So today, I made a point and the Men didn't like it.

[howtorebuild]

I don't know if it was a case of attempting to put a Woman in her place or not wanting to do extra work.

I was picking up a new car today. I ordered as Ms. The paperwork was Miss so I said I would like it changed. My goodness the almighty fuss they caused when I asked to have my preferred title used. First out came Mr big boss, aggressive and going in for attack to squash me into submission. Second came Mr middle manager trying to rile me with a huge grin on his face loving the whole thing.

In the end I won, it took an hour and a half, me keeping them on focus, loads of suggestions, a threat of wanting a refund. In the end I thanked the big boss for sorting things backing down and he said stop you're making my blood boil. Mr salesman kept out of it and later when showing me how to use the radio, told me his partner is a feminist.

I am new to all of this and dread to think how hard it's been in the past. I only wanted my title of choice, you would think I was trying to take a car for free, due to the uproar.

Actually, if I were head of the world for a day, I'd ban titles.

A lot of people don't want strangers using their first name. The example usually given is elderly women in hospital being called Edith rather than Mrs/Miss Jones. It suggests a familiarity that many people aren't comfortable with, particularly if in a vulnerable situation.

But just using a last name for someone would sound like you are in school or the army. "Oi, Jones! I am talking to you!"

But there is no need for different titles in the future. We could just have one for everyone.

Interesting thread - well done OP.

Can you imagine how they would have fallen over themselves to change the paperwork if it was for a man and had been mistakenly entered as Ms. ? They would have called him Sir every other sentence and apologised continuously. Bet it would have taken a lot less than an hour and a half..

At the moment I use Mrs, but I'm planning to go back to work this year and will be using Ms. Married Surname as my work name because I don't want anyone to be able to make assumptions about me purely based on title in a professional sphere.

No one really uses "Master" for a young boy.

My personal campaign is for using no title I tend to agree since if everyone gets one they aren't conferring any dignity or politeness.

The last time this was discussed I did think of one situation where they were useful. I can't now think of what it was. Possibly where a named person is being referred to several times. One might start a report about ALass Unparalleled but the subsequent references might be to Ms Unparalleled just because stylistically repeating the full name every time looks a bit laboured.

I can't think of where they are useful. I do wonder what my pupils would call me.

I think they didnt want to change it because of the work involved, i dont think that anyone really cares that if you should be labeled as Miss/Mrs. I think that they just got it wrong, i dont think there was an underlying oppression here.

A Mrs could be anyone who has been married before, a widow, a divorce, not just currently married

Most people dont even register it, I just call you what you ask to be called.

Obviously though - " stop you're making my blood boil" is a wanker of the first degree and would have pissed me right off too

Bet it would have taken a lot less than an hour and a half..

Bet they wouldn't have said to him: "stop you're making my blood boil."

The aggression and the blood boiling comment suggest much more than 'cant be arsed with the paperwork'. They both suggest 'how dare you make a fuss, little woman. Foul. Unprofessional and intimidating. No excuse for it

I agree with Almond I'm not that old but I've never liked the assumption that my first name can be used at all times. My bank doesn't do that but I have noticed that other organisations.

One conversation with, let's call him Darren, particularly annoyed me. Darren worked for an insurance company which had cocked up paying out on a claim they had accepted as valid. I've no idea who "Darren" was but "Darren" had access to all sorts of information about me.

Darren started off calling me "ALass." Possibly if Darren had been helpful I wouldn't have minded but as he wasn't helpful Darren was very surprised when I asked him if we'd met. "No , why do I ask? "

"Because in that case I can't imagine why you are using my first name"

Chuckling at "My wife's a feminist."

"Ooh, is she really?! Does she know the secret handshake?"

I can't think of where they are useful. I do wonder what my pupils would call me.

They call you Miss or Sir, and heaven forbid you call either of them that when you are a Dr or Professor.

The point is that women have an option to not reveal their married status (historically, and still, imbued with moral value) the same as men have

Slightly facetious, but men don't have the option to reveal their married status.
It's Mr or nothing.

The my wife is a feminist bit is really weird.

Women complain about bad service all the time and it doesn't make them a feminist. He had no reason to believe OP was a feminist.

I don't know if it was a feminist wife, it could have been a boyfriend or husband for all I know, no gender was mentioned, just my partner is a feminist.

It probably didn't occur to them Ms and Miss are different, fools.

I will prepare something over the weekend and send to motability, DVLA and the car manufacturers, see what they all say. I will definitely start with, if it was a Mr wanting his title corrected from Miss...

I haven't experienced any issues of late by I don't understand why we need to have Miss/Mrs for women which indicates marital status, when 'Mr' doesn't.

About time paperwork caught up with the century we live in.

I saw a documentary once about the royal garden party where it was mentioned that the Queen doesn't recognise Ms as a title. I'm all for getting rid of titles and the monarchy.

Little Red I think they didnt want to change it because of the work involved, i dont think that anyone really cares that if you should be labeled as Miss/Mrs. I think that they just got it wrong, i dont think there was an underlying oppression here. I understand what you're saying here that these men most likely didn't sit around chuckling saying 'This woman wants to be called Ms. but fuck her, the stupid little woman, let's call her Miss'. However, I do think it does hint at an underlying oppression (a) that women's titles matter because there are several for women based on marital status, (b) the perception that Miss and Ms are basically the same and OP's political reasons for choosing one over another don't really matter and (c) not sure if this would have happened it was a man as his title would have been correct in the first place and wouldn't have taken over an hour to get changed.

A Mrs could be anyone who has been married before, a widow, a divorce, not just currently married So could Miss or Ms. The point is that the OP chose what she wants to be called regardless of her contractual relationship (or lack of) with another person and companies and individuals should respect that.

Most people dont even register it, I just call you what you ask to be called. I register it for sure. Your point is absolutely what the OP is saying though. She asked to be called Ms and she wasn't. That's massively disrecpectful and patronising.

What has it got to do with the car manufacturers? Do they own the place you got it from? I don't really know how it works.

Surely the point here in the complaint is that they made a mistake, did not promptly resolve it and then they were really, really rude to you.

I don't think that the DVLA or anybody else is going to care whether it was over Ms or them getting your middle name wrong. The issue is the rudeness and incompetence in completing and rectifying paperwork.

I wrote to a big car company after a couple of their shiny suited berks had behaved aggressively. I referred to the male protagonists as Boy A and Lad B, keeping Child C in reserve for the pillock who asked for my husband's number so he could 'explain it all to him, Love'.

They called me Missy and Love for over an hour and were trying to convince me that I had no need for the specific car I wanted to order, the model they had in was just as good. It took me an hour to get all of their names, at which point I left, no purchase.

I got the car I wanted, delivered and with a small upgrade, after my somewhat sarcastic email and letter to the CEO.

Have fun with your complaint. Throw everything in and re-read it and make sure it sounds icy and angry.

howtorebuild: I will definitely start with, if it was a Mr wanting his title corrected from Miss...

Liking it.

Claps OurBlanche

Don't encourage me. I am getting older and more curmudgeonly by the month, soon I shall wear purple

Same argument but different. At work I like to be called by my first name, in full, not abbreviated, and I like it to be spelt correctly.

My email signature is my first name, in full, spelt correctly. It completely f*cks me off that people don't look at the name I have provided them with and then use it. Why would it be different if it were my title. I think it's rude and lazy when people cba to take note.