraw from this thread as now no further good can come of it

Agree. Am gone

Those who don’t like term trans widows I suggest sit down are read some books that are available to buy or you could write to Marvel - Disney about your outrage on reason they call her black widow.

Or terms which have been used here on Mumsnet -

Model Railway widow
Call of Duty Widow
I phone widow
Football widow
Euros widow
Computer widow
Golf widow
Cycling widow
Sports widow
Fitness widow
Weekend widow
PlayStation widow
Cycling widow
Superbowl widow
Rugby widow
Cricket widow
Retail widow
Xbox live widow
Warhammer widow

But anyway, stepping away now too.

@Waitwhat23

Or terms which have been used here on Mumsnet -

Model Railway widow
Call of Duty Widow
I phone widow
Football widow
Euros widow
Computer widow
Golf widow
Cycling widow
Sports widow
Fitness widow
Weekend widow
PlayStation widow
Cycling widow
Superbowl widow
Rugby widow
Cricket widow
Retail widow
Xbox live widow
Warhammer widow

But anyway, stepping away now too.

Yes, but I don't think any of those are actually implying that your partner is dead as a person though? More that you're losing them time wise and emotionally to playing games such as golf, Xbox, war hammer or whatever. They're still referred to as alive.

The partner they had, who was their male husband, is for all intents and purposes dead. If they ever truly existed once everything is rewritten. They don't pop in and out of being trans.