Is sex working ever 'acceptable'

[neverthebride]

Hi everyone, this is my first post on this board so please be gentle (!) but I'd really appreciate some views.

I have a friend who is a sex worker. Very 'exclusive' kind of thing, earns a lot of money etc. I've known her for a long time but it's only recently that she's confided in me that that's how she earns her living.

I've known several sex workers in the past (I work in MH) and those people have been at the 'street level' and were invariably drug addicts and/or very damaged individuals who were abused in so many ways in their personal lives and as sex workers and would not have been sex workers if they felt they had other options.

My friend has apparently been doing sex work for a long time. She is highly educated, has no history of abuse in her life and seems to have made an informed choice to go into sex work as a 'business'. Her clients are big-spenders and she works in an environment where all possible safety precautions are taken. She does not do anything that she doesn't want to do and has made an enormous amount of money (which she admits she is 'addicted to').

I'm really torn on this issue which I didn't think I would be!. On one hand,I think HER experience might be positive but it's perpetuating the idea that sex and bodies are for sale and I absolutely disagree with that and know that the overwhelming experience of sex workers is just horrific.

On the other hand, I think she's an adult woman who's educated and informed and who am I (or anyone else for that matter) to say that she can't make the decision about what she does with her own body?.

I won't not be her friend because of her choices but I feel so uncomfortable with either of my thought processes. Help!

I've just been looking at random reviews on p'net, and so far I can't find anything remotely like the ones on the invisible man blog.

vofomasu that's an odd first post. You're not a PBP are you?

Vo

Have you emailed p*net to ask that the said reviews be removed as they are not in the spirit of the site, then?

Which "kind" of punter are you then, Vo ?

Oh, and I found similarly sick making ones in 10 minutes on the bus, so not sure what you were looking at. Or is it a case of they don't sicken you?

I chose one at random. This is the first one I clicked on.

"The Premises
clean nice surroundings plenty of parking

The Lady
A gorgeous beautiful sweet blonde, with a wonderful smile "

The Story
She enter the room and made me feel very welcome, the paper work [*payment] was done with and on to the table, she has a great touch firm and gentle and I soon relaxed the massage was great she was great CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HER AGAIN I THINK I FOUND MY NEW MASSEUSE I WILL BE BACK SWEETIE XX "

wow this is so sickening.

Fuck, are you still here? Women being praised for pandering to men for money. What's not to like?

Another random review. If Nia Thomas chose completely random reviews instead of cherry picking them her blog wouldn't quite be the same would it?

"The Premises
Discreet premises at the back of Fenny Stratford high street. Access is from the small but free public car park. Clean and well organised.

The Lady
As shown in her photos Poppy is a very slim attractive lady with wonderful large but pert breast and a lovely smile. She is even better in real life. She put me completely at ease.

The Story
I've been to see Poppy twice in the last week as I enjoyed the first experience so much. I was met by a friendly receptionist and offered a soft or hot drink on arrival. The receptionist takes care to make sure guests are kept separate and the whole set up feels friendly, professional, clean and safe.

As described above Poppy is slim with larger breasts and a wonderful figure. I was a little nervous at first but she put me completely at ease. She was easy to talk to and seems happy to take as much or little as you want.

The massage was in a clean room with relaxing music."

I was going to say I could start a blog of my own and cherry pick ones that say the worker appears happy and friendly. But I wouldn't need to do much cherry picking all the ones I've looked at so far are similar to the above two examples I posted.

vof you could start that blog but nobody would give a shit about your selection of reviews designed to show punters as nice men. Punters would be just as uninterested as feminists who think those punters are scum. Who do you think would be interested in your punter bullshit except for punters trying to justify prostitution on feminist boards?

Oh look, I can do that too:

. She was a little distant, definitely no jumping into a clinch with passion (I'm no Brad Pitt but I'm no horror either, average build, fresh breath and showered).I decided to dine down the Y to see if I could raise out temperatures a bit and within 2 minutes of light tonguing and no other signs of coming she suddenly declared "I come". No tummy spasms, no clenched thighs, no gasps of delight, no clasping of my head to her groin, no biting of finger to hold back cries so definitely a fake.
I'll waste no more time with the encounter other than to say the sex was mechanical and wholly unenthusiastic.

---

Does this come across to you as blindingly entitled, Vo? Not only does this man want to ejaculate into a woman whose consent he has bought, he wants to own her response as well, complaining that it wasn't passionate (after all, he's average build and he showers, FGS!) and that she faked an orgasm.

When you rent out your orifices to men, Vo, do you feel passionate because they don't have smelly breath? Do you orgasm because they've recently taken a shower?

vof - I don't think the review that you picked is good, or shows the punter in a good light. He's still summing her up like a prize cow in a cattle market.

I actually have a problem with PN as a whole - but the bad reviews just show how callous these punters can get when they don't get the 'service' they think they're entitled to.

I would also add that the several of the bad reviews indicate some coercion or certainly unwillingness of the women - but do they report concerns of possible trafficking? No - they just leave a negative review.

vofomasu wrote - "116,919 is a huge number. Out of that many people there is going to be a lot of assholes."

... who are abusing women. You seem determined to make it easier for those assholes to continue abusing women.

To add on to Not All Punters Are Like That there should be ATSBT! - And They Shower Beforehand Too!

The underlying sentiment of "I have performed basic personal hygiene, how dare she not be wild with desire for me!". is so sickening.

What makes me feel ill about the "good" interviews at Punternet, is that the more a women pretends to love it, the more satisfied the punter is. They are wanting to buy far, far more then sexual services and I find it sinister.

"b) track me down and threaten to publish my personal details so that horrible and graphic threats of violence could be made against me and my family."

Nia's name was used in a recent online article, before you start accuse me of anything.

And it isn't the people who advocate decriminalization who "out" sexworkers by publishing their names and photos in newspapers. The nordic model supporters are the ones guilty of that.

You will also find decrim supporters don't advocate police raids who bring photographers along with them.

"And They Shower Beforehand Too!"

If they didn't the sex worker would either demand they showered first or refuse to see them. What were you thinking?

"... who are abusing women."

Then it's important the sexworkers feel able to report such cases to the police. Agree?

"but nobody would give a shit about your selection of reviews designed to show punters as nice men."

Would a typical review such as "had good time with friendly lady etc etc" be too boring for you lot to read? Do you prefer horrible graphic stuff for a bedtime read? I guess that says enough about you lot eh?

"Who wants me to extract the whole of pnet, put it in SPSS and run a random sample query?"*

Go ahead. I bet you have the time to do that as well.

No matter what time of day or night I come on here to post, I always get a very quick (sometimes instant) response from the same people.

Oh, and here's us thinking you were a brand new poster, vof. Not.

Do you see yourself as a Punter On a White Horse, charging in to defend all Punters?

Why are women working as prostitutes in London 12 times more likely to be murdered than women in other occupations? Who is it that harms them? Is is the police, or feminists? No - it's the pimps and the punters. And saying NAPALT just won't wash.

Question- Why hasn't Nia put the number of the review next to each of the alleged quotes so people can check them to verify she hasn't edited or added bits?

Oh, that can be checked on PN with ease. ALL the reviews are vile, even so-called positive ones.

Making comments on Buffy's time is a bit rich coming from you - the "man" who never tires of making up new MN registrations and posting on every prostitution thread going - to defend your little hobby.

"Who is it that harms them? "

storify.com/itsjustahobby/sex-workers-speak-whenantisattack

Clients aren't the ones approaching the daughters of sexworkers telling them their mother will die, sending letters saying they should be gang-raped or putting dog sh*t through their letterboxes.

And clients aren't the ones making fake bookings then going into their house with a hidden camera running, then leaving and posting the recording on youtube. (An Irish tabloid I forget the name of did this about a year ago, the video was on youtube for about a month before it got removed). The reporter was a supporter of the nordic model.

And then of course there's the harm that comes from all the unannounced raids...