So today, I made a point and the Men didn't like it.

[howtorebuild]

I don't know if it was a case of attempting to put a Woman in her place or not wanting to do extra work.

I was picking up a new car today. I ordered as Ms. The paperwork was Miss so I said I would like it changed. My goodness the almighty fuss they caused when I asked to have my preferred title used. First out came Mr big boss, aggressive and going in for attack to squash me into submission. Second came Mr middle manager trying to rile me with a huge grin on his face loving the whole thing.

In the end I won, it took an hour and a half, me keeping them on focus, loads of suggestions, a threat of wanting a refund. In the end I thanked the big boss for sorting things backing down and he said stop you're making my blood boil. Mr salesman kept out of it and later when showing me how to use the radio, told me his partner is a feminist.

I am new to all of this and dread to think how hard it's been in the past. I only wanted my title of choice, you would think I was trying to take a car for free, due to the uproar.

but RandomMess your name being spelt wrong, is that because the Men dont like it, or just because people are damned lazy... I think its due to laziness, not a attempt at 'keeping the little woman down'

( I ALWAYS reply with the name on the signature)

Good for you, OP.

I despair of all the young women today who tell me that 'Ms' is just for divorced women.

In the US, the law degree is Juris Doctor and like Doctor of Medicine, is a post-graduate degree. The convention among lawyers is not to use the title, though, so all lawyers are addressed Mr or Ms.

LittleRedSparke the point I was trying to make is that call people want they want to be called regardless of their gender, whether it's their title or first name or surname.

Actually my version is the feminine form and they keep using the traditional male one.

I don't think they want to keep the little women at bay I think most of the time they are being ignorant which is no excuse at all.

I think there's a strong chance that the mistake was an honest one, just careless typing up. BUT the problem is that they should have just SORTED IT OUT. If they'd spelt her first name "Berecca" instead of "Rebecca" they'd have seen the problem and sorted it. How is this any different? Do write a complain and do have fun with it. And tweet it.

As an aside, I've asked my bank (Santander, if you're wondering) to change my title to Ms about ...9 times? And they still haven't done it. They have managed to change my address at least twice in that time without any difficulty.

That's what I think too AskingForAPal it was an oversight but they truly showed themselves up big time by refusing to see it was an issue and bloody horrific customer service to argue with the customer!

This afternoon I had to go around my workplace asking everyone how they wanted their names to appear on the new staff ID cards we are having made.

We have already decided that it is to be "Title-First initial-Surname" but the amount of discussion and thought that went into it....

Would be so much easier and better if we had one title for everyone, or none.

The Quakers have the right idea. No titles except sometimes the use of Friend.

maybe my feminist radar is way off living in a house with hubby 3 sons even all my pets are male

From this and other posts I'm guessing you use Mrs and the same surname as your husband.

Would you complain if you ordered something and it came addressed to Ms? Or Miss? Or Mr?

I'm guessing you use Mrs and the same surname as your husband.

Ah yes, that old crime! Whatever happened to accepting other people's/women's choice - which is surely what the OP is all about?

Blanche, the point of that post was in the second part.
Would she complain of being put down as Miss or Ms if she uses the title Mrs.
Not what title she uses.

There is still an underlying condescension here to any woman who does use the traditional convention though.

The point is that, regardless of what name you choose, it is rude for anyone, individual or company to repeatedly get it wrong. Whatever your choice, spelling or change it is incumbent on the entire world to respect your wishes.

It is not a feminist issue in that respect.

Of course it is a feminist issue, but not in isolation. It becomes a feminist issue when the reason behind a lack of compliance is one of dismissal rather than technological crap. In ops case it is likely to be the latter, compounded by the former.

sashh I'm married. I use Ms and MySurnameHisSurname. If post comes with the wrong title, I let the sender know.
My DD is also MySurnameHisSurname. She is the the child of both of us, so she gets both our names. Whether she choses to call herself Miss, Ms or Mrs (or Mr) when older will be her choice.

Someone upthread said we need a gender neutral title. Completely agree.

I remember years ago having a conversation with someone on the phone at work, helping with an issue. He wanted to tell my boss how helpful I'd been and asked for my name, which I gave. He then went on to ask "is it Miss or Mrs?" I asked him why he wanted to know.
He then said he needed to know whether I was married or not
Again, I asked him why he wanted to know.
Apparently so it was to enable him to advise my boss how helpful I was.
I said I was the only person with that name in our department, and, in fact, the whole company, so he could just give my name.
In the end I pretended to have another incoming call as he just didn't get it and I didn't want to waste any more time arguing.

In part of a blended family, OH has 2 children who live with him and I have mine. My two are to different dad's. DC1 has my surname (e.g. Smith), DC2 has a double-baralled surname, with his dad's name (Jones) included.

So DC1 - Smith
DC2 - Jones Smith

Now with OH (Mr Brown) if we get married I refuse to be his surname as I then lose the name connection with my children (DC1 very proud of our name, DC2 dad would be furious if I suggested DC2 changes his name to OH's)

So I'm going to be double marvelled: Ms Smith Brown

No Mrs, as it's (in my opinion and no reflection on those who chose to use it) outdated.

Barrelled and not marvelled. Also "updated" due to the complicated nature of our joined families.

Ffs. I correct autocorrect and it just does it's own thing. "Updated" = outdated.

I've been Ms since I was thirteen and have kept my surname on marriage. I have a plethora of friends who have changed their names, not changed their names, use Miss, Ms or Mrs, are avowed feminists and not. I make a point of using the name they use for themselves, whether or not they have made the same choices as me.

In my opinion it is plain rude not to respect someone else's choice. The fact that not only my in-laws but also my own family choose to address post to me as Mrs Marriedname utterly fucks me off. I applaud your persistence, OP. How shameful that this is an issue in 2015.

I quite like double marvelled !

Someone upthread said we need a gender neutral title. Completely agree.

There is one. Mx.

wiki link

Feminists must have a lot of free time if they have hours to spare to squabble and complain over relatively trivial matters.

If you actually had a demanding full-time job then I can guarantee you that you would be so busy little petty things would stop bothering you so much.

"I was picking up a new car today"

Congrats on your new car. Who bought you it? bf/hubby or daddy?

Ah, bless you.

Is that the best you can do?

no Man bought the car.

I think poyu has somehow escaped from the 1950s

It's quite sweet really.