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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

So today, I made a point and the Men didn't like it.

129 replies

howtorebuild · 01/10/2015 20:56

I don't know if it was a case of attempting to put a Woman in her place or not wanting to do extra work.

I was picking up a new car today. I ordered as Ms. The paperwork was Miss so I said I would like it changed. My goodness the almighty fuss they caused when I asked to have my preferred title used. First out came Mr big boss, aggressive and going in for attack to squash me into submission. Second came Mr middle manager trying to rile me with a huge grin on his face loving the whole thing.

In the end I won, it took an hour and a half, me keeping them on focus, loads of suggestions, a threat of wanting a refund. In the end I thanked the big boss for sorting things backing down and he said stop you're making my blood boil. Confused Shock Mr salesman kept out of it and later when showing me how to use the radio, told me his partner is a feminist.

I am new to all of this and dread to think how hard it's been in the past. I only wanted my title of choice, you would think I was trying to take a car for free, due to the uproar. Shock

OP posts:
FloraFox · 01/10/2015 21:03

Good for you for sticking with it!

ThursdayLastWeek · 01/10/2015 21:08

Good for you!

JeffsanArsehole · 01/10/2015 21:21

I cannot believe they argued with you for an hour and half Shock

What total fuckers. You must complain, all the way to the top of the company.

IShouldBeSoLurky · 01/10/2015 21:43

My god. Complain, complain, complain.

abbieanders · 01/10/2015 21:57

Why didn't you pull out of the deal? I would not have given them a penny of my hard earned.

Original poster
howtorebuild · 01/10/2015 22:05

I needed the car.

It wasn't a full hour and a half of talking, .there was lots of back and forth going on and them making phone calls.

I was tempted to complain earlier. There is also the issue that they have my address and if they are nasty there could be comeback.

OP posts:
partialderivative · 01/10/2015 22:57

An hour and a half!

That's ridiculous,you should have pulled out after the first 10 mins

partialderivative · 01/10/2015 23:01

Def complain

ALassUnparalleled · 01/10/2015 23:53

The back and forth calls may have been to the DVLA. They should have got it right when you ordered it and they should not have argued about it but it may have been faffing around at DVLA which took the time.

LuisCarol · 02/10/2015 03:02

According to my bank, my occupation is housewife. According to my car insurance, my occupation is unemployed. I am a SAHD. It may not be the blithering idiots you were talking to's fault as much as the available fields they have to work with on their database. Please complain. Our systematic and structural ideas need to catch up with our actual lives.

Doraydiego · 02/10/2015 04:06

Why was 'ms' on the documents? I have never ordered anything that had a "Title" in the paperwork. And I am a girl with a boy's name!

ChunkyPickle · 02/10/2015 09:43

My Car registration papers have a title (Ms - but then I filled them in), as does my driving license - my garage has been corrected a number of times, but still, I'm randomly Miss or Mrs on their paperwork. I correct them every time, sometimes they tap into a computer for a bit, and still, the next time it's still not right.

Can't really change dealer - we've kept main dealer servicing on this car and they're the only one within sensible distance (and surprisingly, even when I investigated some independents, competitive on price - as long as you don't buy things like tyres or windscreen wipers through them)

BrianCoxReborn · 02/10/2015 10:06

Can I ask a possibly stupid question?

Can you just decide to start using Ms? I'm "Miss" but at 37 years old, it's annoying that I'm automatically telling strangers something other than my name, when filling out forms or taking delivery of something.

Do you have to officially change to "Ms"? Or can I just start changing as and when the opportunity arises (renewing DVLA details, updating bank details etc)

shovetheholly · 02/10/2015 12:06

No, you can just change whenever you like!

LaContessaDiPlump · 02/10/2015 12:10

That is ridiculous. You asked for a particular title, they got it wrong and kicked off when you tried to get them to correct it. Well done to you for sticking with it!

RandomMess · 02/10/2015 12:20

Confused why would anyone use anything other than the information you had given them? How on earth could they make an issue of it, "Oh sorry we've made a mistake I'll go and sort it..."Confused

Lottapianos · 02/10/2015 12:28

They argued with you, agressively, for an hour and a half, about your title? Dear me. You must be made of strong stuff OP, and well done for digging your heels in. What a bunch of divs. Yes, absolutely complain.

Elendon · 02/10/2015 12:29

Just to remind posters, the car was ordered as Ms. The company had put it down as Miss. It was their fault, and they should have bent over backwards to rectify the situation. I would bet my only large possession (thankfully, my house), that if it had been a Dr, or say, Rev, they would have been most apologetic.

I ordered a car, and was asked to give a deposit. Later I changed my mind. The money was not refunded to my account for over a week, so I rang up to check. I was put through to the 'Boss man' who proceeded to be condescending and aggressively abusive! I only wanted to know when the money would be refunded! They won't be getting my money ever again.

Well done howto in sticking to your guns.

Original poster
howtorebuild · 02/10/2015 12:30

I think I will complain then. Should I go to the main supplier or the subdealers?

OP posts:
Elendon · 02/10/2015 12:36

Oh and by the way, I have two friends who are Dr and Rev, both female. The Dr said that she was put down as Mrs and asked for this to be changed. It was done swiftly (the fact she was buying a high end motor had nothing to do with it, she added sarcastically when retelling).

TheHoneyBadger · 02/10/2015 12:37

definite complaint to head office with as much word for word quotes of who said what to you as possible including the incriminating 'you're making my blood boil' (wtaf?). make sure you explain the three males to one female dynamic and how many people would find that an intimidating when people were being so aggressive and rude even without potentially threatening remarks like that. really, really complain and ask for information as to how you will be compensated and what action will be taken. detail exactly how much of your time was wasted etc and give them a date you expect to hear back by and what you info you expect eg. action taken, compensation offered, who you can take your complaint to next if you do not feel it has been dealt with effectively etc.

Original poster
howtorebuild · 02/10/2015 12:39

It was a notability car should I tell them too?

OP posts:
Elendon · 02/10/2015 12:45

Yes, to everything TheHoneyBadger said and add it was a notability car as well.

Pile the complaint on. It's the only way they will learn.

Contact the press if you have to. Radio 4 You and Yours is a good start.

aprilanne · 02/10/2015 12:53

sorry dont get why its such a big deal if you are married its mrs unmarried miss .unless of course you dr or reverend this ms is just stupid .why could you complain yes they were being a bit daft but so were you .

AnnieGanCannyInARush · 02/10/2015 12:56

I think miss is stupid and I think it is a big deal. Complain.