Badley Fuckitt Welcomes Careful Drivers

[boatyardblues]

That's where I want to live right now. Home of the Bluestocking pub and the Shady Pines, the favoured retirement home of gin-swilling, cantankerous elderly gender crit feminists. It's like that village in the Dales which dodged the bubonic plague and is a haven from PoMo fuckwittery. Anyone else in?

Errol love, are you trapped in the portal? Do we need to chuck a bottle of gin and some sausage rolls in to keep you going until we can call an engineer out on 27th?

Ok I'm gonna say it.... I can nurture a couple of cannabis sativa and cannabis indica plants, tucked in the vegetable garden, for those who indulge.

Yeah
And if we can get you together with the bakers, we’ll have the most popular bakery and gift shop ever.

I had been wondering how BF was going to be financed

Hash brownies; yup I can cook them.

I've never forgotten the summer of '96.

Accidentally come across some entertaining Tweets:

twitter.com/clairemaugham/status/1076744940724604928

twitter.com/UnluckiestDater/status/1076768840233697280

'Hamsplaining'.

We should slip a note about the portal to Dr Jen Gunter who might choose to stop by and provide:

i) medical care (should it be necessary);
ii) non-stop entertainment and morale boosting.

twitter.com/DrJenGunter

I feel BF denizens might enjoy her current Twitter banner.

This is an extremely funny evening on FWR. Sort of like an old school farce.

In what sense Floral? I feel like I’m missing something.

It's the endless threads on the video of the dainty woman forcefully declaring their displeasure at being assumed to be a male which seems to be being removed from much of tinterwebs.

Plus some amusing flailing on some other threads. One of those evenings where it feels rather like sitting in the middle of a massive foodfight and watching every go stark raving mad.

Amusingly it is available almost everywhere and getting millions of views...before it gets taken down yet again.

Having dipped into reddit, where are a few “see, Trump was right to ban the trans from the military” comments, I have wondered if there is mischief afoot. It’s a pretty decent recording for a phone (esp audio) and a nice length to trend quickly amongst those with a short attention span etc. A bit too convenient IMO.

I’m seeing Badley Fuckitt getting a few mentions over the last week or so, so I thought it was worth bumping the thread. We’ll get the tea urn in the community hall fired up, ready to welcome refugees from all the current idiocy ‘out there’.

I’m pleased to see BF in the summer, it’s lovely!

I was asked to make a seed cake recently, and I must confess it was awesome with a cup of strong tea. Echoes of a different time. I will make another another and bring two batches of massive meringues, one swirled with chocolate, the other with raspberries.

I’m a big fan of cheese scones made with sharp cheddar.

I could do with a few days away in Badley, a haven of cake, tea and sisterly neighbours. Things have gone from the sublime to the ridiculous lately, I need a sanity break!
I’ve been thinking of keeping bees, can I bring them? I think they would be calming and absorbing and we can sell the honey for funds.

Oh I'm in please. I've been looking for a large house in BF on Rightmove, but curiously can't find any mention. So if any of you know of a suitable property to run as a guest house/B&B for our visitors, do let me know. I'm imagining we will have visitors to bring in a bit of dosh?

Don't think I can relocate permanently at the moment, but since it's summer now could I come and help Minotaur with her excavation? Maybe a nice Roman fort? Could fancy one of them.

There's a dog room in the pub, right? And seats in the sunshine outside the tearoom? And a curve in the river for bathing after a hard day's digging?

Oh the river bend for swimming sounds wonderful iguana

I can come and be the village doctor if you need one. My other skills are pretty limited though I can make a good cup of tea. I take women’s health seriously and am happy to make house calls in exchange for tea and cake.

iguanadonna you'd be most welcome to stay at my guest house. Very reasonable rates, well-appointed rooms. Dogs welcome too

If BF ex-pats and incomers are about to arrive, then I wish to hand in my notice as the Village Bobby forthwith, if not sooner.

If anyone is interested in the role, please pick up the body armour, baton and taizer from the cupboard in the Church Hall marked "Childrens' Christmas Party'. Ideally, it would suit somone with their own police dog or horse and the energy to open the "station" between 0600 and 0630 hours every fourth Tuesday of the month (excluding October - April).

I, meanwhile, will continue to serve the community as Deputy Assistant Town Crier. Oh yea!

Hmmm I’m wondering what sort of crime a village Bobby might have to deal with in BF? Or would it just be lost cats?