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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Man cleared of rape because he was too drunk to realise which bed he was in.

315 replies

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 26/02/2011 12:29

Sorry DM but here.

This guy's girlfriend refused sex, he stumbled into another room "by accident" and started having sex with the woman in the bed there.

He was cleared of rape.

There is so much wrong with this that I don't know where to start. I imagine he's been cleared because he didn't intend (apparently) to commit a crime. But the fact is that neither woman had consented to sex with him, so whoever he decided to penetrate it would have been rape. He seems to have been cleared on the grounds that if he had walked back into his (non-consenting) girlfriend's room and penetrated her without further ado, that would not have been rape. It obviously would have been.

:( scared and Angry all at once.

OP posts:
dittany · 02/03/2011 16:16

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BrokenGirl11 · 02/03/2011 16:24

I cant talk to her becuse its been to long now. i have good people that love me but i keep repating myself and think its enough to do anyones head in.. is there anyway he could still go to prision for what ge has done he had money is it possible he paid his way out of being found guilty?

BrokenGirl11 · 02/03/2011 16:25

sorry i keep spelling everything wrong hope you can understand what im sayin.

Prolesworth · 02/03/2011 16:28

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BrokenGirl11 · 02/03/2011 16:32

im so tired of my life thankyou for all talking to me have a nice day.

AyeRobot · 02/03/2011 16:37

Brokengirl, I am so sorry to hear what has happened. We all believe you. I hope you can get some support via Rape Crisis and in the meantime, there are always people on here who will listen. Your reaction is entirely natural.

Stay Frosty - Started a new thread See here

StewieGriffinsMom · 02/03/2011 18:36

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StayFrosty · 02/03/2011 19:43

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BrokenGirl11 · 02/03/2011 22:16

I just feel so sad i really do. im feel like i hate this world. why can someone hurt you so bad a get away? so much on my side but yet they say not guilty dont they have sisters mothers hate them all.

Prolesworth · 02/03/2011 22:25

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StayFrosty · 02/03/2011 22:30

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HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 02/03/2011 22:31

BG I think, sadly, that they aren't thinking about rape happening to their close relatives as rape is something that happens to other people, not them. As you know and many others on here, that is not the case. It is one of the many rape myths that needs de-bunking. It is desparately unfair for you. All your feelings are completely natural - you have been completely let down.

Please be kind to yourself at this time and continue to post if it helps.

Prolesworth · 02/03/2011 22:47

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BrokenGirl11 · 02/03/2011 22:55

I just dont know till she comes tomorrow i am going to beg her to help me.

BrokenGirl11 · 02/03/2011 22:57

Youe all so nice people i cant belive it. you take time out to talk to me so glad now i found this site thankyou all..

sethstarkaddersmackerel · 02/03/2011 22:59

thinking of you BrokenGirl11.
I can't imagine what you are going through.

EngelbertFustianMcSlinkydog · 02/03/2011 22:59

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HerBeX · 02/03/2011 23:01

Brokengirl I'm so sorry about what happened to you.

Keep posting here, we're all rooting for you.

BrokenGirl11 · 02/03/2011 23:02

thankyou do any of you think there is something i can do if i get all my photos from the police and take them to someone who?? and say please can you help me how has this happened how did he walk free why did the police say all along my case was so strong he would get 9 to 12 years ?

BrokenGirl11 · 02/03/2011 23:07

i just dont want to go to sleep but i know some how i must my little girl will wake around six needing me to be with it! nights are so hard and have been since last august that is when this happened to the 20th august the night that will live with me forever.

sethstarkaddersmackerel · 02/03/2011 23:11

how has this happened - I think because juries find any excuse to let people off rape because they don't want to believe someone did it. I am guessing he had a good lawyer (you said he has money) and presented himself well so they didn't want to believe the nice man in court was capable of something like this. They take 'beyond reasonable doubt' as meaning 'beyond any doubt at all'.

rapists getting off where it ought to be an open-and-shut verdict of guilty seem to be quite common unfortunately.

I'm sure the rape crisis lady will be able to tell you more which will put it in perspective.

AyeRobot · 02/03/2011 23:15

My heart goes out to you, BG. I know that won't help with the sleeping thing but just wanted you to know. I hope you can get some support from your GP re the sleep and some counselling (although you might be able to access that through Rape Crisis).

Do you have a contact at the police? Would you be able to talk to them about what went wrong?

BrokenGirl11 · 02/03/2011 23:20

Yes he did have a good lawyer she tore me apart on the monday. he also had a doctor who try to doubt everything ny doctor had said but even then they still could not cover all my marks the pulled everything out of the bag but i just belived that they would see past that im a size 8 small framed lady he was a big strong man with a tatto on his face. he has been charged for rape befor but two months later the girl dropped the charges.
he has been prison for many things one was taking a girl hostage for 3 day it was the police that told me all this and yet they stayed quiet in court none of this was said no one would listen to me why?

Prolesworth · 02/03/2011 23:24

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BrokenGirl11 · 02/03/2011 23:24

I will try to just so angry right now . they just say i should be proud of myself well proud did not get me a guilty. i dont have faith in the police now because they said i would be ok and im so far from ok maybe soon they will take my jack pot.